Desperate Housewives (TV Series 2004–2012) Poster


Teri Hatcher: Susan Mayer, Susan Delfino



  • Julie : When was the last time you had sex?

    [Susan stops what she is doing] 

    Julie : Are you mad that I asked?

    Susan : No, I'm just trying to remember.

  • Susan : What are you smiling about?

    Mike Delfino : I used to have all these questions about how you got to be the way you are. They were all just answered.

  • Karl : The heart wants what it wants!

    Susan : Yeah, well, my heart wants to hurt you, but I'm able to control myself!

  • Julie : [mocking Susan]  Dear diary, Mike doesn't even know I'm alive.

    Susan : Shut up.

  • Susan : Hey, Edie!

    Edie : Wow, get a load of you. You look so pretty. I hardly recognize you.

  • Susan : Every time we went out for pizza you could have said, "Hey, I once killed a man".

  • Susan : Do you believe in evil, Edie?

    Edie : Of course I believe in evil - I work in real estate.

  • [after breaking up with Mike] 

    Susan : Julie, Mommy needs a hug!

  • Susan : It was an accident, Karl. Edie knows it was an accident, right?

    Karl : She knows you could've killed her. As it is, she's got a shattered tibia.

    Susan : Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I sent roses. Did she get the roses?

    Karl : Yep, she cut herself with the thorns.

  • Susan : There's a good explanation for this, your father broke up with Edie last night.

    Julie : You had sex with him the night he broke up with Edie.

    Susan : I said it was a good explanation, not a great one.

  • Edie : [Susan walks over to Edie deliberately to show off and looks very stylish and beautiful]  Wow, get a load of you. You look so pretty. I hardly recognize you.

    Susan : Yeah... I have a date... with Mike. We kissed, FYI...

    [Susan leaves, leaving Edie with her mouth wide-open] 

    Edie : [Susan comes back from Mike canceling the date]  So, how was the big date?

    Susan : Mike had to reschedule.

    Edie : Aww... 'cause of the hot girl? With the suitcase? Over there? How devastating for you... FYI!

  • Susan : Are you OK?

    Gabrielle : Yeah, I just didn't realise how disgusting meat can be.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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