The Minis (2009)
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The entire cast, with the exception of Richard Portnow, are horrible actors. They're really teeth-grindingly bad. They were so annoying, I didn't even want them to win the tournament. They're that bad.
The story is one you've seen 1000 times before, one of the underdog going against all odds. Everything is so predictable. The only surprising thing about it, is that the Minis don't officially win the tournament in the end. But, big surprise, the crowd considers them the winner.
And the camera-work seems like an amateur did it. All standard camera angles and framing. Nothing spectacular about it. Looks more like a bad 80s B-movie than something made in 2008.
Same goes for editing. Scenes/montages that are supposed to show the team having fun or in action, take way too long. It gets boring.
If anyone is to like it, it might be young kids. But if you're older than 10, don't waste you time watching this.
That's all you really need to know.
There was no budget.
It's essentially filmed with a hand held video camera.
IMDb claims the budget was $5 million!!!! HUH? Was that for Rodman's booze? The production values are non-existent.
This was one of the worst movies I have ever ever ever seen.
There is not real plot at all.
Just an endless parade of snips that are horribly filmed.
Honestly, the budget had to be about a grand.
There's a cow-obsessed gal from Paris (...Texas); the dwarf waitress who befriends the smallest of them, Chevy ; his Worm-ness himself, and Chevy, (Gabriel Pimental)who thinks a risky limb-lengthening operation would help him. Can this ragtag team of little guys win?
Fast paced action and catchy music enlivens the story, which is suitable for all ages.
The film tries to send the message, don't call them "midgets", call them dwarfs or little people. But with a terrible script and bad acting all the good morals they try to convey, end up being drowned out by your snoring because you keep falling asleep from complete boredom.
The only thing I can think of saying good about this movie is..... It has descent cinematography. They seem to have use good quality cameras and film, along with someone to run the cameras that appeared like they knew what they were doing. Audio is descent too. You can clearly hear that bad acting going on.
If you want to see a funny and good movie with a ex-basketball star, I recommend saving your money and just rent Space Jam for the hundredth time.
It's as if everyone involved in this movie (save maybe one or two actors) was actively trying to sabotage the making of this movie. The only question is whether they did this out of contempt for the filmmaker or for the people who would debase themselves by watching this movie.
The scene where they meet with the big-shot Hollywood agent was clearly shot in a storage facility? Better leave the blinds open so the audience can tell we couldn't afford to rent an actual office space.
In spite of the totally-not-written-by-people-involved-in-the-movie endorsements of the soundtrack made by some of the other reviews, the soundtrack is...well it's bad. Not even bad in the way the rest of the movie is (where you can kind of sit in awe of how horrid it is) it's just bland. On the plus side, it's not nearly catchy enough to get stuck in your head, so it won't haunt your nightmares or anything.
Probably the worst part of the movie (spoilers ahead) is when the son (who's name I can't be bothered to look up for fear that would result in me putting more effort into reviewing this pile of wet crap than the filmmakers did making it) starts "playing" basketball at the end in full clown gear. It's not the clown gear part that's bad (at this point in the film it takes way more to shock you) it's that the kid is the worst actor in the whole thing (which is kind of like being the worst glass of horse pee you've ever had to drink). Like, you could go to any high school in the country and find at least one drama kid more capable of delivering his lines believably than this kid does. You watch every line this kid delivers, and you just assume that he's some super good high school basketball player that they cast for the inevitable scene at the end when he takes the court. Then he takes the court, and, bless his little heart, is bad at basketball in a way that makes suspension of disbelief impossible. Like, I can buy a dwarf balling out of control way easier than I can buy this kid being good at basketball.
This movie is truly awful. Maybe the worst movie I've ever seen, and I've seen Santa With Muscles.