Scrubs (TV Series 2001–2010) Poster


Robert Maschio: Todd



  • [a strange smell appears during surgery] 

    Dr. Wen : I don't know where that smell came from.

    Todd : Uh, sir?

    Dr. Wen : What is it, do you see something?

    Todd : Sir, I farted. That smell was from the fart that I made.

    Chris Turk : Dude.

    Dr. Wen : Get the Hell out of my O.R.!

  • Todd : Why won't any women talk to me?

    Attractive nurse : Because you're slimy and you turn everything into a double entendre.

    Todd : I do not.

    [Attractive nurse leaves, Todd stares at Turk] 

    Chris Turk : Go ahead.

    Todd : I'd like to double her entendre.

  • Janitor : Ok, look. Attention, roof poopers! Setting aside for a moment the fact that I'm gonna make sure you all live to regret this day - let's keep the magic rolling. Let's not tell anyone else there is a toilet on the roof...

    [Todd enters] 

    Janitor : ...there is NOT a toilet on the roof!

    Todd : But you just said there was!

    Janitor : No, yes, I did, but I was using a metaphor- that means God is watching us. You heard this... there's a toilet... on the roof. Am I right, people?

    [Bystanders agree] 

    Todd : Cool.

    [Makes cross sign and leaves] 

  • Random Nurse : You know doctor, I'm getting a little tired of your sexual innuendo.

    Todd : In your endo.

  • [the Todd has farted earlier in the O.R] 

    Todd : Dr. Wen threatened to sew my butt cheeks together.

    Chris Turk : And yet you continue to eat chili.

    Todd : Dude I'm takin' the cheese off.

  • Todd : [Todd is playing Pacman]  Oh, Miss Pacman, I would sex that bow right off your head. Eat those dots you naughty, naughty girl.

  • Todd : [to J.D., about Elliot]  So, what are her breasts like?

    Elliot : Todd, I'm right here.

    Todd : Oh, sorry... So, what are your breast like?

  • Todd : I have to go, there's a breast reduction on the fourth floor... I'm gonna go try and stop it.

  • Todd : The Todd appreciates hot, regardless of gender.

  • Todd : So, once you've got the hole at the bottom of the popcorn box, it's basically just a waiting game.

    Doug : And for the record, that technique does not work with hot nachos.

  • Carla : Who put my stapler on the floor?

    [as she bends over to pick it up, Todd peeks from the corner] 

    Todd : [sing-song]  Thong!

    [Carla slaps him] 

    Todd : Face five. Oh, yeah!

  • Todd : That was really big of you to take the blame for Elliot. Just yesterday I really wanted to spank her.

    Chris Turk : Why, did she mess up a patient for you, too?

    Todd : No.

  • Todd : Ladies, now that the Todd is a resident here he wants to make things clear so you don't have to wonder any more.

    [points at each of the women] 

    Todd : Yes, yes, no, yes, no, and... yes, if I've been drinkin'.

    Nurse Roberts : Come here, wonder bread.

    Todd : What's up, doll?

    Nurse Roberts : If you come this close again I will end you.

    Todd : I'm changing you to a yes because you're feisty.

  • Dr. Cox : Hey, newbie. What's up?

    J.D. : Everything. Everything's up.

    Dr. Kelso : Rise and shine, Dr. Dorian.

    [J.D. gulps] 

    Todd : Hey, how's your penis?

    [continues walking] 

    J.D. : [thinking]  Don't worry, he says that to everybody.

    [stops and waits] 

    Todd : [to another doctor]  Hey, how's your penis?

  • Todd : Show Todd some love.

    [high fives J.D., who winces in pain] 

    J.D. : [thinking]  I hate showing Todd love.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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