As crummy as possible, a stain on daring! Media's reputation
I don't know if the daring! label's director "Dawn" is a real person or even a she, but it comes up with a goose-egg in this deceptively marketed "porn parody" from the British/Euro label. I don't expect anything good from this dreaded bottom-of-the- barrel genre, but I got even worse.
Packaging has the usual snappy photos of a name cast, headed by Kagney Linn Karter, but the claims of action and violence are phony. They merely ripped off the name and notoriety of the best-selling violent video game, and present random footage with no action whatsoever.
With a bewildering amount of hand-held and constantly zooming in, out and about camera-work, the shots are merely of the second unit nature, as we see a kind of hit-man from Russia (John Strong, his real Russian accent fitting the part) driving around L.A. in his Camaro muscle car running errands for his American gangster cousin Bill Bailey.
What the video pretentiously calls "Missions" are nothing more than Strong showing up with a sniper rifle, asking some porno actor for money owed to Bailey, and then killing him (off camera, there being no violence or SPFX -probably out of the 21st Century fear by pornographers against mixing sex with violence and facing potential prosecution).
This reminded me a bit of another lame made-in-USA daring! release from this period "Angel Eyes", also attributed to Dawn as auteur. In each movie, we have set-piece sex footage, and basically 2nd unit connective material, with all the action, violence and anything else that might be remotely interesting left out. I attribute this to the 2-day nature of pornography shooting schedules, with no time left for creating what usually constitutes the content of an action movie. Result, at least in daring!'s history, is fake-movie-making.
Karter and her big boobs are okay in a diner sex scene with Strong that is utterly mindless: he takes time off from his killing spree to get a hamburger, then tells Kagney the waitress how lousy it is and humps her on a counter stool. Almost as mindless is Strong hosting a half-hour BTS short subject where he inanely shows us the various locations where nothing (but sex) happened. I would have preferred Dawn revealing herself to be Peter Bogdanovich or maybe Walter Hill reduced to shooting porn for a living late, late in career.
Final takeaway after suffering through this video, mandatory viewing for me as I'm currently wending my way through the entire daring! catalog, is that attaching "parody" to your Adult project is a way of disavowing responsibility for all content - the last refuge of a porno scoundrel.
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