5.4/10
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Fresh Meat (2012)

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A dysfunctional gang of criminals takes a middle class Maori family hostage and discovers too late that they are cannibals.

Director:

Danny Mulheron

Writers:

Brad Abraham (story), Joseph O'Brien (story) | 1 more credit »
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2 nominations. See more awards »

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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
Temuera Morrison ... Hemi Crane
Kate Elliott ... Gigi
Hanna Tevita Hanna Tevita ... Rina
Nicola Kawana Nicola Kawana ... Margaret Crane
Kahn West Kahn West ... Glenn Crane
Leand Macadaan Leand Macadaan ... Ritchie
Ralph Hilaga Ralph Hilaga ... Paulie Tan
Jack Sergent-Shadbolt Jack Sergent-Shadbolt ... Johnny (as Jack Shadbolt)
Will Robertson Will Robertson ... Shaun Armstrong
Richard Knowles ... Officer Lance Nisbet
James Ashcroft ... Police Inspector Jimmy Katene
Andrew Foster Andrew Foster ... Officer Richard Gallup
Phil Grieve ... Strop
Thomas Rimmer Thomas Rimmer ... Wee Willy
Tim Mansell Tim Mansell ... Mr. Updike
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Storyline

A dysfunctional gang of criminals takes a middle class Maori family hostage and discovers too late that they are cannibals.

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

Taglines:

A Tasty Comedy

Genres:

Comedy | Horror

Certificate:

TV-MA | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

View content advisory »
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Details

Official Sites:

Official Facebook | Official site | See more »

Country:

New Zealand

Language:

English

Release Date:

25 October 2012 (New Zealand) See more »

Also Known As:

Carne tânãrã See more »

Filming Locations:

Wellington, New Zealand

Company Credits

Production Co:

The Gibson Group See more »
Show more on IMDbPro »

Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

Dolby Digital

Color:

Color
See full technical specs »
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Did You Know?

Quotes

Hemi Crane: We're not Maori cannibals, we're just cannibals who happen to be Maori.
See more »

Crazy Credits

No one was actually eaten in the making of this film. See more »

Soundtracks

Yeah Yeah Just Another Mistake
Written by Rolf de Borst (as R De Borst), Christian Livingstone (as C Livingstone), Phil Somervell (as P Somervell), Ben Cole (as B Cole)
Performed by The Datsuns
See more »

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User Reviews

 
A train wreck with few redeeming features...
28 October 2012 | by SmokeyTeeSee all my reviews

Racing away to a 8.3/10 you can tell that reviewers are unbiased and informed in their opinion of films. I mean what a fantastic addition to New Zealand cinema. Not.

Firstly respect to the filmmakers for the ballsiness of casting a slightly-too-old, definitely-not-hot-enough, white girl with a mousy mustache as the to-die-for, lesbian and, most significantly, Asian hit woman. WTF..?

Clearly they wanted the kind of clichéd Anime femme fatale that runs around in ridiculous outfits designed for over-sexed 14 year old Japanese girls. You know like the hench-woman with the ball and chain in Kill Bill... You know, like a Tarantino film...

Trouble is Tarantino is derivative pap anyway, so copying him recycling someone or something else is just lame.

The film has about two good lines of dialogue which will probably (sadly, only) resonate with New Zealanders...

Its a crass, clumsy film with lots of awful, clunky, sexual sight-gags and voyeurism that seem a little out of date for today. Confessions of a Window Washer or Alvin Purple era stuff... Two captive women having to untie each other by undoing each other's ropes with their mouths, while in a top-and-tail position - i.e 69ing. Obvious and cringe-worthy... there are many such moments where the intended audience reveals itself to be 14 year old males.

There were some small charms but the characters, excepting the heroine (who was quite good), were all dull as hell. Morrison had a bit of fun in his role but it would have been nice if they had given him the chance to earn the alignment of the audience before revealing himself a crazy cannibal (who happens to be Maori). Instead he was a boring villain.

There were no surprises and the film plodded along, apeing Tarantino as it went.

The film IS clearly trying hard to do 'Tarantino': for example Mariachi music scores a gunfight during a prison escape (actual police, never mind the prison guards, don't carry firearms in this country.

The son of Mr.Cannibal is probably the worst character in the film, there is no acting involved and he is just freaking dull. Apeing Mr.Blonde in Reservoir Dogs before he butchers people he puts his headphones on and has a boogie for the camera. This might have been 'cool' if he could dance or this wasn't done in Reservoir Dogs which these filmmakers really wish they had made. the actor is a flash in the pan with one music video out so this was clearly his music to film career cross over.

It's shame he has no talent for music, dance, or acting... otherwise he'd be the total package.

Missed opportunities abound. The dialogue is lazy. See it on $1 Tuesdays on DVD.

Choice.


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