Niles Talbot: The old rule: treat whores like queens and queens like whores.
Niles Talbot: It's all a big food chain, we eat shit and shit eats us.
Niles Talbot: [talking about the electric chair] They say the electric current's so fast that the brain gets cooked just as soon as the switch is thrown... prisoner never feels a thing. Boy, I'd hate to think that was true.
Crypt Keeper: [flies buzz then get zapped by a bug zapper] Aww, poor little fellas. When I think of their childhood, all those cute little maggots hahahahaha. Our story is about a man with nobler ambitions. He likes to kill human pests and he does it in front of an audience. Now that's entertainment hahahaha. So hang onto your hats kiddies, this one's a real shocker.
Crypt Keeper: [Crypt Keeper sitting in an electric chair] God, what a revolting development. And what a switch for poor Talbot. It just goes to show what happens when you get too caught up in your work.
[Crypt Keeper pulls switch on electric chair and starts cackling as he's zapped]
Crypt Keeper: Don't worry though, I'm sure he never knew "watt" hit him hahahahahahahaha. So remember boys and girls, safety first
[turns electric chair on again and cackles more then goes into a coughing fit]