Bree: [after Andrew tells her he hates her] The opposite of love isn't hate. It's indifference. And if you hate me, that means you still care, and we're still connected... and I still have a chance to set you right.
Carlos: Gaby, these pictures have to be wholesome. They gotta say 'these people will do a great job raising a child.
Carlos: So, you're topless.
Gabrielle: Yeah, but it's St. Barts and your hands are covering my naughty parts.
Carlos: Do you mean the hand that's holding the tequila shot, or the one that's holding the Cuban cigar?
Gabrielle: Yeah, that was a good trip.
Nurse Ruth Ann Heisel: Time to check your blood pressure.
Susan: Oh, sure. Oh, that's a little tight. Does it have to be that tight?
Nurse Ruth Ann Heisel: Yes.
Susan: Oh. Okay. Ow, ow. That's actually starting to be painful.
Nurse Ruth Ann Heisel: Really? That surprises me. I just assumed you were dead inside.
Bree: Perception is reality, Andrew. And if people perceive me to have a drinking problem, then I do. And I certainly don't want some idiotic judge using my hobby as an excuse to make you rich. So I'm simply going to give up my wine and become a recovering alcoholic.
Andrew Van De Kamp: Good plan, but it'll never work. See, I'll bet you still end up coming to court hammered.
Bree: Oh, Andrew, you don't think I love you enough to give up alcohol?
Andrew Van De Kamp: Look, I'm seventeen, all right? So, you can only keep me here for another year. Why not just let me go?
Bree: Because I'm not done with you yet. It's my job to teach you and you are not half the man I know you can be.
Andrew Van De Kamp: Yeah, well, I got news for you. This is as good as I'm gonna get.
Bree: If I really thought that, I'd get a gun right now and kill us both.