Death to Smoochy (2002) Poster

Bruce McFee: Roy



  • Tommy : [Breaks open the door]  Well, if it isn't Mr. Rainbow, how lovely to see you in the flesh... c'mere!

    [Lifts Randolph up off the couch by his sweater and grabs him by the front of his neck] 

    Tommy : Now, you want to tell me about The Rhino?

    Randolph : [strangulated]  This is private property, you're fucking trespassing...

    [Tommy throws him headfirst into the piano, with the ceramic pot falling off of it and breaking and he lands back first on the floor] 

    Tommy : Danny, go give Mr. Smiley a little back rub.

    [Danny picks him up and holds him up by the back of his sweater] 

    Tommy : Start yakkin', friend!

    Randolph : I don't know what you're talking about! I'm minding my own business here, you're violating my private sp...

    [Danny throws him towards the opposite wall] 

    Randolph : AAAAAAACE!

    [Hits the wall with his whole body and slides down, then Danny lifts him up over his head with both hands and smashes him through a table] 

    Randolph : All right, you spud sucking fucks! I'm suing your riverdance ass!

    [with a mocking Irish Accent] 

    Randolph : I'm gonna send you all the way back hooome, huh?

    Tommy : Roy, have you got the hammer?

    Roy : Always got the hammer, Tommy.

    [pulls out a chisel hammer] 

    Randolph : [Danny grabs holds him up by the collar]  I did it! It was me! It was all me! Thank god we cleared up everything without further violence.

    [brief pause, then cuts to Randolph's perspective as Danny punches him hard in the face and everything goes black] 

  • Tommy : This I guarantee: That fuckin' Randolph has seen his last rainbow. We're going to find him, cut off his balls, and shove 'em up his ass.

    Sheldon : Well, maybe we should leave that for the cops, Tommy.

    Roy : Cops won't do the ball thing, it's against procedure.

See also

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