Sean Hughes: Dan Madigan
Dan Madigan : You said my legs would develop with the plot.
Writer-Director : They will, they will.
Dan Madigan : Why do they still look like a pair of dirty old pipe cleaners?
Writer-Director : Well it's a transitional period...
Dan Madigan : I don't want transitional legs. Anyway, what's this bloody film all about? Here we are in scene 23 and all these people coming and going. Where's it all going to end? I'll tell you what I think. I think you're making it up as you go along. Tell me! Give me a sign!
[a flying bottle smashes into Madigan's head]
Dan Madigan : Okay, that sounded fine.
[Madigan passes out]
Dan Madigan : Good God, what are these?
Writer-Director : Legs.
Dan Madigan : Legs? Legs? Whose legs?
Writer-Director : Your legs.
Dan Madigan : Mine? Did you write these legs?
Writer-Director : I did, yes.
Dan Madigan : Well I don't like them. I don't like them at all. I could have writed better legs meself. Did you write your legs?
Writer-Director : Uh, no.
Dan Madigan : Ah, so you got somebody else to write your legs. Somebody who's good at leg writing. It's a diabolical liberty letting loose some untrained leg writer on an unsuspecting human being like me!