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The Cooler (2003) Poster

(2003)

Quotes

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Shelly Kaplow: [about the Vegas strip] What? You mean that Disneyland mookfest out there? Huh? Come on, you know what that is? Huh? That's a fucking violation is what that is. Something that used to be beautiful, used to have class, like a gorgeous high-priced hooker with an exclusive clientele. Then along comes that Steve Wynn cocksucker and knocks her up and puts her in a fucking family way. Now she's nothing but a cheap, fat whore hiding behind too much fucking make-up. I look at her and see all her fucking stretch marks, it makes me want to cry - because I remember the way she used to be.

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[Natalie sees herself in the rear-view mirror]

Natalie: Oh my God.

Bernie: Hey. You look in the mirror, you don't like what you see, don't believe it. Look in my eyes, I am the only mirror you're ever gonna need. You look in my eyes, Natalie.

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Natalie: I thought shit like that only happened in the movies.

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Shelly: Lootz is kryptonite on a stick.

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Natalie: Bernie, let's do it up the ass.

Bernie: Okay.

Natalie: Please, please?

Bernie: Okay, okay.

Natalie: No, my ass!

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[beating up Larry in the bathroom]

Shelly Kaplow: Now listen to me, you little Harvard turd. Lootz is all right, so he's walking out of here with everything he's got coming to him. If you so much as touch one fucking hair on his fucking head, I'm gonna fucking wallpaper this fucking bathroom with your fucking ass, do you understand me? Muted tones, isn't that what you said, huh? Huh? I can't hear you. Wait, wait a minute. There it is. Blended in, at a subsonic level, like some kind of mantra: "Pain, pain, pain."

[breaks Larry's wrist]

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Shelly: I can make you disappear like *that*! And not one fucking person would miss you! Not one fucking person!

Natalie: Bernie would! He loves me. He loves me, and that kills you, doesn't it, Shelly?

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Larry Sokolov: Don't get me wrong. Nostalgia is great. We love nostalgia. But nostalgia belongs in a museum. I think there comes a time to decide whether you're running a museum or you're running a casino.

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Shelly Kaplow: Jesus Christ, that's such a fucking touching speech, Bernie! All that Jimmy Stewart bullshit? I've got such a lump in my throat I can't tell you.

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[last lines]

Larry Sokolov: Gentlemen, I want to thank you for your vote of confidence. As the new director of casino operations I want to make a personal guarantee to each and every one of you that your investment in the Golden Shangri-La will be well looked after. The future looks very bright, gentlemen. Very, very bright.

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Shelly: Who's talking about a movie?

Shelly: This is not a movie.

Shelly: This is my fucking life.

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Natalie: I thought "easy money."

Bernie: What are you talking about?

Natalie: Shelly. He paid me to get close to you, to keep you around.

Bernie: Shelly...?

Natalie: Yeah. Shelly. You were right that first night. I was for sale. Bought and paid for. You were the easy mark, Bernie. At first I thought that you were just another way to make a quick buck, you know? And then I started to take a closer look. And for the first time, you were somebody who wasn't trying to hustle me. Somebody who wasn't trying to pretend he was someone he wasn't. Just a decent guy, trying to get back on track. And it didn't hurt any that you put me up on a pedestal. It sure puts the gutter in perspective.

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Shelly Kaplow: Jesus, Bernie, is that what you think? That I would fuck with your happiness? That hurts me.

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Bernie: Better luck next time.

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[first lines]

Casino employee: Where's Bernie, they're killing us. Yeah, we need him right away.

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Natalie: I think that, uh... I love you. No. I don't think. I'm pretty sure of it. You blindsided me, Bernie Lootz. I never saw it coming. You shouldn't do that to a girl. There's so many things you don't know, that you should know. Oh, fuck, I don't wanna ruin this.

Bernie: It-it... it don't matter. It don't matter what you come clean about. It's not gonna change the way I feel about you. It's not. Natalie, I... I'd say it, but...

Natalie: Say it. Just say it.

Bernie: No, with my rotten luck...

Natalie: Don't... fuck rotten luck, Bernie. That's over.

Bernie: I love you, Natalie. I really, really love you.

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Shelly Kaplow: You want to tell me what's going on out there?

Bernie: I don't know.

Shelly Kaplow: What do you mean you don't know? We're down almost a mil out there. Doesn't that seem strange to you?

Bernie: I guess I'm having an off day.

Shelly Kaplow: No, no, no. You don't have off days, Lootz. You're shitty luck incarnate.

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Shelly Kaplow: You are out of his life, before he even gets home. Don't even tell him to his face. Leave him a note. I'm gonna make some calls, and you are gonna be situated at another joint.

Natalie: I don't think I can do that, Shell.

Shelly Kaplow: Excuse me?

Natalie: [louder] I said "I don't think I can do that, Shell." It wasn't an act. I meant it.

Shelly Kaplow: You love him?

Natalie: Yeah. I love the schmuck.

Shelly Kaplow: What the fuck is there to love? He's a loser. Always has been, always will be. I thought you were a smart cookie when I picked you out. You do not want to fuck with me. Because if you do, your next john is going to be a fucking rattlesnake in the fucking desert. Do you understand me?

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Natalie: Did you notice, uh, last night, that tattoo on my butt?

Bernie: Little Joe?

Natalie: Yeah. Yeah, two 2's. Little Joe. I had a son. His name was Joe. I was his mother for one year.

Bernie: You don't have to tell me this.

Natalie: No, I want to, Bernie. I gave my son up for adoption. I just wanted my life back. I was seventeen going on eighteen and I was so fucking selfish. My family didn't want nothing to do with me after that, so I hitched a ride out here and, uh, thought I'd make it as a showgirl. Ten years later... I'd like to think that if it happened when I was older, with a guy that I cared about, that it would have been different, you know? I think about my little Joe sometimes and I do know I did the right thing. I'm convinced of that.

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Mikey: Tell me, something, Natalie. Is he paying you?

Natalie: Excuse me?

Mikey: My old man, is he, uh, renting your ass? Because otherwise, I just don't get it. I mean, a loser like my pops in the company of some primo tits and ass? Just... it don't compute.

[doing the "coin behind the ear" trick with a casino chip]

Mikey: Is this enough to get me a little taste?

[sticking the chip into her cleavage]

Mikey: Family discount?

Natalie: Are you kidding me?

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Bernie: They've got these rules about casinos hiring felons, so he got me a gig in telemarketing. We were scamming pensioners out of their retirement money. I-I lasted two weeks. By that time, I was... I was really getting in deep. I owed one of the casinos over a hundred grand. I put Shelly in a really awkward position. I don't blame him for what he did.

Natalie: What?

[Bernie indicates his injury]

Natalie: Your leg? He did that to you? He shot you?

Bernie: No. Baseball bat. I got off easy.

Natalie: What do you mean you got off easy?

Bernie: I was out of control.

Natalie: He maimed you, for fuck's sake!

Bernie: Listen to me. I'm grateful for what he did. I am absolutely serious. Any time I get an urge to play off the clock or so much as drop a quarter in a slot, I just reach down and feel what's left of my cartilage. It's an excellent reminder.

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Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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