Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : [on Patrick Kloster having finished despite his wife having died] It's funny. I would have been too upset to concentrate.
Patrick Kloster : I was upset, Captain. That's why it took me 44 moves to win.
Adrian Monk : Your wife came to see me this morning, Mr. Kloster.
Patrick Kloster : Did she?
Adrian Monk : She told me that you'd been planning to kill her.
Patrick Kloster : My wife was an unstable woman.
Adrian Monk : She didn't seem unstable.
Patrick Kloster : I'm sure she was.
[turning to Stottlemeyer and Disher]
Patrick Kloster : What did the medical examiner say?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Heart attack.
Natalie Teeger : You know she didn't look sick to me.
Patrick Kloster : And what medical school did you attend, Miss Teeger? My wife suffered from high blood pressure, and for most of her life, she was a heavy smoker and an alcoholic. She was also quite depressed.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : What do you know about poison, Mr. Kloster?
Patrick Kloster : Not much. More than you, but not much. Although I am an expert on the Poison Pawn.
Patrick Kloster : [while waiting for the toxicology report to come back about his first wife] You're making a big mistake.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : You made the mistake, Kloster.
Lt. Randall Disher : You should have had your first wife cremated too.
[the medical examiner returns with his report]
Medical Examiner : Sorry for the delay. We know how important this is. There was no poison in the body, we didn't find a thing.
Adrian Monk : Impossible!
Medical Examiner : The woman died of natural causes. We're sure of it.
Patrick Kloster : [getting up to head to the elevator] Thank you, Mr. Monk.
Adrian Monk : For what?
Patrick Kloster : Our little game. But to be honest with you, I'm sorry it's over.
[the elevator doors close]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : [on the phone] Kevin, it's a restraining order! You issue 30 of them a day! No he hasn't hit her!
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Yes, she's still in the house.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Because Adrian Monk told me, that's how I'm sure.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Fine, good. You sleep on it!
[slams the phone down]
Adrian Monk : How did that go?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : [to a detective in the room] Look, forget about him. Just get a cruiser out there. Park it out front until further notice.
Natalie Teeger : What? You can't arrest him for anything?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Well apparently there's no law against giving your wife the willies.
[Disher walks in]
Lt. Randall Disher : Captain, we just got a call. You'd better put down the cup.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Just tell me who called, Randy.
[Monk, Natalie, Stottlemeyer and Disher have arrived at the airport to question Patrick Kloster]
Lt. Randall Disher : Is he here?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Plane just landed. Whaddaya got?
Lt. Randall Disher : You're not gonna like it. The ME says natural causes; severe cardiac arrest.
Adrian Monk : What?
Lt. Randall Disher : He's already released the body.
Adrian Monk : Wh-What about a complete toxicology workup?
Lt. Randall Disher : He won't do it, Monk. Not without probable cause.
Natalie Teeger : But she was 42 years old!
Adrian Monk : What about the water, the tap water in the bathroom?
Lt. Randall Disher : Checked.
Natalie Teeger : Well, how about her lipstick?
Lt. Randall Disher : Checked. I mean, everything in the house, even her eyedrops, it's all clean.
Adrian Monk : He killed her; he poisoned her! But how?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Well there he is. You can ask him yourself.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Sir, we were wondering if you were to come downtown and give us a statement.
Patrick Kloster : I'm afraid my schedule is rather tight but I did take the opportunity of phoning ahead and reserving a room, here, at the airport security offices. It's nothing extravagent but it's got a table and uh, five chairs.
Natalie Teeger : H-How did you know there would be five of us?
Patrick Kloster : Please, Ms. Teeger, don't insult me.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : I'm not going to the DA, waving a shrub.