Brian: Fuck yourself.
Brian: You stupid little twat, -never- let anyone fuck you without a condom.
Justin: You're not just "anyone."
Brian: Yeah, I'm sure that's what Ben thought about the guy who infected him.
Michael Novotny: Right after my mother told me I was gay,she gave this big safe sex lecture. I knew how to put a condom on a cucumber before I knew how to drive.
Professor Ben Bruckner: Yeah, well, you know I was going to ask you out tonight, but now I'm not so sure.
Michael Novotny: Why not?
Professor Ben Bruckner: Well, Michael keep as a cucumber is a lot to live up to.