Alaric Saltzman : Ohhh... Vampire for sure.
Damon Salvatore : It's Stefan for sure.
Alaric Saltzman : How do you know?
Damon Salvatore : It's his signature. There is a reason they called him the ripper. He feeds so hard he blacks out, rips them apart, but then when he's done, he feels remorse. It's the damnedest thing. He puts the bodies back together.
Alaric Saltzman : I am every parent's worst nightmare. I'm the chaperone teacher from hell.
Damon Salvatore : I love high school parties.
Alaric Saltzman : Isn't Andie supposed to be coming?
Damon Salvatore : 10:00 broadcast. She'll be here in a little bit.
Damon Salvatore : Hello, birthday girl.
Elena Gilbert : Drink.
[takes Damon's glass]
Elena Gilbert : Jeremy's smoking again.
Damon Salvatore : Is his stash any good?
Elena Gilbert : You're an ass.
Elena Gilbert : Talk to him, please. He looks up to you.
Damon Salvatore : [to Alaric] You're screwed.
Damon Salvatore : Andie wants me to pick her up.
Alaric Saltzman : Your fake, compelled girlfriend wants you to be a chivalrous boyfriend?
Damon Salvatore : Well, it's a complicated dynamic. Hold the fort down, will you?
Alaric Saltzman : You mean the fort full of my drunk history students?
Damon Salvatore : Drink more. It'll feel less weird.