Captain America: Civil War (2016)
Robert Downey Jr.: Tony Stark, Iron Man
Iron Man : [after witnessing Scott transform into Giant-Man] Okay, anybody on our side hiding any shocking and fantastic abilities they'd like to disclose? I'm open to suggestions.
Tony Stark : Got a passport?
Peter Parker : [chuckling] Um, no. I don't... I don't even have a driver's license.
Tony Stark : You ever been to Germany?
Peter Parker : No.
Tony Stark : Oh, you'll love it.
Peter Parker : I can't go to Germany!
Tony Stark : Why?
Peter Parker : I got... homework.
Tony Stark : Alright, I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that.
Tony Stark : All right, I've run out of patience. "Underoos!"
[webbing comes down, grabs Cap's shield and cuffs his hands. Spider-Man lands on a nearby truck holding Cap's shield]
Tony Stark : Nice job, kid!
Spider-Man : Thanks! Well, I could have stuck the landing a little better. It's just, new suit... wait, it's nothing, Mr. Stark. It's... it's perfect, thank you.
Tony Stark : Yeah, we don't really need to start a conversation.
Spider-Man : Okay.
Spider-Man : Cap... Captain? Big fan. Spider-Man.
Tony Stark : Yeah, we'll talk about it later. Just...
Spider-Man : [waves] Hey, everyone.
Tony Stark : Good job.
Tony Stark : [Tony is wounded, Steve and Bucky are leaving] That shield doesn't belong to you. You don't deserve it! My father made that shield!
[Steve drops shield]
[while talking to Steve Rogers, Tony Stark notices Bucky Barnes still pointing his rifle at him]
Tony Stark : Manchurian Candidate, you're killing me. We're on a truce. Put the gun down.
Tony Stark : [to Peter Parker, about Aunt May] You know, I'm having a hard time believing she's someone's aunt.
Tony Stark : Hey, you wanna see something cool? I pulled something from Dad's archives. Timely. FDR signed the Lend-Lease bill with these in 1941. Provided support to the Allies when they needed most.
Steve Rogers : Some would say it brought our country closer to war.
Tony Stark : Steve, if not for these, you wouldn't be here. I'm trying to, what do you call it, a... an olive branch. Is that what you call it?
Steve Rogers : Is Pepper here? I didn't see her.
Tony Stark : We are kinda... well not kinda...
Steve Rogers : Pregnant?
Tony Stark : No, ha, definitely not. We're taking a break. It's nobody's fault.
Steve Rogers : I'm so sorry, Tony. I didn't know.
Tony Stark : A few years ago I almost lost her so I trashed all my suits. Then we had to mop up Hydra. Then Ultron, my fault. And then, and then, and then. I never stopped. 'Cause the truth is I don't wanna stop. I don't wanna lose her. I thought maybe the Accords can split the difference. In her defense, I'm a handful. Yeah dad was a pain in the ass, but he and mom always made it work.
Steve Rogers : You know, I'm glad Howard got married. I only knew him when he was young and single.
Tony Stark : Oh really? You two knew each other? He never mentioned that. Maybe only a thousand times. God, I hated you.
Steve Rogers : I don't mean to make things difficult.
Tony Stark : I know. Because you're a very polite person.
Steve Rogers : If I see a situation pointed south, I can't ignore it. Sometimes I wish I could.
Tony Stark : No, you don't.
Steve Rogers : No, I don't. Sometimes...
Tony Stark : Sometimes I wanna punch you in your perfect teeth. But I don't wanna see you gone. We need you, Cap. So far nothing's happen that can't be undone. Please, sign. We can make the last 24 hours legit. Barnes gets transferred to an American psych center instead of a Wakandan prison.
Steve Rogers : I'm not saying it's impossible. But there would have to be safeguards.
Tony Stark : Sure! Once we put out the PR - they're documents. They can be amended. I file a motion, have you and Wanda reinstated...
Steve Rogers : Wanda? What about Wanda?
Tony Stark : She's fine. She's confined in the compound currently. Vision's keeping her company.
Steve Rogers : Oh God, Tony! Every time. Every time I think you're seeing things the right way...
Tony Stark : It's a 100 acres with a lap pool. It's got a screening room. There's worse way to protect people. She's not a US Citizen and they don't grant visas to Weapons of Mass Destruction.
Steve Rogers : Protection? Is that how you see this? This isn't protection, it's internment, Tony. Come on, she's a kid!
Tony Stark : Gimme a break! I'm doing what has to be done, to save us from something worse.
Tony Stark : Why are you doing this, huh? What's your MO? I've got to know, what gets you out of that twin bed every morning?
Peter Parker : Because... because, I've been me my whole life, and I've had these powers for six months. I read books, I build computers, and I would love to play football, but I couldn't then so I shouldn't be able to now...
Tony Stark : Right, because you're different
Peter Parker : Yeah, but I can't tell anybody that, so I'm not.
Peter Parker : When you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen? They happen because of you.
Tony Stark : [after Rhodes is attacked, to Steve] I was wrong about you. The whole world was wrong about you.
Lt. Col. James Rhodes : Secretary Ross has a Congressional Medal of Honor, which is one more than you have.
Sam Wilson : So let's say we agreed to this thing. How long is it gonna be before they lojack us like a bunch of common criminals?
Lt. Col. James Rhodes : 117 countries wanna sign this. 117, Sam, and you're just like, "Nah, it's cool."
Sam Wilson : How long are you gonna play both sides?
Vision : I have an equation.
Sam Wilson : [sarcastically] Oh, this'll clear it up.
Vision : In the 8 years since Mr. Stark announced himself as Iron Man, the number of known enhanced persons has grown exponentially. And during the same period, a number of potentially world-ending events has risen at a commensurable rate.
Steve Rogers : Are you saying it's our fault?
Vision : I'm saying there may be a causality. Our very strength invites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict... breeds catastrophe. Oversight... Oversight is not an idea that can be dismissed out of hand.
Lt. Col. James Rhodes : Boom!
Natasha Romanoff : Tony? You are being uncharacteristically non-hyperverbal.
Steve Rogers : That's 'cause he's already made up his mind.
Tony Stark : Boy, you know me so well. Actually, I'm nursing an electromagnetic headache. That's what's going on, Cap. It's just pain. It's discomfort. Who's putting coffee grounds in the disposal? Am I running a Bed and Breakfast for a biker gang?
[puts phone on table, screen pops up]
Tony Stark : Oh, that's Charles Spencer, by the way. He's a great kid. Computer engineering degree, 3.6 GPA. Had a floor-level gig, an intel plan for the fall. But first he wanted to put a few miles on his sole before he parked it behind a desk. See the world, maybe be of service. Charlie didn't wanna go to Vegas or Fort Lauderdale, which is what I would do. He didn't go to Paris or Amsterdam, which sounds fun. He decided to spend his summer building sustainable housing for the poor. Guess where: Sokovia. He wanted to make a difference, I suppose. I mean, we won't know because we dropped a building on him while we were kickin' ass... There's no decision-making process here. We need to be put in check! And whatever form that takes, I'm game. If we can't accept limitations, we're boundaryless, we're no better than the bad guys.
Steve Rogers : Tony, if someone dies on your watch, you don't give up.
Tony Stark : Who said we're giving up?
Steve Rogers : We are if we're not taking responsibility for our actions. This document just shifts the blame.
Lt. Col. James Rhodes : Sorry, Steve, that... that is dangerously arrogant. This is the United Nations we're talking about. It's not the World Security Council, it's not S.H.I.E.L.D., it's not Hydra.
Steve Rogers : No, but it's run by people with agendas and agendas change.
Tony Stark : That's good! That's why I'm here. When I realized what my weapons were capable of in the wrong hands, I shut it down. Stopped manufacturing.
Steve Rogers : Tony, you *chose* to do that. If we sign this, we surrender our right to choose. What if this panel sends us somewhere we don't think we should go? What if there's somewhere we need to go and they don't let us? We may not be perfect but the safest hands are still our own.
Tony Stark : If we don't do this now, it's gonna be done to us later. That's the fact. That won't be pretty.
Wanda Maximoff : You're saying they'll come for me.
Vision : We would protect you.
Natasha Romanoff : Maybe Tony's right. If we have one hand on the wheel, we can still steer. If we take it off...
Sam Wilson : Aren't you the same woman who told the government to kiss her ass a few years ago?
[from Super Bowl trailer]
Tony Stark : You chose the wrong side.
Tony Stark : We need to be put in check. Whatever form that takes, I'm game.
Tony Stark : If we don't do this, it will be done to us.
Captain America : All right, Sam. What's the play?
Falcon : We need a diversion. Something big.
Ant-Man : I got something kinda big. But I can't hold it very long. On my signal, run like hell. And if I tear myself in half, don't come back for me.
Bucky Barnes : He's gonna tear himself in half?
Captain America : You sure about this, Scott?
Ant-Man : I do it all the time. I mean, once. In a lab. Then I passed out. I'm the boss, I'm the boss, I'm the boss. I'm the boss!
Spider-Man : [Ant-Man becomes giant] Holy shit!
War Machine : [Ant-Man laughs and grabs War Machine] Okay, tiny dude is big now. He's big now.
Captain America : I guess that's the signal.
Falcon : Way to go, Tic Tac!
Iron Man : Give me back my Rhodey.
Iron Man : [giant ant-man holding Rhodes] Let go of my rhodey!
Iron Man : My left arm is numb. Is that normal?
Black Widow : Maybe Tony's right. If we have one hand on the wheel, we can still drive. If we take it off...
Sam Wilson : Aren't you the same woman who told the government to kiss her ass a few years ago?
Black Widow : I'm just... I'm reading the terrain. We have made some very public mistakes. We need to win their trust back.
Iron Man : Focus up. I'm sorry... did I just mishear you or did you just agree with me?
Black Widow : Oh I want to take it back now.
Iron Man : No, no no. You can't retract it.