Exidor: I realized that my faith had been misplaced and I began my quest for truth. I tried Buddhism, Catholicism, Judaism, Punch-and-Judy-ism, but nothing worked for me! Until I found him!
Exidor: Mork, I worship O.J. Simpson!
Mork: There's an old Orkan phrase about that: If one cannot trust oneself, then one cannot trust another.
Mindy McConnell: Oh, that's nice.
Mork: I'm not finished. And if one cannot trust another, then others cannot trust another, and then others cannot trust others, and finally, who can one trust?
Frederick McConnell: Does everybody on Ork talk like that?
Mork: Well, we don't have sex, we've gotta do something.
Mork: [after walking in the snow without a coat, entering the apartment stiffly] Shazbot, I'm frigid!
Mork: [holding snow in his hand] Wow, it's cold, and beautiful... and not house broken!
Mindy McConnell: Look, it's snowing outside!
Mork: Shazbot! The sky is falling! The sky is falling! Mayday, Mayday! Take evasive action, you get under there with the baby, you don't have a baby, too bad! They scoffed at Chicken Little but they're not laughing now. That little sucker's gonna make a lot of money off this.
[picks up phone book]
Mork: I've got to call him, I've got to call him... just my luck, he's unlisted.
Mindy McConnell: Calm down, snow is perfectly harmless.
Mork: It is?
Mindy McConnell: Yes.
Mork: Boy do I feel like a flake.
Mork: Oh therefore if I think the sky is falling, ipso facto, I'm gullible.
Mindy McConnell: Yeah, I'm afraid so. Like yesterday when you heard that TV commercial say 'run out and catch a bus' and you started building a trap?
Mork: Oh, I would've caught one too, I was going to use a segregated school as bait!
Mindy McConnell: You should go out and observe the snow, it'll be a whole new experience.
Mork: Are you sure those sky flakes won't bash my brains out?
Mindy McConnell: I promise you it's perfectly safe.
Exidor: Mork, the man lied to you, just as those crummy Venusians lied to me!
Mork: I know, you can't trust a man with four lips. All you get is double-talk.
Exidor: They promised me they were coming down and destroy the Earth on Labor Day! They let me down!
Exidor: Mork, I believe in The Juice! You too can be a born-again Simpson, let O.J. show you the way!
Exidor: Mork, I want you to renounce your sins against football!
Mork: Exidor, I've watched the World Series.
Exidor: Oh, blasphemy! The World Series! Baseball is pagan! Do ten Hike Marys!
Mork: And I look up to Kareem-Abdul Jabbar!
Exidor: Oh, do a hundred push-ups!
Mork: And I hate to say this... I like Howard Cosell.
Exidor: Let us pray!
Mork: I hate to disappoint you, Exidor, but I don't have much faith in football, and O.J.'s just a man and football's just a game.
Exidor: Blasphemy! Mork, you've just fouled out on the game of life! May you burn in Buffalo!
Frederick McConnell: How was your night in jail?
Mork: Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.
Mindy McConnell: Oh, what trouble?
Mork: Nobody knows!
[referring to Mork]
Exidor: When it comes to trust, he's full of it! He's crazy, you know!