Archie befriends an elderly Jewish watchmaker named Bernie Bernstein who has come up with an invention that he thinks could make the both of them millionaires, a remote control for the doorbell. All he needs from Archie is $1000 to get started, which Archie just happens to have. Edith objects, and the more Archie tries to shut her up, the louder her objections become, especially when the remote either doesn't work or rings every doorbell in the neighborhood. Eventually it comes to light that Mr. Bernstein is a very sick man, and eventually dies right there on their couch.
Jerry Roberts <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Did You Know?
In this episode Jack Gilford's character explains a shlemiel and a schlemazel. Coincidentally, just one day after this episode aired, the series premiere of 'Laverne & Shirley' debuted using those words in its opening song. See more
Bernstein's remote control door bell ringer invention could never possibly work, unless he was able to install some kind of receiver inside every single doorbell on the planet. See more
[Bernard Bernstein visits to discuss Archie's investment in his invention, though Edith has serious reservations
That's Bernstein. I'll get the door. Will you take the sour look off your face? You remind me of your mother.
[he opens the door
Hi-ya there, partner, come on in, come on in, Bernstein, come on in the house here, and welcome to our home. And as youse people say, Sh-boom.
[Bernstein decides not to make a point of Archie's ignorance
And Sh-boom to you, Bunker. And to you, Mrs Bunker, ...
If I Were a Rich Man
Music by Jerry Bock
Lyrics by Sheldon Harnick
Portion sung by Jack Gilford See more