Two Thousand and None (2000) Poster

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Pretty funny.
10 9621 March 2001
I saw this movie at the Moving Pictures Film Festival in Prince George, B.C. When the movie was presented to us, the organizer said that even though the main character is dying, it's not a depressing movie.

How right she was.

If anything this is an uplifting movie. Absolutely hilarious at times, which is the last thing I expected. Especially the scenes between the main character and the woman who wants to get.... well, I guess I shouldn't give that away 'til you see the movie.

I gave Two Thousand And None 8 out of 10.
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Utterly Boring
royu13 March 2005
I've seen some up and down movies on the Movie Network, but none has bored me to death (no pun untended) the way Two Thousand and None did. Ever since being witness to this sleepfest, I've lost all faith in stuff on the Movie Network unless I've heard of it or sussed it out on this website before hand.

There's bad movies, there's good movies, and then there's plain old boring movies, like this one. Even a lot bad movies are interesting on some level but 2000&None is boring on every level. It was such a waste of time to watch it made me angry.

The only positive thing this film has to cling on to is that it seems Turturro can act a bit. Besides him the rest of the cast is hopeless especially his wife. The script isn't funny at all and the directing failed to fix the acting woes, so you're left with a big pile of Hollywood garbage.

I wouldn't recommend this film at all.
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Great acting and an impressive story
TheBlueHairedLawyer11 May 2017
Warning: Spoilers
God, you wouldn't believe how long it took for me to actually track down this film, which wasn't easy or cheap, to say the least. It's a direct-to-VHS obscurity which has never made it to DVD and probably never will, but I love VHS so that really wasn't much of an issue for me. One of this film's biggest assets is its acting, including Brooklyn actor John Turturro as the lead character of Benjamin who is using humour to cope with death, Katherine Borowitz as his wife (soon to be ex-wife) and Oleg Kisseliov as Jeremiah, Benjamin's best friend and a fellow paleontologist. It was great as well to see my all-time favourite actor, British-Canadian actor Julian Richings, as the unnamed colleague of Benjamin's who goes simply by "the Curator".

I enjoyed the story, as there are many terminal illness films ('The Fault in Our Stars', 'Still Alice', just to name a few), but rarely do they go at it from a comedy angle. The only trouble with this humorous look at life and death is that rarely did I actually care about Benjamin. There isn't much emotional intimacy between him and his wife or him and his friends, and he often treats them like garbage, from having a affair with a sleazy university student behind his wife's back, to getting the curator to take a plane all the way to Chicago to look for him, to even getting Jeremiah to help him unearth his deceased parents' graves. He has no ill will toward them but he doesn't seem to give a damn about their own grief or confusion about his impending death very well. He's selfish, but at the same time this is all part of the comedic premise that his actions, coupled with his loved ones' devotion, cause.

It's an extremely difficult film to track down and might not exist anymore for sale even second-hand, but if you ever get the chance to see it, don't pass it up!
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Another 90 minutes I will regret on my deathbed...
JohnnyChill30 June 2002
A 'comedy' about death which makes you think of many questions such as 'When is this thing going to end?' 'Why is it called a comedy?' 'How did this picture get made?'

I really did not understand what the point of this picture was. It was just a mishmash of boring scenes with the main character not going through any pronounced transformation beyond giving away a few of his possessions and voicing his desire to go on vacation before he dies.

Thankfully as promised, Benjamin Kasparian finally does die meaning there is no chance that this bore fest will spawn a sequel.
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two thousand and none
insane_chimpanzee13 April 2007
Warning: Spoilers
I really enjoyed this movie. I always catch funny, interesting or thought provoking films late at night on television and this happens to be one of those.

John Turturro (the reason I started watching the film in the first place) plays Benjamin a character facing death attempting to make the best of it. One of the consequences of the illness causing his death is memory loss and memory is a running theme in the movie. Hilarious yet quiet, the film uses old home movie projections on different sources of water to show Benjamin's earlier memories.

Giving away some of his possessions, drinking and casual sex run a gamut of things Benjamin attempts after learning he has five weeks to live. His odd behaviour is noted and addressed by his ex-wife and friends, a very good supporting cast.

You may think the theme of a man living his life extravagantly with only weeks to live thus showing us how little time we really have is a tired and overplayed one. I thought this at the beginning of the film, but it soon won me over and I recommend it to most anyone (language and some nudity are present). Especially to anyone living in Montreal, as that is where it was filmed. Big city shots are used, which is rare when something is being filmed in Canada. 8/10
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Tragic, comic, underrated
Kaarnakylki22 February 2007
Two Thousand and None is a film about an individual facing his death. This is a tragic situation, and the tragedy is present throughout the film. The main character, a paleontologist named Benjamin Kasparian, however, has a really admirable and stoical attitude towards dying. The contrast between Kasparian's bravery and the worry of people close to him is a source of warm and humane comedy. However, the movie seems to be made to provoke thought about the value of life rather than to amuse the audience.

It's really a shame that Two Thousand and None doesn't seem to have found it's audience. People who would love it haven't seen it and most of them never will. Myself I was fortunate enough to see the movie in the Finnish television, but in order to have access to a DVD version, I had to order it from Italy with a name L'Uomo di Talbot. Fortunately the original English audio track was included.

Anyone with a terminal condition called life should see and enjoy this film and learn from it.
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