Mary Shannon: [voice-over] My name is Mary. Today's my birthday. And if I ever run into the son-of-a-bitch that promised me a life of excitement and unlimited opportunity as a US Marshal, I'll shoot off both his kneecaps.
Mary Shannon: You were supposed to drive her to my house, not intentionally scare the crap out of her!
Raphael Ramirez: I *had* to stop at the youth center! The "scaring the crap out of her" part was just a bonus!
Mary Shannon: [voice-over] We all live in hiding. In one way or another, each of us conceals pieces of ourselves from the rest of the world. Some people hide because their lives depend on it, others because they don't like being seen. And then there are the special cases, the ones who hide because... because... because they just want someone to care enough to look for them.
Mary Shannon: How long had he and Sienna been going out?
Nicole: They weren't going out. Sienna was just being nice to him. He was a virgin, so she's gonna... you know.
Mary Shannon: That *is* nice.
Mary Shannon: [voice over] It has been said that neurotics build castles in the sky, psychotics live in them and psychiatrists collect the rent. Wonder who they call for home repairs?
Marshall Mann: As I was saying, imagery and metaphor have been used to sell projects forever.
Mary Shannon: Please, Jesus, take me now.
Marshall Mann: Take the Ford Mustang, for instance. It's named for a powerful and agile animal, qualities we also seek in an automobile. It's called transference.
Mary Shannon: Okay, what about my Probe? Exactly what image is that supposed to transfer? Because all I'm getting is a paper dress, metal stirrups, and legs akimbo. Exactly what was the thought process behind that marketing coup? 'Say, Bob, what's a metaphor for an invasive, somewhat humiliating procedure, because we really need something to compete with the Chevy Speculum.'
Raphael Ramirez: How can someone that burns so hot be so cold?
Mary Shannon: Before you hear it from someone else, I smacked an Indian's johnson with a bar of soap today. Just thought you should know.
Jinx Shannon: Mary, *please* would you do something before the neighbors think we're poor white trash? Oh, obviously not you, Raphael.
Richie Mastro: [talking about Mary's breasts] Are those real?
Mary Shannon: Go ahead, take a good long look, 'cause it's the last pair you're ever going to see.
Marshall Mann: Honey, I'm home. Mother Mary and Joseph, what's going on here? Where are your panties? You bad, bad girl.
Retail clerk: [Mary is comforting a retail sales clerk] Oh God! I can't believe she's dead!
Mary Shannon: I'm so sorry.
Retail clerk: And I can't believe you tried on clothes before telling me!
Mary Shannon: Is there anything special you need?
Tasha Turischeva: They promised me new breasts. When, I can get them?
Mary Shannon: Ma, I know you think Brandi's your precious baby, she's not. She's a *virus*, infecting *everyone* around her.
Mary Shannon: [to Marshall] I just wanna wash the stench of this day off and go to bed.
Marshall Mann: I know, but there are about sixty people in there hiding behind furniture just waiting for you to open the door so they can jump up and yell "surprise."
Mary Shannon: Yuck.
Marshall Mann: C'mon, it's your birthday. This isn't about you. Get ready to act surprised.
Mary Shannon: Okay, look. Here's the thing: Men lie, they cheat, they start wars. They're slobs unless they're gay, and there's precious few of them walking the planet worth putting on lipstick for, let alone throwing your life away, which is what you'll be doing if you shoot your festering, crap-egg of a husband.
Mary Shannon: [Voiceover] The Federal Witness Protection Program is the most secretive organization in all of law enforcement. We do not talk about what we do. Not to friends, not to family, not even to other U.S. Marshals, which is why my mother, my sister, and even my boyfriend, who by the way isn't really my boyfriend, all think I'm a glorified messenger with a gun and why Marshall and I work on the roof of the Sunshine Building, while the rest of the U.S. Marshals reside in the Pete Domenici Federal Courthouse, with their mahogany desks, crystal chandeliers and butlers.
Mary Shannon: [voiceover] We all live in hiding. In one way or another, each of us conceals pieces of ourselves from the rest of the world. Some people hide because their lives depend on it, others because they don't like being seen. And then there are the special cases, the ones who hide because, because they just want someone to care enough to look for them.