Keith Lemon: The Film (2012) Poster

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1/10
Absolutely terrible throughout - we walked out after an hour
moore-rh27 August 2012
Nothing more to say - the worst film I have ever paid to see at the cinema.

We walked out after an hour.

We are both big fans of Celebrity Juice and were amazed at how bad this was.

Don't waste your money on it.

Came away feeling like we had been mugged!

IMDb says I need to write 10 lines but I really have nothing more to say about this appalling film. With this in mind I'll take the opportunity to remark on how well the London Olympic Games went - well done Britain!
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1/10
Bang UN-tidy
sean_oh_yeah25 August 2012
Without a doubt the worst film I have ever had the misfortune to spend my money on. From the trailer, I expected it to be pretty bad, but friends convinced me to go and it was one of the worst decisions I've made in a long time. Within 5 minutes I wanted to leave. But as I was with friends and had spent a total of £13.60, I swallowed back the vomit and forced myself to endure this mind-numbingly awful film. The "jokes", if you can even call them that, were immature and not even slightly clever, just some of the phrases Keith Lemon uses on Celebrity Juice thrown in randomly.

My girlfriend and I spent most of the film discussing who would be the one to shoot the other one in the face, before blowing their own brains out. It was horrible. A couple of cheap laughs, but I could have got that for free on YouTube. I think a couple of lucky people actually left during the film.

I just hope that I can watch Celebrity Juice again without horrifying flashbacks that will have me rocking back and forth in a pool of my own sick.
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1/10
Beyond bad - and also a little bit odd
bighands21214 September 2012
I went to see this film because I was fascinated.

I don't think I had ever seen such appalling reviews anywhere before. Every now and again you get a 0% score on rotten tomatoes but even then it's rare for everyone to actively hate a film in the way that people have hated this one.

Like a lot of people on here, I am a massive fan of Celebrity Juice and I just couldn't imagine that it could be that awful. Was there some kind of conspiracy? The answer is no. There's no conspiracy. It really is that bad. It's so bad that watching it gave me the kind of red neck that you get when something appallingly embarrassing is happening but there's nothing you can do about it. I couldn't look at the other patrons in the eye on the way out. It was like we'd all just watched sex with a domestic animal and now felt unbelievably ashamed. I don't know why I didn't walk out really - except that I wanted to say I had seen it, perhaps because I wanted to be able to review it fairly...

So anyway, it's bad film. I can try and write synonyms for bad but I think that others have probably done that better than I could here.

The reason I have created this profile to write this review is because I think there's something a little odd here on IMDb. Has anyone noticed the 10 star review by smr1-466-127649? 10 stars? No one could possibly give that film 10 stars. Not even a 12 year old who might well laugh at some of the more puerile stuff could possibly give it 10 stars.

Clicking on smr1-466-127649's profile we see that he has reviewed 2 films, both in the last 2 days, both hilarious revisions of two of the worst movies in the last 5 years. He gives Last Airbender 7 stars (OK he's not someone who gives awful movies 10 stars for the sake of it) and then goes on a rant about Keith Lemon and how much he's being victimised by people.

Surely the only person who can feel like this is someone associated with the production of the movie. On a day when E J Ellory is outed as having written reviews of his books on Amazon I do hope we're not seeing something similar here on IMDb.

Perhaps the most weird thing about this whole affair has been Leigh Francis's own reaction to the reaction. Scanning through a couple of episodes of CJ, it's clear that he thinks the film is really something. On his twitter account, he describes going to the premier (and actually watching that tripe with other human beings)as being "like a dream". (Fans of In Bruges will find this very funny.)More worryingly, he seems to demonstrate the kind of misogyny that his character Keith Lemon uses (presumably ironically) with his friends Wiloughby and Cotton on normal members of the viewing public - calling one girl who doesn't like him a "horse". Not cool. In addition to that, he goes into a kind of twitter strop, flouncing away for four days before coming back and abusing others who say that his film is awful.

I hope we're not seeing someone have a small breakdown over the critical reaction to his work. If so he needs to get a grip and accept that what he has produced is excrement. It's nasty, homophobic, small minded and if he thinks that Keith Lemon is the remotest bit sympathetic he needs to have a good think about his values in life. This is a terrible film and perhaps he would do well to acknowledge it somehow.
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1/10
Worst film I have ever seen
vandiesil-458-69015825 August 2012
I though I would never see a film as bad as Macgruber, but I was wrong. Keith Lemon The Movie, is the worst piece of "celluloid" I have witnessed.

As others have said, Celebrity Juice - Brilliant, but this film could actually lose Leigh Francis fans. The script lacks any direction and seems as if everything was ad lib'd but very poorly done. Leigh Francis should have spoken to Sacha Baron Cohen before doing this and consulted with him for the actual movie. SBC knows how to take a sketch character & create a film, Leigh Francis obviously doesn't. The celebrities in the film were not used as they should have been and some scenes were so predictable that I could have sat at home and imagined it exactly how it would pan out.

Best part of the film are the bloopers at the end and the star of the film is Nina Wadia (Mrs Mahsood from Eastenders). Without her character, the film would not have raised one single grin from me let alone a laugh.

If you pay money to see this film, do yourself a favour & give the cost of the tickets & popcorn to charity as it would be better spent!
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1/10
Glad I borrowed an unlimited card rather than paying!
georgematthews2325 August 2012
I went into this film with high hopes, and left with the thought in my disappointed mind that I'd never get that hour and a half back.

I'm a big fan of Leigh Francis (Keith Lemon) in everything else he does, for example 'Celebrity Juice' and 'Lemon La Vida Loca' so I was extremely surprised at how poor this feature actually was.

The plot was simply awful making little to no sense, and I usually find myself when watching 'Celebrity Juice' in an absolute trance of laughter but I must say I only slightly giggled maybe five times tops throughout this film. It's almost as if this film was made just for the sake of it, with the thought in Francis' mind that Lemon is so popular and successful he may as well try and get a feature film out of it while it lasts, that's exactly what it felt like for me.

As much as I love Keith Lemon, I think that this film was just a step too far. 'Celebrity Juice'- Hilarious. 'Lemon La Vida Loca'- Possibly too much but still fairly humorous. 'Keith Lemon: The Film- Just too much from the character that I now see as incredibly predictable.

If you want to stay a fan of Keith, DON'T WATCH THIS FILM. It may ruin your appetite for him. However if you have never seen anything with him before, see what you think. But if (understandably) you didn't like it, let me tell you. HIS OTHER SHOWS ARE SIGNIFICANTLY BETTER THAN THIS POOR EXCUSE FOR A FILM.
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1/10
Who allowed money to be wasted on this?
koriandr_star26 August 2012
This was a terrible movie from the word go, I went with a friend to see what it's all about and though the cinema was respectfully packed, it dwindled to almost complete 0. Only did it get an empty attendance when me and my friend left, giving up after 20 minutes. The sordid jokes, vomit etc, are reserved for sites like YouTube where frankly the style of quality of comedy in some self made videos are far superior to this.

It's not the first time that a British comedian has tried to make a movie about themselves but even Russell brand and 'boart' made their movie projects with some wit and writing that doesn't rely on running dead jokes and gags. For a movie it appears insultingly cheap from set, prop to cast.

And to show how desperate this movie is, they have a PR agency giving it a 'wonderful' review under the account 'thefleece2' It really is a sign of desperation or of bad ego to have your own team to self-review and exaggerate the quality of your own product.

What I don't understand is how money gets wasted on projects like this.

This is a strong contender for worst British film for this year and perhaps one of the worst of the year entirely.
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1/10
Shocking!!!!!!
facebooktelford26 August 2012
Wow...

This is the worst movie I've ever seen!!!

I'm a big fan of Keith Lemon and went to watch this film with an open mind but could not believe how shocking everything was.

The acting was cringe worthy throughout, storyline was even worst, it was like a cheap version of Austin powers with a script an 8 year old had put together at school.

We was going to leave cinema 20 minutes into the movie but thought things "might" improve, but unfortunately we were very wrong, the outtakes at the end of movie were better than the actual movie.

Be warned!!!!!!
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2/10
Couldn't have been much "worserererer"...
jason-harper-458-32051924 August 2012
Celebrity Juice - Brilliant, hilarious. Lemon Da Vida Loca - Very entertaining. Keith Lemon: The Film - Thoroughly disappointing.

From the opening scenes this "film" lacked comedy and creativity and just when it looked like it would get better it went on to nose dive even further. The storyline lacked originality and wasn't really in keeping with Lemon's character, and the heavy splashing of celebrities wasn't used to its' full potential.

We expected constant laughs, but comedy content was light and generally a repeat of what you see on the telly. The outtakes at the end were probably the highlight!

This is Keith Lemon in a bad film, not Keith Lemon being Keith Lemon. If you like Keith Lemon on the TV your time would be better spent watching Celebrity Juice re-runs on You Tube.
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1/10
wow...
darkness_is_your_ally24 August 2012
I had low expectations going into this film, yet I was hoping to be surprised as I usually enjoy watching celebrity juice and I know Leigh Francis can be funny. However bad expectations don't cut how bad this really was. To me, I see this film as a massive money grab of the whole teenage demographic, as this tends to be the character on TV that most adolescents are talking about and find hilarious on his panel show "celebrity juice". So the studios must have thought, "what should we do with a massive character on British Telly, I know, have him make a film that every one would empty their wallets to see on the big screen and we'll earn the box office a ton of money". This film has been purely made to take money, because if this were pitched as a serious film idea, without Keith Lemon being a famous character, this film would have (should have) been rejected because of how poorly written the script was. Most of the jokes (said verbally) are re-hashed from celebrity juice, for instance "bang tidy", "smash your back doors in" and "oooosh", but because I have heard it before, it has now just become repetitive and tiresome, and left me sighing each time the phrases were repeated. Right, next up, the acting, all the people cast in this film, were not actors! They were just famous people from British TV, who were either friends with Leigh, or put there, again, to attract more people to see it, and all the people who were actors in this film, (Kelly Brook, David Hasslehoff, Verne Troyer, Laura Aikman) either had a bad day at the office or they simply are not good enough actors to get roles in decent films, so they chose a poorly written, money grabbing film! Now we move onto the story, a predictable mess of unsatisfactory comedy, that at times I found myself wishing that certain scenes were cut from the movie, these were mainly scenes where we are meant to feel emotional for Keith, but no, I did not give a single care for this character, or any of the others for that matter. The gags fell flat, and were very predictable and frankly just an excuse to be crude, however a couple of jokes made me laugh for a few seconds, but nothing that flawed me, just stereotypes and bo'selecta references making me chuckle for a very short period of time. This film to me is a prime example of studios dumbing down films just to make money, and they don't need to because audiences are a lot more clever than they think, and instead of having a clever blockbuster to end the summer season, we get this atrocious mess of a film that has no pay off, no likable characters, awful soundtrack, bad actors, a terrible script, and a predictable story, 85 minutes was too long, please god may there not be a sequel. If you want good British humour, stick to the inbetweeners or peep show and forget all about this film. My screening, on day of release was very empty, and I hope it stays that way round the UK. You may have to see it to believe it, but you will be disappointed with this film, even if you are a fan of Keith Lemon.

Keith Lemon: The Film (2/10)
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As the mark out of 10 says - awful...
kgatehouse28 August 2012
Never before have I contemplated walking out of the cinema during a film, but during this one myself and the other 6 people I was with were very close to it. We didn't really know what to expect from it, but judging by previous reviews and looking at its 2.9/10 average rating, we should've lowered these expectations even further. The fact the screen was pretty empty should've also given us a clue, but unfortunately we'd already bought the tickets by then.

To all the people that have said "oh but this is what he's all about" or "that's his kind of humour", no. He's capable of much more than what he shows in this terrible, terrible 85 minutes. I read another review that said there was an age divide in the humour - our group spanned an age range of 16 to 45 and not one of us found it funny. It was just painful to watch, really. He was trying much too hard to build on his already beloved character and just made himself look really quite silly.

The only thing I'm pleased about with this film is that my local cinema only charges £2.50 a ticket, so it's not as if I had to break the bank to waste an hour and a half of my life... Would not recommend this film at all to anyone!!
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1/10
Worst movie I have ever seen
sara-mai24 August 2012
I left this movie gob-smacked! Who paid for it to be made ? Having wasted so much money would they refund my ticket price, please !! The opening titles indicated it was a British film. A British comedy, they can be really 'humourous'. This film totally failed to humour us. The laughter was from incredulity. The characters failed to develop, in fact decompose would be a better verb to describe what happened. The plot was so thin one would be able to operate a touch screen through it. The scenes that should have been funny were so repetitive they were painfully awful. I believe the audience who might find this film amusing are, thankfully, too young to see it. I am still reeling and unable to believe the amount of resources that have been sunk into this quagmire in order for it to go on general release. I cringed to even give it one star, 0 out of 10 would be a more accurate vote.
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1/10
Absolutely Atrocious
eyecandy201025 August 2012
This Film is terrible, there is nothing positive to say about this piece of trash. The Keith Lemon character (portrayed by Leigh Francis)has become such a sellout that I can no longer find anything he does amusing. Having watched and enjoyed a few episodes of Celebrity Juice and Lemon La Vida Loca, A group of friends and I decided to go to our local cinema and watch 'Keith Lemon: The Film'. We really wish we hadn't, the same old running gags become unfunny right away, as well as the over used catchphrases; "Smash your backdoors in" and "Finger Blasting" all becomes too familiar and again not funny. The cast is really bad as well as the painful to watch 'celebrity' cameos. The whole 'let's put David Hasselhoff in this, for a joke' has been a really annoying gag in rubbish movies. Hasselhoff is not funny! The cast is made of people whose careers have burned out.

It is very sad how this is such a pathetic movie, as Leigh Francis is actually a very talented man who actually has talent both as an actor and as a comedian. Unfortunately though, he has become to used to selling the character of Keith Lemon; Calenders, TV shows, Books, DVDs, Clothes and other sellout merchandise. Save yourself money and avoid this movie. You all are just as well to continue to watch Celebrity Juice, that is ONLY if you really need a fix of Lemon in your life.
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1/10
The worst 'movie' EVER made!!!
onekillickstoker27 August 2012
Wow! I never thought a movie could leave me speechless. I never thought a movie could make me want to find the person responsible for it's inception and kill them. I never thought a movie could make even the saint that is Phillip Schofield look bad. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, behold: Keith Lemon - The Movie is such a movie. There are not the words in the English - or any language to accurately describe how awful this movie is. It's not that it is bad - it is that it is SO bad! It defies belief! I mean, somebody actually had to read the script/screenplay and green light this pile of trash - let alone fund it! Avoid this movie like the plague because if you do not, you will never get back the eighty five minutes of your life that you have wasted on something that will make you wish that the medium of film had never been invented - Thomas Edison will be turning in his grave - you have been warned...
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1/10
Very poor worst film of year
ryantiplady29 August 2012
Ever since celebrity juice first started, I thought Keith lemon was funny and looked forward to watching his movie when it was announced. I paid £15 to go with friends to watch the film and after 5 minutes I wanted my money back and was desperate to leave. The writer did not actually attempt to put the film together, rather it was a rabble of cheap gags glued together with celebrities who did not look like they wanted to be there. The jokes were not funny, it was tasteless and especially the parts with Kelly Brook were cringe-worthy and immature. The storyline was non existent and basically it was a film that could have been put together by a bunch of amateurs. It says it all when Kelly brook said that she would not let her family see the film and she looked embarrassed when it was mentioned on the Jonathon Ross show recently where she was a guest. I had high hopes for this film but I am extremely disappointed and my opinion of Keith lemon has got me wondering whether I want to watch him when he returns to it2 for his new show. Do not watch this film if you value your money.
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1/10
Waste of money and time
mkjoffe27 August 2012
We saw this the night after the film was released and there seven people in the cinema, so word got around fast about just how good it was! Anyway, I can only comment on the first twenty minutes as we walked out after that.

This 'film' has no direction, no comedy, no quality or merit. It is puerile and a waste of cinema time. It serves only to remind any TV celebrity that the move from small screen to big screen is not an easy one. When we remarked on the quality of the film to the cinema staff they said they hadn't even seen it, because they had heard it was rubbish. Perhaps they could've done the decent thing and cancelled the showing after the first night.
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2/10
More Sh*t than Shating - hullfilmreview.webs.com
pspz27 August 2012
Warning: Spoilers
THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS!

When I first heard that Keith Lemon was getting his own film, I was quite excited. Leigh Francis' character Keith Lemon is somewhat of a guilty pleasure, and the excitement for his film was born from my love for ITV2's show Celebrity Juice, which although isn't the most intelligent show on television, it is crudely funny, and I guess something a teenager like myself is supposed to enjoy. My excitement was slightly dashed after the airing of 'Lemon La Vida Loca', which although mildly amusing, was a totally different side to the character, which had moved from real life interactions, to acting as a real life character.

My fears were confirmed as soon as the film started, as it was obvious the same 'reality acting' would be continued. Still, I wanted to give the film a chance since I was such a fan of Lemon, which started off with him in bed with Kelly Brook. To be honest, the plot of the full film was lackluster at best, which involved Keith, a struggling Leeds businessman, dropping his useless invention, for a phone that he rebranded the Lemon phone, going on to dominate the market, and subsequently lose the fortune he had earned. Although the film boasts plenty of B-list celebrities, the cast was disappointing with no actor standing out and celebrities not being used well.The whole film felt silly, and I made the comparison with 'The Mighty Boosh', especially the villain Evil Steve among other quirky comedy.

Amongst attempts at gross out comedy, the film was laden with overkill use of Keiths catchphrases so to speak - 'oush' seem to make it into most scenes, with 'finger blast', 'smash your back doors in' and 'morererer' also making regular appearances. One thing that annoyed me was a repeated misuse of his northern accent when counting, for example 'two and a 'alf', something I have never seen Lemon do before, and was neither funny nor witty.

To be fair however, the film wasn't laughless. A scene in a taxi with various spice girls, a running joke with Gary Barlow, Ronan Keating and Simon Pegg; and Keith and Paddy McGuiness' character in a strip club all raised a smiled. But this wasn't enough to save the film by any stretch of the imagination.

Overall, Keith Lemon: The Film was a huge disappointment, they took away the reality and shock from Lemon, the one thing that made him funny, and made Francis act, to a script that must take longer to read than it did to write, which left the character looking awkward and unfunny, and ultimately set the film up to fail. Before wasting your money on this, perhaps consider other films that are out, especially if you want to be entertained, unless a partially naked Kelly Brook is all you want to see.

http://hullfilmreview.webs.com/keith-lemon-the-film
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1/10
Absolutely horrific
abby-walton19946 September 2012
I don't ever write reviews, but I've made an exception for this film. It is, without a doubt, the worst film that I have ever seen in my life. I did not expect much from it from the trailers, but tried to go into it with an open mind. The entire film desperately attempts to revolve around crude humor, but takes it WAY too far and ends up being completely vile and foul. There was no originality or wit and the script was ridiculous and predictable in certain points. After about twenty minutes, I truly felt like I could not take any more of it so I attempted to have a nap next to my friend...who was already asleep from it.

Thank God it was Orange Wednesday and my ticket was half price...
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1/10
Wanted to walk out after 5 minutes
whitefire-408-54488225 August 2012
A comedy film can fail because of a bad script, poor acting, lack of original ideas or being devoid of humour. It hard to imagine a film that could contain all four of the above elements and still go on theatrical release but Keith Lemon-The Film has done just that. Right from the very beginning the viewer is introduced to the most obnoxious,disgusting lead character I have ever seen to grace a film screen and his presence is a torment throughout. The movie is a receipe of disgusting innuendo mingled with tasteless, grotesque sex scenes that would be repugnant to even the most liberal and open minded cinema-goer. The only relief one gets is when Lemon (played by Leigh Francis) is off- screen, which unfortunately is quite rare. The trailer of this movie is a work of art, managing to splice together the dozen celebrities who appear for only seconds in cameo roles, making a potential viewer believe that the film is worth a look. In reality these celebrities are merely picking up a paycheck for 5 seconds on screen. Bottom line is, there are no laughs, no memorable lines, no interesting scenes but low-brow humour and self-indulgence with a disjointed storyline.

I left the cinema wondering how many months training that a monkey would need to write a better script and you will too, if you decide to waste your hard earned money on this 85 minutes of sheer drivel.
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1/10
Where is Ali G When You Need Him?
fc_91730 August 2012
I was persuaded to go and watch this film by friends who like his TV show. I don't watch it so wasn't very sure what to expect but i knew it would be silly and crude.

Fast forward to 45 minutes in when we all leave as our brains had begun to melt! Cannot even begin to describe the awfulness of the acting, the so called 'jokes' and if I had to endure one more close up of Keith Lemon's orange face I might have tried to find some cyanide in a hurry.

All in all, please don't waste your money going to see this poor excuse for a film.

Instead I would advise you get some popcorn and read all the reviews of this film on here, they made me laugh way more!
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1/10
I want to give this a 0...
aliwoo226 August 2012
I love Celebrity Juice and I love Keith Lemon so I actually chose to see this film over Ted. It was pretty much a recycle of every joke and special appearance made on the show but it being scripted made it lose the hilarity- you know none of the reactions or comebacks are natural. (By the way I'm not dumb enough to think Celebrity Juice isn't partially scripted) It just seemed so forced. I didn't laugh once, it was actually painful. I tried so much to like it... I really tried. There wasn't one laugh in the whole film from the entire audience (albeit not completely full but still).

It is the only film ever where I have wanted to walk out repeatedly and the only film I have seen where I wanted to ask for my money back.

(Seriously regretting spending that £9.) Just don't do it. It's not even worth Orange Wednesday.

EDIT I know Keith Lemon is a character, how obnoxious to assume that I did not know. I referred to "Keith Lemon" specifically as it is the Leigh Francis character that I DO LIKE. I DO NOT LIKE his characters in Bo Selecta. (Much like I Like Sacha Boran Cohen as Borat and Ali G but NOT Bruno) Me failing to understand that (which I did not) did not lead me to fail to understand the film. There's really little to understand...
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2/10
Heard It All Before
ManchesterMatthew30 August 2012
The funniest thing about this movie has to be its trailer, which took all the best lines and scenes from the film, changed their order and context, and portrayed a very different movie to the one you end up watching.

The two main problems that I found with this movie is that for one thing, Leigh Francis's character of Keith Lemon is fundamentally unlikeable, and secondly, the entire cornerstone for any humour in it is based on catchphrases and jokes that any fan will already have heard a hundred times before.

During one of the many times that my mind wandered away, I wondered what the point of the film was. Was it meant to springboard the character to an international audience (hence the need to shoehorn in every catchphrase and joke ever uttered on Celebrity Juice to regions that might not have seen or heard them before), or was it a nod to existing fans (seeing as the whole film seemed to be done on a shoestring budget and couldn't possibly be considered a serious international contender).

And I still have no idea what the answer is, and therefore have no idea why this film exists at all.

The Keith Lemon character has been over-exposed on UK television for some time now, and I'm of the opinion that Leigh Francis is well aware of this fact himself, and decided to wring every last penny out of it rather than to come up with a new character or new material.

Seeing this film has only served to put me off Keith Lemon, to the point where the new series of Celebrity Juice (due to begin today) has gone from being a viewing highlight that I was looking forward to, to a case of "I'll give it one chance and if it gets on my nerves like the film did I'll stop watching entirely".

There's no need for a spoiler warning in this review because there's no film to spoil. There's very little in the way of acting, plot, script, pacing or storyline. It's just Keith Lemon rehashing everything you've heard before, except you're stuck in the cinema watching it and wishing you were somewhere else.

If you're a Keith Lemon fan - avoid. And if you're not - avoid it twice as hard.
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1/10
Worst film of 2012 to date
asorton25 August 2012
I have never walked out of a film in my life..... even this one but I came about as close as you can come this time.

I did not expect much from this film but could never have expected it to be so bad... every celebrity you can name was thrown in, I cant believe they could endorse such rubbish.

....... why cant I vote 0 out of 10?

I have never had a view on Keith Lemon before but now I do.... never again.

I have actually wasted 2 hours of my life on this trash....

.... never again don't to a keith lemon 2
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1/10
A Complete waste of existence.
The_moan_of_all_moans10 March 2014
IMDb should really introduce a rating of 0 as an option when casting your vote for a film. Because this diabolical abomination warrants it. It really does. It is utterly atrocious and in ways, sums up exactly what is wrong with the "Celebrity" entitlement that so many dreamers crave. That you could act like a complete imbecile and still have your own TV show or film. Could still make money and have your face on the big screen just because you speak with a foul mouth and broadcast an obsession with genitals. Its so sad to think that anyone would laugh at this film. That anyone would enjoy it. It has no class, no comical aspect whatsoever. And all the "celebrities" who crawl out the woodwork to get their faces in this film is shameful. A horror-show of a film; a complete waste of existence.

0/10
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1/10
Too much strawberry blonde and not enough juicy-ness!
richy102427 September 2012
There has always been a temptation for successful television series to have a stab at the big screen. Unfortunately, as many have tried notably all fail to reach the heights they cheered on broadcast television. There was of course the noteworthy astonishing success of The Inbetweeners, grossing over £45 million at the UK box office. E4's teenage bonanza was undeniably a surprise package. Its plot possessed a distinct relation to its audience and their lifestyle, refreshing memories of drunken unities on economical holidays abroad with your chums.

A year on and next in line to attempt the leap of uncertainty is Leigh Francis, with his ultra-successful character Keith Lemon, that of ITV2's Celebrity Juice. A similar audience barrier, similar purpose but a programme of distinct difference and quality done in a game show format. Celebrity Juice is quite simply massive in the UK, with various 'trendy' celeb names on board and the attendance of the female Ant & Dec it in Holly Willoughby and Fearne Cotton, i.e. Big Chest and Nostrils. Mr Lemon is charismatically known for his visualisation of clothing, 'strawberry' blonde locks, his raving Leeds accent, his flamboyancy and grotesque personality, groping his testicles as often as the assets of every female acquaintance he has on-set. Keith Lemon: The Film in essence consists of an alternation of these rudiments. The film is amateurish, poorly written and full of squeamish non-laughable habits that do not posses the same reaction they do on Lemon's enigmatic television series. The waves of hilarity are sadly non-existent on the full-size screen. The northerner's humour is flat, repetitive and bullied by too many sexual references.

Keith's journey begins on a dirty sheeted bed, full of sweat and a potato sandwich. He then quickly morphs into a multi-billionaire over night by 'inventing' a new mobile phone with a squishy lemon on the rear. To cut to the trimmings, the script takes us through a tasteless party of celebration, paradise jewels and Kelly Brook. Kelly's acting 'skills' have never gone without notification. Efforts in Three (2005) and most recently in Piranha (2010) were forty winks material and nothing more than another medium for the model to flash her figure at. The 33 year ought to stay in front of the lingerie camera than ruin her reputation with even more supplementary remarks of fury at her on-screen capabilities. Furthermore, Verne Troyer seems to have raised the squeak and David Hasselhoff needs to close the curtains. Short cameos from a number of celebrity faces can be recognised from their attendance on Lemon's TV collection but apart from those bothersome Irish twins, Jedward, the list of others seem too embarrassed to be associated with the movies existence.

Celebrity Juice will continue to flourish over the coming years, but once the programme adds itself to the endless list of witty slapstick TV schedule gap fillers, many would doubt Leigh Francis to create another lasting alternative to his current character. Francis will forever be documented as Keith Lemon, no matter how often he posed as Avid Merrion. The film is about as awful as La Vida Loca and Lemon's ghastly fitness DVD regimes. Save yourself the ticket and walk onto the next screen where you'll surely see the comparison between television and motion picture acting.
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2/10
Ouch. Probably the Worst British TV spin-off ever.
FlashCallahan20 December 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Ten years ago, Leigh Francis was funny. Bo Selecta came from nowhere and really degraded certain celebrities who were a little too big for their boots.

The show got cancelled, and then a new character came by. several series of a panel show later, we get a film, and it's really poor to say the least.

i knew it wasn't going to be anything special, just a love in with a lot of famous people (well to us Brits anyway) making nudge nudge wink wink references to the camera, with a little sub-plot, involving a new invention.

The trouble is, this sub-plot is stolen from The Jerk, the classic Steve Martin movie, and makes the whole thing pointless and un-original.

They even rip off the fault with the glasses from the original.

It's just a poor movie, harking back to those smutty seventies Carry on movies, and other movies like Holiday on the buses.

When Kelly Brook is the best thing about a movie, you start to worry. I would give this one star, but it made me laugh when Paddy Mcguinness stared at the camera and said 'See you in the Sequel'.

Delusional, but funny.

A horrid affair in every sense, with no redeeming features.
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