Andy Dwyer: [Leslie is sick] Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here, and it says you could have network connectivity problems.
Ann Perkins: Chris, have you seen Leslie?
Chris Traeger: I had a dream that she came in here, took my medicine, told me not to tell you, then ran through that hole in the wall.
Ann Perkins: You mean the door?
Ron Swanson: I haven't had lunch since yesterday, so I'm going over to Callahan's.
Andy Dwyer: No, don't go there. They totally skimp on pickles. Let me go to Big Head Joe's for you. They have the most insane burritos.
Ron Swanson: I don't much go for ethnic food.
Andy Dwyer: Trust me. They have one that's called the Meat Tornado.
[Ron gives him an interested look]
Andy Dwyer: Literally killed a guy last year.
Ron Swanson: You had me at Meat Tornado.
Tom Haverford: I think I should drive you to the hospital.
Leslie Knope: Was I wearing a tiara when I came in here? Because if you happen upon it, will you have Lady Pennyface retrieve it and send it post-hence?
April Ludgate: What?
Ann Perkins: [Looks at watch] 3... 2... 1, and my shift is over. What the fuck is your problem?
April Ludgate: Whoa, I thought you weren't gonna lose it.
Ann Perkins: While I was on duty, I didn't! Now it's just me. I get that you're mad that I kissed Andy, okay? But it was a moment of confusion, and it was a mistake. And I'm very sorry. You want to hate me forever?
April Ludgate: Okay.
Ann Perkins: Fine! You know what? I don't care! But you shouldn't take it out on Andy, because he really likes you, and he did nothing wrong. And just for the record, I'm starting to hate you too!
[Leaves April's hospital room]
April Ludgate: [to camera] That's the most I've ever liked Ann.
Andy Dwyer: [picking up the phone] Ron Swanson's office. Yeah, I'll transfer you.
[Andy presses a button and gets a dial tone]
Andy Dwyer: I just dropped another call.
[Ron gives Andy a thumbs up]
[April is smiling at the camera as she presses on her buzzer]
Ann Perkins: Hey April. I thought you could use some pillows?
April Ludgate: Are you trying to smother me?
April Ludgate: [grabbing a knife] Help! This lady nurse is trying to smother me to death with a pillow!
Ann Perkins: Okay, never mind.
April Ludgate: Stay back! Slut!