Just Go with It (2011)
Adam Sandler: Danny
Devlin Adams : So, where's Danny?
Katherine : [pause] Devlin, Danny is at his wedding.
Devlin Adams : Come again?
Katherine : I was never married to him. All a big lie I made up.
Devlin Adams : Why?
Katherine : Because I couldn't stand the thought of you knowing the truth.
Devlin Adams : Really?
Katherine : So, yeah. I'm a single mother. I have two kids I love more than anything in the world. I drive a Honda, I still have dial-up internet. I got a 2.7 GPA in college, not a 3.4. And while I'm at it telling the truth, I name my kids' poop after you. And I work for Danny. I'm his assistant. That's it.
Devlin Adams : Really? I would never have guessed this. I mean, you two had a real connection.
Katherine : He's great, he's the greatest guy, and I might even be in love with him, but it really doesn't matter at this moment because he is getting married to another person, right now.
Devlin Adams : [pause] Ian and I are breaking up.
Katherine : What? What happened?
Devlin Adams : Well for starters, he's gay. I mean look at him
Ian Maxtone Jones : [with a group of sailors] That's a strong muscle, right there. I'm squeezin'.
Katherine : Devlin, I gotta tell you, last night, with the ass grab of the coconut, little bit of a red flag.
Devlin Adams : I've seen him do that with the soap.
Katherine : Oh! What about the iPod?
Devlin Adams : He didn't invent shit. He made his money suing the Dodgers after he got hit by a foul ball.
Katherine : [laughs] Oh God! So what?
Devlin Adams : Well, this is different?
Katherine : Yeah, I mean, why didn't we try this truth telling thing before?
Devlin Adams : I don't know.
[They hug. Devlin sees Danny behind Katherine]
Danny : Aww, that's nice. It's nice to tell the truth. The truth is fun, isn't it? Like were you telling the truth when you said you might be in love with me?
Devlin Adams : I'm gonna leave you two. Gotta go get a divorce.
Danny Maccabee : Ooh, the Mafia stare down. Very good, Michael. We're here to negotiate. Do you have anything else you might like?
Michael : I want a flying pony.
Danny Maccabee : I want a flying pony, too, but they don't exist.
Michael : Then I want a regular pony. And I want to name him Nelson.
Danny Maccabee : How about a PlayStation 3 and we name him Nelson?
Michael : Keep talking.
Danny Maccabee : We'll include 4 video games.
Michael : Five games. I want the meeting with Blondie to be at J.D. McFunnigan's?
Danny Maccabee : How about Charlie Choo-Choos because it's right down the street from me?
Michael : You mention that slop-hole again, and I walk.
Danny Maccabee : I need you to swim to Uncle Eddie. If you get to him without touching the bottom, we'll give you a dolphin cookie.
Maggie : Is that what your grandpa gave you?
Danny Maccabee : No, grandpa gave us something he'd call a Heineken.
Michael : I want one of those.
Danny Maccabee : No. Stick with the dolphin cookie.
Eddie : Yeah, they hurt less when they get thrown at your head. God, he was a sick man.
Maggie : [British accent] Hello, Dr. Danny. How are you today?
Danny Maccabee : What's with the accent?
Katherine : She's been working on some accents.
Maggie : I'll be taking acting classes and become the next Miley Cyrus. Yes, I am.
Danny Maccabee : How about you there, do you like Hannah Montana?
Michael : No, I'm more into Californication.
Katherine : When do you ever watch Californication?
Maggie : Rose lets us watch Showtime when she calls her boyfriend.
Danny Maccabee : Where does the name Devlin come from?
Katherine : She was an old sorority sister from college. She was my friend, yet I hated her.
Danny Maccabee : A frenemy.
Katherine : Anyway, I got tired to them saying "I have to take a crap" and "I have to take a dump". So I told them it was called a Devlin. And they liked it. And it stuck.