Off Centre (TV Series 2001–2002) Poster


Sean Maguire: Euan Pierce, Euan Crispin Pierce



  • [Chau is trying to organize a protest rally to bring back the recently cancelled T.V. show "The Education of Max Bickford."] 

    Chau Presley : Check out my sign.

    [Holds up a sign that reads "We Don't Need No Education!"] 

    Chau Presley : We don't need no education. Get it? *"Education"*, "The Education of Max Bickford".

    Euan : But it says we don't need it.

    Chau Presley : No it says "We *don't* need *no* education". It's a double negative, which means we *do* need it!

    Mike Platt : Chau, I'm not sure how to tell you this but, I think your sign's a little retarded!

    Chau Presley : Yeah, retarded. Like a fox!

  • Chau Presley : Euan, can I crash here tonight? My house is infested with ants.

    Euan : Why don't you just spray them?

    Chau Presley : I would, but my uncles would get really mad. You know!


    Chau Presley : But seriously, I hate them.

  • Euan : Mike, did you see them? There were boobies out for all to see! Did you see them chau? Boobies!

    Mike Platt : I told you, she's Bohemian.

    Chau Presley : Dude, why's it got to be about race with you?

  • [Euan is talking to a doctor to get circumcised] 

    Dr. Wasserman : Let me ask you, have you given any thought to the kind of cut you would like?

    Euan : Well uh, well no.

    Dr. Wasserman : Would you like to pick one out from "The Big Book Of Penises"?

    Euan : Uh, I suppose...

    Dr. Wasserman : Joking! Joking!

    Euan : Oh!

    Dr. Wasserman : There is no "Big Book Of Penises"! I mean, maybe there is one, but I certainly don't have it!

  • Euan : Water?

    Mike Platt : No, thanks. I have one.

    Euan : Oh, well I figured you might need a "backup". Just in case the other one runs out!

  • Dr. Wasserman : Ahh, reading about Mel Gibson, I see. He's circumcised.

    Euan : Really? It just says here that it rained a lot during the filming of "Braveheart".

  • Euan : Oh my God! I just met Krisie Lee's boyfriend

    Chau Presley : Oh... was he a big guy? Oh! But with an ironic nick-name like "Tiny"!

  • [Mr. Dexter banging on the door, and yells for Euan] 

    Euan : Oh God, what do I do?...

    [looks at Liz] 

    Euan : Liz! Liz, Be my girlfriend!

    Liz Lombardi : What?

    Euan : Come on play along! You're fantasy's finally coming true!

    [looks at Chau and Mike] 

    Euan : And you two...

    Chau Presley : Uhhh... we're you're GAY friends!

  • Euan : [opens the door to greet Mr. Dexter]  Oh Mr. Dexter! How wonderful to see you! This is my girlfriend Liz, we're in a committed relationship totally monogomas!

    Liz Lombardi : Yep I'm his girlfriend!

    Euan : Yeah give some sugar baby!

    Liz Lombardi : Oh!

    [Euan kisses her] 

    Mike Platt : Hey!

    [goes to stop them from kissing... ] 

    Chau Presley : [pulls Mike back to him... ]  Oh don't worry Chau's got some sugar for you too!

    [kisses Mike] 

    Mike Platt : [Mike mortified... pushes Chau away and runs for the door... stops... pauses... looks back at Chau and points at him... ]  You just slipped me the toungue...

    Chau Presley : [pulls Mike back]  Dude they were kissing, so we had to kiss... Great you blew Euans whole scam!

  • Euan : [Mike is trying to change his image]  Wait a minute, where are the clothes we bought you? I thought you were changing your image, you look exactly the same.

    Mike Platt : [Slightly slurred]  I don't think so.

    [Sticks out his tongue to reveal a tongue-piercing] 

    Euan : You pierced your tongue?

    Mike Platt : Yeah, no dit Derlock!

    Liz Lombardi : Yeah, that reminds me. I've gotta go, I've got a date tonight.

    Euan : Hang on, Mike's tongue-ring reminds you that you have a date tonight?

    Liz Lombardi : Yeah. *He's* got a stud in his mouth...

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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