Buffy Summers: You're Watchers... Without a Slayer, you're pretty much just watchin' Masterpiece Theater... You can't stop Glory. You can't do anything with the information you have except maybe publish it in the "Everyone Thinks We're Insane-Os Home Journal." So here's how it's gonna work. You're gonna tell me everything you know. Then you're gonna go away. You'll contact me if and when you have any further information about Glory. The magic shop will remain open. Mr. Giles will stay here as my official Watcher, reinstated at full salary...
Rupert Giles: [fake cough] Retroactive.
Buffy Summers: ...to be paid retroactively from the month he was fired. I will continue my work with the help of my friends...
Lydia: I-I-I... don't want a sword thrown at me, but-but, civilians, I- we're talking about children.
Buffy Summers: We're talking about two very powerful witches and a thousand-year-old ex-demon.
Anya: Willow's a demon?
Buffy Summers: You guys didn't come all the way from England to determine whether or not I was good enough to be let back in... You came to beg me to let *you* back in... to give your jobs, your lives, some semblance of meaning.
Nigel: This is beyond insolence...
[Buffy throws a sword into the wall next to him]
Buffy Summers: I'm fairly certain I said no interruptions.
Xander Harris: That was excellent.
Philip: The boy? No power there.
Buffy: "The boy" has clocked more field time than all of you combined. He's part of the unit.
Willow: That's Riley-speak.
Xander: [proudly] I've clocked field time.
Buffy: Just tell me what kind of demon I'm fighting.
Quentin Travers: Well, that's the thing, you see. Glory isn't a demon.
Buffy: What is she?
Quentin Travers: She's a god.
Anya: Anya Christina Emanuella Jenkins, 20 years old, born on the 4th of July, and don't think there weren't jokes about that my whole life, Mister, 'cause there were. "Who's our little patriot?" they'd say, when I was younger and therefore, smaller and shorter than I am now.
Quentin Travers: Miss, excuse me. You, uh, you work here?
Anya: Yes, I do... ever since I moved here from South Eastern Indiana, where I was raised by both a mother and a father.
Willow Rosenberg: Questions. Great.
Tara Maclay: W-we can answer questions.
Nigel: Well, I need to know a little bit more about the Slayer, and about the both of you, your relationship, whatever you can tell me.
Tara Maclay: O-O-Our relationship?
Willow Rosenberg: We're friends.
Tara Maclay: Good friends.
Willow Rosenberg: Girlfriends, actually.
Tara Maclay: Yes, we're girlfriends.
Willow Rosenberg: We're in love. W-we're lovers. We're lesbian, gay-type lovers.
Nigel: I meant your relationship with the Slayer.
Joyce Summers: I love what you've, um, neglected to do with the place.
[Joyce and Dawn are staying with Spike]
Spike: Just don't break anything... And don't make a lotta noise. Passions is comin' on.
Joyce Summers: Passions? Oh, do you think Timmy's really dead?
Spike: Oh, no, no. She can just sew him back together. He's a doll, for God's sake.
Joyce Summers: Ah, what about the wedding? I mean, there's no way they're gonna go through with that.
Buffy Summers: They're gonna expect me to... to be like a Slayer and-and know stuff, but I'm just me, and-and I don't know anything and they're gonna to go away and they're not gonna tell me how to fight Glory and I'm not gonna be able to protect Dawn.
Rupert Giles: Buffy, calm down. The scandal here is not anything you've done wrong. It's the way *they're* behaving, holding what they know hostage, with a gun pointed at my bleeding green card, no less.
Rupert Giles: It's humiliating.
Buffy Summers: Also smart... They picked the perfect thing... I can't lose you.
Quentin Travers: You used to respect us, Giles. You used to be one of us.
Rupert Giles: You used to pay me. If you recall, firing me was not my idea.
Tara: Why doesn't Mr. Giles put them all out of here?
Xander: Because if they deport him, they're not just destroying his career, they're condemning the man to a lifetime diet of blood sausage, bangers and mash.
Quentin Travers: We'll skip the more obvious questions.
Buffy: There isn't gonna be a review.
Quentin Travers: Sorry?
Buffy: No review. No interrogation. No questions you *know* I can't answer, no hoops, no jumps...
[Nigel starts to say something]
Buffy: ...and no interruptions... See...
Buffy: I've had a lot of people talking at me the last few days. Everyone just *lining* up to tell me how unimportant I am... And I've finally figured out why... Power. I have it. They don't... This bothers them... Glory... came to my home today.
Rupert Giles: Buffy, are you all...
Buffy: Just to talk. She told me I'm a bug. I'm a flea. She could squash me in a second. Only she didn't... She came into my home, and we talked. We had what, in her warped brain, probably passes for a civilized conversation. Why? Because she needs something from me, because I have power over her.
Lydia: [about Buffy] I'd think you'd want to kill her. You've killed Slayers before.
Spike: [steps forward] Heard of me, have you?
Lydia: I... wrote my thesis on you.
Buffy Summers: [about Dawn] She was listening.
Willow Rosenberg: Does it matter? I mean, is she really gonna set the junior high school buzzing with, "Ooh, there's a delegation a-comin'."
[about the Watchers Council]
Xander Harris: Yeah, don't they have phones?
[attempts a British accent]
Xander Harris: 'Allo, Buffy. Here's some stuff we know. Pip pip.
Buffy Summers: Here. I'll get that. Sorry... Mom's still not 100% and I guess I haven't really been taking up the slack.
Willow Rosenberg: No, the place looks fine, Buffy.
Tara Maclay: Yeah, it's just us.
Buffy Summers: They put me through that test and almost killed me. And then when I was Faith, they almost killed me again. Honestly, I really can't handle almost being killed right now.
Lydia: There are some very potent elements here: focusing crystals, runic artifacts, an Amulet of Cauldys. Also this statue. Its removal from Burma is a criminal offense, and when triggered, has the power to melt human eyeballs.
Rupert Giles: In that case, I severely under-priced it.
Buffy Summers: You know what, Spike? The more I get to know you, the more I wish I didn't.
Rupert Giles: I should have set you loose on them. That's what I should have done.
Buffy Summers: Giles, that Travers guy is like, 60. I can't hit him...
Buffy Summers: Can I?