Off Centre (2001–2002)
Sean Maguire: Euan Pierce, Euan Crispin Pierce
[Chau is trying to organize a protest rally to bring back the recently cancelled T.V. show "The Education of Max Bickford."]
Chau Presley : Check out my sign.
[Holds up a sign that reads "We Don't Need No Education!"]
Chau Presley : We don't need no education. Get it? *"Education"*, "The Education of Max Bickford".
Euan : But it says we don't need it.
Chau Presley : No it says "We *don't* need *no* education". It's a double negative, which means we *do* need it!
Mike Platt : Chau, I'm not sure how to tell you this but, I think your sign's a little retarded!
Chau Presley : Yeah, retarded. Like a fox!
[Euan is talking to a doctor to get circumcised]
Dr. Wasserman : Let me ask you, have you given any thought to the kind of cut you would like?
Euan : Well uh, well no.
Dr. Wasserman : Would you like to pick one out from "The Big Book Of Penises"?
Euan : Uh, I suppose...
Dr. Wasserman : Joking! Joking!
Euan : Oh!
Dr. Wasserman : There is no "Big Book Of Penises"! I mean, maybe there is one, but I certainly don't have it!
[Mr. Dexter banging on the door, and yells for Euan]
Euan : Oh God, what do I do?...
[looks at Liz]
Euan : Liz! Liz, Be my girlfriend!
Liz Lombardi : What?
Euan : Come on play along! You're fantasy's finally coming true!
[looks at Chau and Mike]
Euan : And you two...
Chau Presley : Uhhh... we're you're GAY friends!
Euan : [opens the door to greet Mr. Dexter] Oh Mr. Dexter! How wonderful to see you! This is my girlfriend Liz, we're in a committed relationship totally monogomas!
Liz Lombardi : Yep I'm his girlfriend!
Euan : Yeah give some sugar baby!
Liz Lombardi : Oh!
[Euan kisses her]
Mike Platt : Hey!
[goes to stop them from kissing... ]
Chau Presley : [pulls Mike back to him... ] Oh don't worry Chau's got some sugar for you too!
Mike Platt : [Mike mortified... pushes Chau away and runs for the door... stops... pauses... looks back at Chau and points at him... ] You just slipped me the toungue...
Chau Presley : [pulls Mike back] Dude they were kissing, so we had to kiss... Great you blew Euans whole scam!
Euan : [Mike is trying to change his image] Wait a minute, where are the clothes we bought you? I thought you were changing your image, you look exactly the same.
Mike Platt : [Slightly slurred] I don't think so.
[Sticks out his tongue to reveal a tongue-piercing]
Euan : You pierced your tongue?
Mike Platt : Yeah, no dit Derlock!
Liz Lombardi : Yeah, that reminds me. I've gotta go, I've got a date tonight.
Euan : Hang on, Mike's tongue-ring reminds you that you have a date tonight?
Liz Lombardi : Yeah. *He's* got a stud in his mouth...