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"Episodes" Episode Five (TV Episode 2011) Poster

(TV Series)

(2011)

Quotes

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Beverly Lincoln: [about Morning's revealing skirt] She's a librarian in a boys' boarding school. I'm guessing it's not within her job description to show the boys her vagina.

Morning Randolph: They might go to the library more.

Howard: Look at it with the glasses.

[places a pair of glasses on Morning's face]

Howard: Hmm?

Beverly Lincoln: Right. So, now it's a vagina with glasses.

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Andrew Lesley: So, what brings you here?

Sean Lincoln: [indicating Matt and Morning, who sit nearby] Uh, we're doing a TV pilot. We're making an American version of Lyman's Boys.

Andrew Lesley: Awesome. Who's doing Julian's part?

Sean Lincoln: [pointing] Matt is.

Andrew Lesley: [bursts out laughing, then notices that Matt does not look amused] Oh, you're serious.

[stammering]

Andrew Lesley: Well, that... that's fantastic.

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Beverly Lincoln: [sighs] Every day I feel like we are making this show worse. I can barely remember why I liked it to begin with. I hate L.A. I'm sick of the sunshine and the mojitos. I... I am tired of feeling fat when I'm not fat.

Carol Rance: You're not fat.

Beverly Lincoln: Thank you!

Carol Rance: Am I fat?

Beverly Lincoln: No! You're not fat!

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Beverly Lincoln: So, what is this charity thing that I'm not invited to tonight?

Sean Lincoln: It's for rape.

Beverly Lincoln: It's *for* rape?

Sean Lincoln: No, obviously it's not for- it's not *for* rape. It's not pro-rape.

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Merc Lapidus: [at the charity event] Jamie's the co-chair of this whole thing.

Sean Lincoln: Oh, congratulations.

Matt LeBlanc: Wow.

Merc Lapidus: Yeah, she's-she's pretty amazing. She's been working her ass off. For like the last six months, all I've heard is: "rape, rape, rape, rape, rape, rape." It's enough to make you wanna do it!

Jamie Lapidus: Honey...

Merc Lapidus: I'm kidding. Hey, if you don't laugh at this stuff, you cry.

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Merc Lapidus: [at the rape prevention event] Jamie's the co-chair of this whole thing.

Sean Lincoln: Oh, congratulations.

Matt LeBlanc: Wow.

Merc Lapidus: Yeah, she's-she's pretty amazing. She's been working her ass off. For like the last six months, all I've heard is "rape, rape, rape, rape, rape, rape." It's enough to make you wanna do it!

[chuckles]

Merc Lapidus: I'm kidding. Hey, if you don't laugh at this stuff, you cry.

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