Monsters vs. Aliens (2009) Poster

Seth Rogen: B.O.B.



  • Dr. Cockroach Ph.D. : Might we ask for your name, madam?

    Susan Murphy : Susan.

    B.O.B. : No, we mean like your monster name. You know, what do people scream when they see you coming? Like "Look out! Here comes...?"

    Susan Murphy : Susan.

    Dr. Cockroach Ph.D. : Really?

    B.O.B. : [spookily]  SUUUUSSAAANN! Ooh, I just scared myself! That is scary!

  • B.O.B. : So long, Derek! Good luck getting over me.

    Susan Murphy : Uh, B.O.B., I'm the one Derek's not going to get over.

    B.O.B. : Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait? You were dating Derek too? That two timing jerk!

  • Dr. Cockroach Ph.D. : [about B.O.B]  Forgive him, but as you can see, he has no brain.

    B.O.B. : Turns out, you don't need one. Totally overrated! As a matter of fact, I don't even...

    [starts gasping for air] 

    B.O.B. : I forgot how to breathe! Don't know how to breathe! Help me, Doctor Cockroach! Help! Help!

    Dr. Cockroach Ph.D. : Suck in, B.O.B.

    B.O.B. : [breathes normally]  Thanks, Doc. You're a life saver.

  • The Missing Link : So, how was Derek?


    Susan Murphy : Derek's a selfish jerk.

    B.O.B. : No!

    Susan Murphy : Yes. All that talk about us - "I'm so proud of us", "Us just got a job in Fresno" - There was no us, it was just Derek. Why did I have to get hit by a meteor to see that? I was such an idiot!

    [kicks roof of gas station, sending B.O.B. flying] 

    Susan Murphy : Why did I ever think life with Derek would be so great anyway? I mean, look at all I've done without him. Fighting a alien robot? That was me, not him! And it was amazing! Meeting you guys... amazing. Dr. Cockroach, you can climb walls, and build a super-computer out of a pizza box, 2 cans of hairspray...

    Dr. Cockroach Ph.D. : And a paper clip!

    Susan Murphy : Amazing! And you. You hardly need an introduction; you're the Missing Link! You personally carried off 250 co-eds off Cocoa Beach, and still had the strength to fight off the National Guard!

    The Missing Link : And the Coast Guard. And also the Life Guard.

    Susan Murphy : Amazing!

    [B.O.B. lands] 

    Susan Murphy : B.O.B! Who else could fall from unimaginable heights and end up without a single scratch?

    B.O.B. : Link?

    Susan Murphy : You.

    B.O.B. : Amazing!

    [Insectosaurus roars] 

    The Missing Link : Good point, Insecto! Susan, don't shortchange yourself.

    Susan Murphy : Oh, I'm not gonna shortchange myself.

    [stands at full height] 

    Susan Murphy : Ever again!

  • B.O.B. : My, would you look at the size of that...

    Dr. Cockroach Ph.D. : Foot!

    [Cockroach and Link jump out of the way, as the robot steps on B.O.B] 

    B.O.B. : [from the sole of the robot's foot, as it's walking]  I got him you guys! I got...

    [robot takes a step] 

    B.O.B. : Don't worry, I won't let go! I'm wearing him do...

    [robot takes a step] 

    B.O.B. : Please tell me he's slowing down!

    [robot takes a step] 

    B.O.B. : Please tell me he's slowing down!

  • The Missing Link : [about Susan]  She's speechless!

    B.O.B. : She?

    Dr. Cockroach Ph.D. : Yes. We are in the prescence of the rare female monster.

    B.O.B. : No way! It's a boy; look at his boobies!

    The Missing Link : We need to have a talk.

  • B.O.B. : I may not have a brain, gentlemen, but I have an idea.

  • Susan Murphy : It's okay. These are my new friends.

    B.O.B. : [Grabs Susan's mom, Wendy]  Oh, Derek! I missed you so much! Thinking about seeing you again was the only thing that got me through prison!

    [Hugs Wendy so hard he absorbs her into his body] 

    B.O.B. : I love you! I love this man!

    Susan Murphy : B.O.B., no! That's my mom! You're suffocating her!

    [B.O.B spits her out] 

    Carl Murphy : Honey, are you all right?

    Wendy Murphy : I taste ham.

    Susan Murphy : Sorry Mom. He's just a hugger.

  • Susan Murphy : I can't believe it! Soon I'll be back in Derek's arms... or... he'll be in mine.

    The Missing Link : Ahh I can't wait for spring break back at Cocoa Beach just... freakin' everybody out.

    B.O.B. : And I'll go back to my lab and finally finish my experiments.

    Dr. Cockroach Ph.D. : No no, that's me, B.O.B.

    B.O.B. : Then I'll be a really giant lady.

    Dr. Cockroach Ph.D. : That's Susan, B.O.B.

    B.O.B. : Fine. Then I'll go back to Modesto and be with Derek.

    The Missing Link : Yeah, that's still Susan B.O.B.

    B.O.B. : I think I at least deserve a chance to be with Derek!

  • Susan Murphy : [Fighting the robot]  B.O.B.!

    B.O.B. : What?

    Susan Murphy : Help me!

    B.O.B. : Sorry, I was just staring at this bird over there.

  • The Missing Link : No monster has even gotten out of here.

    B.O.B. : That's not true! The invisible man did.

    The Missing Link : No he didn't. We just told you that so you wouldn't get upset.

    Dr. Cockroach Ph.D. : He died of a heart attack twenty-five years ago.

    B.O.B. : NO!

    The Missing Link : Yeah. In that very chair.

    [motions towards an empty chair] 

    The Missing Link : He's still there.

  • The Missing Link : Halt! I, Gallaxhar, order you to release the prisoner at once!

    Gallaxhar clone : Clearly, you are defective beyond repair. Guards, take this defective clone to the incinerator!


    Gallaxhar clone : Well, what are you waiting for? You and you!

    [Points at Dr. Cockroach and B.O.B] 

    Dr. Cockroach Ph.D. : Seriously?

    Gallaxhar clone : Yes. Take the prisoner and the defective clone to the incinerator.

    Dr. Cockroach Ph.D. : Uh, yes, of course.

    Gallaxhar clone : And here's a security pass in case you need it.

    [Offering a laser gun to B.O.B] 

    Gallaxhar clone : Would you like a gun?

    B.O.B. : Yes, I would. Hey, you guys, check this out.

    [Gun goes off and hits clone] 

    The Missing Link : Okay...

  • Dr. Cockroach Ph.D. : [as the ship is about to explode]  It's been a pleasure knowing you, Link.

    The Missing Link : The feeling's mutual, Doc.

    B.O.B. : I will see you guys tomorrow, for lunch.

    The Missing Link : That's right, B.O.B.

    Dr. Cockroach Ph.D. : And they'll be ice-cream and cake, and balloons.

    B.O.B. : Cake and balloons for lunch? It's gonna be the best day ever! I love you guys!

  • Dr. Cockroach Ph.D. : My, what a shindig. Your parents really know how to throw it down.

    The Missing Link : Huh? Oh, yeah. That was the best party I've even been to since I left prison.

    B.O.B. : I don't know what party you guys went to, because that's not how I interpreted it at all. I don't think your parents like me, and I think that Jello gave me a fake phone number.

  • B.O.B. : What happened to the " there isn't a jar in this world I can't open" stuff? Wait, did you really find a jar you couldn't open? What was in it? Were there pickles in it? Where's the giant jar of pickles?

  • B.O.B. : Oh! My back! Just kidding! I don't have a back! Hahahahaha!

  • [B.O.B. picks up a three from a deck of cards, Insectosaurus is standing behind B.O.B] 

    The Missing Link : Do you have any...

    [Insectosaurus stomps three times] 

    The Missing Link : Threes?

    B.O.B. : Yes! I do! How are you doing this? You're the luckiest guy I know!

    The Missing Link : Luck ain't got nothin' to do with it.

  • B.O.B. : You're doing great!

    Susan Murphy : I'm doing everything!

  • Dr. Cockroach Ph.D. : Poor Link. After all that tough talk, you were outmonstered by a girl. No wonder you're depressed.

    The Missing Link : Hey, I'm not depressed. I'm just tired.

    B.O.B. : Why are you tired? You didn't do anything.

    The Missing Link : I haven't been sleeping well lately, all right? I have sleep apnes... apne... apnea. Whatever, it's not fun.

  • B.O.B. : [to a jello mold]  Hi. I'm benzoid ostylezene bicarbonate, or you can call me B.O.B, whichever's easier. Do I come on too strong? I'm sorry, I'm a little rusty. I mean I've... been in prison my whole life. Ugh, why'd I mention prison?

    [Slams fist on table, causing jello to shake] 

    B.O.B. : Oh, I didn't mean to scare you. I'll just go. I feel so stupid.

  • General W.R. Monger : I'm so proud of you monsters, I'd cry if I hadn't lost my tearducts in the war. But not crying will have to wait. The world needs you again.

    Susan Murphy : What is it, general?

    General W.R. Monger : Seems a snail fell into a French nuclear reactor. As I speak, Escargantua is slowly making his way to Paris.

    Susan Murphy : Well, I've always wanted to go to Paris. Now, who's with me?

    The Missing Link : What do you say, Butterfly... osaurus?

    [Insectosaurus roars] 

    The Missing Link : We're in.

    B.O.B. : I'm in!

    Dr. Cockroach Ph.D. : Count me in too.

  • General W.R. Monger : For the last fifty years, I've been your prison warden, but that it's no longer the case. For what it's worth...


    B.O.B. : Well, that's rude. What did we do?

    Dr. Cockroach Ph.D. : No, B.O.B., that's not rude. It's a sign of great respect.

  • [B.O.B. is stuck to the sole of a robot; it passes by a hot dog cart] 

    B.O.B. : Hot dogs!

    [grabs the hot dog cart; is about to eat it when the robot takes a step] 

  • B.O.B. : I think he sees us.

    B.O.B. : [to alien robot]  Hey! Hi! How you doing! Welcome! We are here to destroy you!

  • Derek Dietl : Susan!

    Susan Murphy : Derek?

    Derek Dietl : I've been thinking long and hard about what happened last night, and I just want to to know, I forgive you.

    Susan Murphy : You forgive me?

    Derek Dietl : Of course. It wasn't your fault you got hit by a meteorite and ruined everything. And I say maybe you didn't ruin everything, because I just got a call from New York. They offered me network. All I have to do is give them an exclusive interview with you.

    Susan Murphy : Really?

    Derek Dietl : Yes. I get my dream job, and you get your dream guy. It's a win-win for Team Dietl.

    Susan Murphy : Derek, that's... amazing. Is the camera running?

    Derek Dietl : Of course.

    Susan Murphy : [Picks up Derek]  Good, because I wouldn't want any of your fans to miss this. This is Susan Murphy saying goodbye, Derek!

    [Flicks him up in the air] 

    Susan Murphy : B.O.B., could you...?

    B.O.B. : [after catching Derek]  Derek, you're a selfish jerk, and guess what? I've met someone else. She's lime green, she has 14 little chunks of pineapple inside of her, and she is everything I deserve in life! I'm happy now, Derek, without you. It's over!

    B.O.B. : [to cameraman]  Turn it off.

  • B.O.B. : It's just legs? Why did they capture a giant pair of legs?

    Dr. Cockroach Ph.D. : Silence, B.O.B! She'll hear you!

    B.O.B. : How? Legs don't have ears.

  • General W.R. Monger : Monsters, I'm so proud of you, I could cry, if I hadn't lost my tear ducts in the war. But not crying will have to wait. The world needs you again.

    Susan Murphy : What is it, General?

    General W.R. Monger : Seems a snail fell into a French nuclear reactor. As we speak, Escargantua is slowly making it's way to Paris.

    Susan Murphy : Well, I've always wanted to go to Paris. Now who's with me?

    The Missing Link : What do you say, Butterfly... osaurus?

    [Butterflyosaurus roars, saying *yes*] 

    The Missing Link : We're in.

    B.O.B. : I'm in!

    Dr. Cockroach Ph.D. : Count me in too.

  • Wendy Murphy : Au revoir, sweetie! Have a safe flight!

    Carl Murphy : Yeah, and hang on!

    B.O.B. : [as Butterflyosaurus flies our heroes into the sunset]  Goodbye, Derek! Good luck getting over me.

    Susan Murphy : B.O.B., it's me he's never going to get over.

    B.O.B. : Wait, wait! You were dating Derek too? That two-timing jerk!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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