Lionel : [on the telephone] No, thank you. No, thank you.
Lionel : No, thank you!
Lionel : No, thank you.
Lionel : No, thank you. Goodbye.
Jean : Friend of yours?
Lionel : British Telecom. One of those 'are you satisfied with our services' calls. I said yes and hoped that would be it, but no, I then get ten minutes of being offered extra services.
Jean : You weren't even listening.
Lionel : Well, it's all getting too complicated. Do you realise you can get a special rate if you make calls between three and five o'clock in the morning providing you're standing on one leg and wearing a ginger wig?
Jean : You turned that down!
Lionel : That was about as subtle as a steamroller, wasn't it.
Jean : I just think they ought to be left alone.
Lionel : Look, you can't start matchmaking at a time like this.
Jean : I'm not matchmaking, but when Alistair was telling his sad story, and it was sad, it was Judy he was telling it to.
Sandy : Didn't you notice?
Lionel : No.
Sandy : Honestly.
Jean : Honestly.
Lionel : Well, I'm not psychic, am I!
Jean : Are you sure you didn't fix it for the lights to go off?
Lionel : No. Even with my immensely long arms, i couldn't reach from here to the cupboard under the stairs.
Jean : No, I suppose not. 'Tis romantic, though, isn't it.
Lionel : Yes, 'tis.
Jean : Why are you smiling?
Lionel : Well, I was just thinking of the things you could still do that require no technological expertise at all.
Jean : Oh, Lionel, you are a rascal.
Lionel : I have my moments.