This Is the End (2013) Poster

Jay Baruchel: Jay Baruchel



  • James Franco : Your mama's pussy was the canvas. Your dad's dick was the paintbrush. Boom. You're the art.

    Jay Baruchel : Thanks, James Franco.

  • Jay Baruchel : I say unto the... the power of Christ compels you!

    Possessed Jonah Hill : Oh, does it? Does it compel me?

    Jay Baruchel : The power of Christ compels you!

    Possessed Jonah Hill : Does it, Jay?

    Jay Baruchel : The power of Christ compels you!

    Possessed Jonah Hill : Is the power of Christ compelling me? Is that what's happening?

    Jay Baruchel : The power of Christ compels you!

    Possessed Jonah Hill : Guess what? It's not that compelling.

  • Jay Baruchel : Guys, listen listen. I think we need to address the elephant in the room

    Seth Rogen : Whoa, Jay, don't talk about Craig like that.

    Craig Robinson : That's fucked up. I'm right here man.

    Jay Baruchel : I'm not calling Craig an elephant.

    James Franco : That's racist.

  • [an armored RV crashes into James Franco's Toyota Prius, slightly injuring Franco, Seth Rogen, and Jay Baruchel. A bunch of cannibals from the RV pulls all three of them out from the totaled car and starts to attack them] 

    Santa Cannibal : [yells]  Yo, cut his fuckin' head off!

    [chainsaw revs up; James, Seth, and Jay screams] 

    Danny McBride : [on loudspeaker]  STOP!

    [Danny McBride, leader of the cannibals, steps out of his RV with a marijuana joint in one hand and a dog's leash in the other] 

    Jay Baruchel : Danny?

    Danny McBride : [shocked]  What the fuck? You guys are still alive?

    Seth Rogen : Yeah!

    Danny McBride : Holy shit, I didn't expect that.

    [tugging on the leash, a gimp, who reveals to be Channing Tatum, jumps out from the RV] 

    Danny McBride : Get...

    [Danny pulls Channing over to him] 

    Jay Baruchel : Oh, Jesus.

    Danny McBride : Shit, I can't believe you guys are here. That's fucking crazy, and your timing couldn't be more perfect. It's been a long time since any of us have eaten, and you three gentlemen look delicious.

    Jay Baruchel : [confused]  What does that have to do with us?

    James Franco : What the fuck are you talking about?

    Danny McBride : [chuckles]  I'm a cannibal, hombre. We're gonna fuckin' eat your ass.

    Seth Rogen : Fuck you, you can't eat us. Fuck that, man!

    Danny McBride : I do whatever the fuck I want, whenever I want. I butt-fucked this dude.

    [Channing drops down doggy-style] 

    Danny McBride : See that? I fuckin' slide right in that shit. I do whatever I want. This is my gimp. Channing, introduce yourself.

    Channing Tatum : [takes his mask off]  Hey, what's up, guys? Y'all cool?

    James Franco : That's Channing Tatum.

    Seth Rogen : That's Channing Tatum, dude. What the fuck?

    Danny McBride : Channing fucking Tatum. I found him wandering on the freeway. I collected him, made him my bitch

    [Channing rubs Danny's crotch, but Danny shoves his hand away] 

    Danny McBride : Get off my dick. I call him Channing "Tate-yum".

    James Franco : Hardcore, man.

  • James Franco : We're actors! We bring joy to people's lives!

    Jay Baruchel : Yeah but we don't do it for free. We get paid handsomely much higher than the average professional.

  • Jay Baruchel : I don't wanna die at James Franco's house.

  • Seth Rogen : Just answer me one question: Is Michael Cera's butthole as adorable as I pictured?

    Jay Baruchel : Oh for fucks sake...

    Seth Rogen : I picture it looking like a little donut. A little pink sprinkled donut.

  • Jay Baruchel : Can we please go to fucking Carl's Jr.?

    Seth Rogen : Uh, I would love to, but I'm on a... I can't really eat that stuff right now. I'm on a... I'm on this cleanse.

    Jay Baruchel : You're on a what?

    Seth Rogen : I'm on a cleanse.

    Jay Baruchel : [laughs]  What?

    Seth Rogen : It's good for you. You're supposed to take six shits a day.

    Jay Baruchel : That's not true, you're supposed to shit twice a day.

    Seth Rogen : No. That's not true. That's what they used to think, now they know you're supposed to shit six times a day.

    Jay Baruchel : So you're not drinking, you're not smoking weed?

    Seth Rogen : Oh, no. I'm drinking, I'm smoking weed. I'm on a cleanse, I'm not psychotic.

  • Jonah Hill : So what have you guys been doing?

    Seth Rogen : Oh we just hung out all day.

    Jay Baruchel : Ate a bunch of dirty burgers, smoked about a fucking pound of weed, and played a bunch of video games.

    Jonah Hill : Weed is tight, weed is tight. That's awesome.

    Jay Baruchel : It's like the golfing sequence in Navy Seals.

    Jonah Hill : Sick reference though bro.

    Jay Baruchel : Oh thanks bud.

    Jonah Hill : Dude, your references are out of control, everyone knows that.

  • Jay Baruchel : We could build a life here together, Craig. I'd be really good to you.

  • Jonah Hill : Um, can I have that Milky Way?

    James Franco : No, you can't have the Milky Way. That's my Milky Way. I went out this morning and specifically bought this Milky Way to eat after my party.

    Jay Baruchel : That's weird.

    James Franco : It's not weird, it's my special food, I like it. Back me up on that, Seth.

    Seth Rogen : I don't think you should get the whole Milky Way. I want some of the Milky Way.

    Craig Robinson : I'd be pretty bummed if I don't at least get a bite of the Milky Way.

    James Franco : Oh, now Craig wants a bite of the Milky Way.

    Craig Robinson : Yeah, I want a bite of the Milky Way! It's a fucking Milky Way.

    Jay Baruchel : A fifth of everything is what's fair and reasonable.

    Seth Rogen : Everyone gets a fifth of everything.

    James Franco : [to Craig]  I want one fifth of your t-shirt!

  • Seth Rogen : Let's do all the drugs!

    Jay Baruchel : I don't really want to.

    [starts to drink water] 

    Seth Rogen : You should of thought of that before you drank a can full of Ecstasy.

    Jay Baruchel : [spits water out]  What?

  • David Krumholtz : Jay! I can't hold on much longer. You have to reach out and grab me, you hear?

    Jay Baruchel : Okay, uh, you take my hand and I'll swing you up!

    David Krumholtz : You sure? I'm going to give you my whole weight.

    Jay Baruchel : I'm gonna reach for you alright?

    David Krumholtz : Are you sure you can do it?

    Jay Baruchel : I can grab you. On three. One, two, three!

    [They grab hands] 

    David Krumholtz : I'm gonna swing across!

    Jay Baruchel : I got you buddy.

    David Krumholtz : You're going to hold my weight, all of it.

    Jay Baruchel : Okay! Come on!

    David Krumholtz : You can hold on to my full weight?

    Jay Baruchel : I can do it!

    David Krumholtz : I don't want to die.

    Jay Baruchel : One, two, three!

    [Jay lets go and David falls to his death] 

  • Seth Rogen : Jesus fucking Christ.

    Craig Robinson : You might wanna stay away from saying that.

    Seth Rogen : Jesus fucking Christ? Why? Why can't I say that?

    Craig Robinson : One of the ten commandments. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.

    Seth Rogen : Jesus isn't the name of the Lord. God is the name of the Lord.

    Craig Robinson : Jesus and God is all the same.

    Jay Baruchel : It's a trinity.

    Craig Robinson : The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.

    James Franco : It's like Neapolitan ice cream.

  • [after James taunts Danny, the rapture beams disappears; James falls back down on the ground to the evil amazement of the cannibals and the disappointment of Seth and Jay] 

    Seth Rogen : Oh, shit.

    Jay Baruchel : Shit!

    James Franco : [horrified]  What happened? What did I do? Take me back! What did I DO?

    Danny McBride : I'll tell you what happened, Franco. You don't get to get sucked up into Heaven 'cause you were being petty. Tom Petty.

    [the cannibals gang up on the now-doomed James] 

    Danny McBride : You may not have invited me to your party, but you're the guest of honor at mine.

    James Franco : [last word]  What?

    [Danny takes a huge bite into James' nose, with Channing joining in; James screams in horrible pain as Seth and Jay can do nothing but watch in sheer horror and disgust] 

    Danny McBride : [screaming; a crazed Danny holds up James' ripped-off nose]  HOW FUCKING CRAZY IS THIS?

    [Danny shrieks as the cannibals gang up and fatally eat James up to his death] 

    Danny McBride : Seth! JAY!

    [Three cannibals give chase to Set and Jay, presumably to finish the job and keep them completely fed] 

    Jay Baruchel : Oh, shit, they're running after us!

    Seth Rogen : Oh, shit. Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Run!

    Danny McBride : BRING THEM TO ME!

  • [the guys are debating whether or not to let a stranger into the house] 

    James Franco : [whispering]  I know it sounds really weird, but... I don't think we should let him in.

    Jay Baruchel : Why not?

    Headless Man : Yeah, why not? I can hear you, by the way.

    James Franco : I'm sorry, we just don't know you, man. You could be, like, a looter or a, a rapist or a tittyfucker, like...

    [Seth grabs his chest protectively] 

    James Franco : ... I'm sorry. Look, guys, we just boarded up this whole house to keep everyone out, and the first guy who comes to the door, we're gonna let him in? I mean, how do we know we can trust this guy?

    Headless Man : I want to live! Things have gone crazy out here!

    Danny McBride : "Agagaga-fuckin'-crazy-out-here!" This guy fuckin' sucks.

    James Franco : What if he's the rapist?

    Jonah Hill : Man, even if he is a rapist, he can't rape all of us.

    Headless Man : [panicking]  Yeah, no, I'm not a rapist!

    Seth Rogen : You gonna tittyfuck us?

    Headless Man : [almost in tears]  If you want me to tittyfuck you, I will, so good, oh, you'll love it!

    Jay Baruchel : Seth, back me up, please, we can't just leave him out there to die, are you crazy?

    James Franco : [to Seth]  What do you wanna do? I'll do whatever you wanna do.

    Seth Rogen : Uh, let's vote on it!

    Headless Man : Yeah, I fuckin' vote you let me in!

    Danny McBride : Here's my vote: fuck all of you, I'm letting him in. This is boring.

    [the guys all shout and rush to stop him; something growls outside] 

    Headless Man : There's something out here!

    [the thing outside suddenly chops the man's head off, and the severed head bounces into the room, coming to a stop at Danny's feet] 

    Danny McBride : [in shock]  This is real! This is fucking real!

    [he kicks the head at James, who kicks it away from him immediately. The guys all start screaming and kicking the head around the room to get away from it] 

    Jonah Hill : You guys! This man was alive a few seconds ago, we can't play soccer with his head!

    James Franco : Pick it up, Jonah.

    [Jonah picks up the head and immediately drops it again as blood gushes out of it] 

    Danny McBride : What the fuck is going on?

    Jonah Hill : He blinked at me! He blinked at me!

    James Franco : Put it over there!

    [quivering in fear, Craig throws a blanket over the head] 

  • Danny McBride : Franco, you're just a pretentious fucking nerd.

    James Franco : Fuck you!

    Danny McBride : And Jonah... you fucking cunt. Craig... you didn't have my back back there. You fucking disappoint me.

    Craig Robinson : Bro...

    Danny McBride : And Seth... you duplicitous taint.

    Seth Rogen : What?

    Danny McBride : And of course there's Jay... the self-righteous, cocksucking, two-faced backstabber.

    Jay Baruchel : What the fuck are you talking about?

  • Emma Watson : Look at him, he's like a hipster. Right?

    Jay Baruchel : No. No, I'm not a hipster. At all.

    Craig Robinson : Yeah, you do seem to hate a lot of things and the bottom of your pants are awful tight.

    Jay Baruchel : No, I just... I don't like Los Angeles. That's it. It doesn't make me a hipster.

    Craig Robinson : I bet you hate movies that are universally loved.

    Jay Baruchel : I don't even...

    Craig Robinson : You like Forrest Gump?

    Jay Baruchel : No, no, it's a horrendous piece of shit...

    Emma Watson : Life is like a box of chocolates? No?

    Jay Baruchel : No, I'm familiar with it.

    Craig Robinson : You never know what you're gonna get.

  • Jay Baruchel : There were people and they were there and they got... sucked up into the sky.

    James Franco : Sucked up into the sky. Nobody got sucked up in here.

    Michael Cera : I got sucked off here.

  • Seth Rogen : Jay, are you serious right now? That's your fucking plan? You're gonna repeat lines from the exorcist?

    Jay Baruchel : I would assume they did their fucking research.

    Seth Rogen : It's a movie!

    Jay Baruchel : It's a manual. It's a fucking training manual.

  • Jay Baruchel : [after encountering Satan]  Oh, you've got to be fucking SHITTING me!

  • Jay Baruchel : [about to exorcise Jonah Hill]  Jonah Hill.

    Possessed Jonah Hill : Jonah Hill is no more.

    Jay Baruchel : Demon!

    Possessed Jonah Hill : Yes!

    Seth Rogen : Fuck. That's not good.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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