Holly Laird: I can't have a trombone major as a roommate, my neighbors'll kill me!
Dwight Mendenhall: May I ask why this has to be decided today?
Holly Laird: [sighs] There's gotta be an easier job than show business.
Doris Schwartz: Well, there's always coal mining.
Mrs. Berg: [upset] Birds of a feather tend to... gather in the bush!
Benjamin Shorofsky: Why do I have to make a decision? When did I get to be Moses?
Mrs. Berg: Mind control?
Elizabeth Sherwood: Mrs. Berg, it's something you're never going to have to concern yourself with.
Mrs. Berg: [relieved] Oh, thanks.
Holly Laird: You know, first my mother moves in, now she's one of my classmates. Next, we'll be double dating.
Michelle: That's ok, Holly, don't think of her as your mom, just think of her as another person who wants to be a star.
Doris Schwartz: Yeah, you know, when Coco would order you'd always help her, and now you're raining all over our parade.
Bruno Martelli: [scoffs] I helped Coco, she got a job in a road company. If you guys get a job in a road company, I'll be all alone, I won't have anyone left to sing my Barry Mannilow songbook with.