Make-Up Girl #1 : Jensen, there you are! Let's just get you in the chair.
Dean Winchester : The chair?
Make-Up Girl #1 : We're just gonna get this make-up off your face.
Dean Winchester : What?
Dean Winchester : I'm not wearing any make...
[Dean sees make-up on the cloth]
Dean Winchester : Oh, crap!
[runs hand down his cheek]
Dean Winchester : I'm a painted whore.
Dean Winchester : [to Sam] Wait... you and Ruby?
Genevieve Cortese : Do you *honestly* think that's funny, Jensen?
Dean Winchester : Right. Right. Because you're not... Ruby. You... I mean, how could you be? You... of course! You are the *lovely* actress who plays Ruby. And you... are in... Jared's house, um, because you two are...
[Jensen spots Jared and Genevieve's wedding photo]
Dean Winchester : Married! You *married* fake Ruby?
Dean Winchester : Dear Castiel, who art maybe running his ass away from Heaven, we pray that you have your ears on. So breaker, breaker.
Sam Winchester : For whatever reason, our life is a TV show.
Dean Winchester : Why?
Sam Winchester : I don't know.
Dean Winchester : No, seriously. Why? Why would anybody want to watch our lives?
Sam Winchester : Well, according to the interviewer, not very many people do. Look, I'm not saying it makes sense. I'm just saying we - we've landed in some dimension where you're Jensen Ackles, and I'm something called a "Jared Padalecki."
Dean Winchester : So what, now you're Polish? Is any of this make any sense to you?
Dean Winchester : Maybe we can't get out of, you know, Earth Number Two right now. But the least we can get do is get the hell out of the Canadian part of it. If I hear one more conversation about hockey, I'm gonna puke.
Dean Winchester : What is all this, huh? W-What did Balthazar do to us?
Misha Collins : [as Castiel] To keep you out of Virgil's reach, he's cast you into an alternate-reality, a universe similar to ours in most respects yet dramatically different in others.
Dean Winchester : Like - Like Bizarro Earth, right? Except instead of having Bizarro Superman, we get this clown factory.
Robert Singer : Guys. You can't come to work on poppers. And smuggle kidneys in from Mexico. And make up your own lines as you go. You cannot make up your own lines. Good God, what about your careers?
Sam Winchester : You know what? Screw our careers, Bob.
Robert Singer : What?
Dean Winchester : You heard my brother. That's right, I said brother. Because you know what, Bob? We're not actors. We're hunters. We're the Winchesters. Always have been and always will be. And where we're from, people don't know who we are. But you know what? We matter to that world. We even saved the son of a bitch once or twice. And yeah, okay, here, maybe there's some fans who give a crap about this nonsense.
Robert Singer : I wouldn't call it "nonsense."
Dean Winchester : But, Bob Singer... if that even is your name... tell me this. What does it all mean?
Robert Singer : Okay. This is good. I mean, we've all had our psychotic breaks, right? I can work with it.
Sam Winchester : Dean. Virgil. I think he has the key.
Dean Winchester : We quit.
Sam Winchester : Yeah.