This Ain't Star Trek 3 XXX: This Is a Parody (2013 Video)
Michael Vegas: Young Kirk
Dr. McCoy : [checks medical tricorder] No doubt about it, Jim, he's you.
[observes Young Kirk sneaking a peek up Nurse Chapel's skirt as she bends over to pick up a dropped instrument case]
Dr. McCoy : Well, you as an adult.
Young Kirk : I *am* an adult.
Captain Kirk : The jury's still out.
Young Kirk : I don't understand how this happened.
Dr. McCoy : Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a physicist!
Captain Kirk : ...mechanic?
Young Kirk : Yours does this, too?
Captain Kirk : All the time.
Young Kirk : You ready to go home?
Captain Kirk : The ship is brand new. Your laws of physics make no sense. You got a crew of sexy twentysomethings... fuck like rabbits. Who wouldn't want to leave?
Young Kirk : Good. Glad to hear it.
Ambassador Robert April : When an officer of the line leaves your ship, it is customary to show them the way to the transporter pad by going first.
Young Kirk : I knew that! Captain Kirk, may I invite you onto my transporter so I can get you the hell offa my ship, and back to where you came from?
Captain Kirk : I don't think so.
[signals Scotty to activate the transporter]
Young Kirk : Dude, no fuckin' way. This sucks!