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"The Vampire Diaries" The Birthday (TV Episode 2011) Poster

(TV Series)

(2011)

Quotes

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Alaric Saltzman: Ohhh... Vampire for sure.

Damon Salvatore: It's Stefan for sure.

Alaric Saltzman: How do you know?

Damon Salvatore: It's his signature. There is a reason they called him the ripper. He feeds so hard he blacks out, rips them apart, but then when he's done, he feels remorse. It's the damnedest thing. He puts the bodies back together.

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Alaric Saltzman: I am every parent's worst nightmare. I'm the chaperone teacher from hell.

Damon Salvatore: I love high school parties.

Alaric Saltzman: Isn't Andie supposed to be coming?

Damon Salvatore: 10:00 broadcast. She'll be here in a little bit.

[to Elena]

Damon Salvatore: Hello, birthday girl.

Elena Gilbert: Drink.

[takes Damon's glass]

Elena Gilbert: Jeremy's smoking again.

Damon Salvatore: Is his stash any good?

Elena Gilbert: You're an ass.

[to Alaric]

Elena Gilbert: Talk to him, please. He looks up to you.

Damon Salvatore: [to Alaric] You're screwed.

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Damon Salvatore: Andie wants me to pick her up.

Alaric Saltzman: Your fake, compelled girlfriend wants you to be a chivalrous boyfriend?

Damon Salvatore: Well, it's a complicated dynamic. Hold the fort down, will you?

Alaric Saltzman: You mean the fort full of my drunk history students?

Damon Salvatore: Drink more. It'll feel less weird.

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Elena Gilbert: All summer, every single time I came to you with a lead, you made me feel like an idiot for having hope.

Damon Salvatore: You were an idiot. We both were.

Elena Gilbert: Tell me what you know, Damon.

Damon Salvatore: I know you need to get back to your party, Elena.

Elena Gilbert: We're supposed to be in this together. Why didn't you tell me you've been tracking Klaus' victims?

Damon Salvatore: Because they're not Klaus' victims, Elena, they're Stefan's!

Elena Gilbert: What?

Damon Salvatore: He's left a trail of body parts up and down on the eastern seaboard.

Elena Gilbert: No. You're wrong.

Damon Salvatore: I've seen it happen before. He's flipped the switch, full blown ripper.

Elena Gilbert: Stop it, Damon.

Damon Salvatore: No, you stop it, Elena! Stop looking for him. Stop waiting for him to come home. Just stop! Stefan is gone and he's not coming back. Not in your lifetime.

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Klaus: You're back.

Stefan, Salvatore: Did you doubt me?

Klaus: Not for a second. I knew you'd pass the test. You still care for your brother, for your old life.

Stefan, Salvatore: I don't care about anything anymore.

Klaus: You put on a good show, Stefan. I almost believe you. Let's hope, for your brother's sake, he does. You never stop caring about family, do you? But every time you feed, the blood makes it easier to let go.

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Elena Gilbert: Don't worry, I'm not gonna lose it. At least, not before the cake.

Damon Salvatore: It's your party, you can cry if you want to.

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Elena Gilbert: I feel like I have to fight Damon every single time we get a lead on Stefan.

Tyler Lockwood: Maybe he doesn't want to find him.

Caroline Forbes: [warning] Tyler...!

Tyler Lockwood: What?

[to Elena:]

Tyler Lockwood: He's into you. Isn't he?

Elena Gilbert: The only reason Stefan left with Klaus... was so that he could save Damon's life. I mean, trust me, Damon wants to find him.

Tyler Lockwood: But you kissed him. Probably screwed with his head.

Caroline Forbes: Tyler!

[to Elena:]

Caroline Forbes: I'm sorry.

Elena Gilbert: Uh, don't worry about it. Look... Yes, I kissed him. But it was a...

[sighs]

Elena Gilbert: It was a goodbye kiss. I thought he was gonna die.

[scoffs, checks cell phone]

Elena Gilbert: Oh. I just missed a call from Bonnie. I'll be right back.

[goes off]

Caroline Forbes: [angrily, at Tyler] Just because I tell you things, doesn't mean you're allowed to know them!

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Matt Donovan: [as Tyler dances with his date] Since when are they a thing?

Caroline Forbes: I thought you were ignoring me.

Matt Donovan: I'm not ignoring you.

Caroline Forbes: Well, you've only said five words to me all summer. And those were four of 'em.

Matt Donovan: Maybe because every time I've seen you, you've been with him.

Caroline Forbes: Because he's my friend. Which was what I thought you were.

Matt Donovan: Aren't you guys supposed to be like mortal enemies? I mean, isn't that the way it works in the... vampire-werewolf universe?

Caroline Forbes: [doesn't want party-revelers to overhear] Matt, shh! What is wrong with you?

Matt Donovan: I don't know. I'm, uh... I'm out of it, I guess.

Caroline Forbes: Yeah.

Matt Donovan: Sorry.

[goes off]

Tyler Lockwood: [comes over with his blond date] What was that about?

Sofie: Great party, Caroline.

Caroline Forbes: Thanks. Now leave it.

[hypnotic glare, compelling her rival to obey]

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