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Me and my Father once again searched far and wide for a new film for our 'Dirty film Friday night' and came across this in the x rated video store.
We packed up with some snacks and drinks and eagerly rushed home. The anticipation for this film almost made me sick... and it was totally worth it.
As we loaded the fabled DVD into the player we were greeted by a woman with what my dad calls 'a huge pear' which makes no sense to me because she wasn't carrying any pears and I'm sure that I'd notice a big one.
The scenes generically shot but the acting was top notch, I must say that Ava Addams' shakespearean dialogue was said with such conviction that I was absolutely convinced. The film confused me slightly because Ava later asks for a Motor Boat, the guy says he'd give her one but at no point in the film do I see a motor boat parked outside the house. I have to assume that he purchased this motor boat for her after the credit role which is a great way to create suspense.
Unfortunately half way through the first facial I was interrupted by the door bell. The pizza guy came in and saw about 5 minutes of the bukkake scene and claimed that he enjoyed it. Before he left I asked him for hit rating and he said "10/10 she's got a massive pear" once again, alluding to the giant pear which I couldn't for the life of me see in shot, perhaps it was a hidden narrative similar to the ones in Stanley Kubrick scenes and I just didn't notice it.
In perhaps one of the biggest plot twists in 20th century cinema Ava must've ended up with constipation or something towards the end of the video (a sad moment for anyone, I've been there and have the Ex-lax packets to prove it!) because Erik decides to stick a very veiny looking flute (or recorder?) up her bottom to relieve the awful constipation. Kinda makes me wish I had someone around to do that to me, however my girlfriend left me a while ago because I was too naïve , whatever that means.
Anyway, me and my father really enjoyed this film, I watched it multiple times to try and find the hidden 'Giant Pear' but struggled to find it... Perhaps a film analyst can view over the film and point me to the hidden pear? My rating: 8/10 - Great film, very good acting although the plot had a lot to be desired and I was slightly frustrated that I couldn't find the giant pear.
My Dads rating: 9/10 - My son isn't very intelligent, but boy oh boy can he pick a good film.
Pizza guys rating: 10/10 - She's got a massive pear.
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