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Michael Hoffman Jr.
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Ever since the Seminole Wars of the mid nineteenth century, an unlucky few have gone missing in the Florida Everglades every couple of years, especially around Columbus Day Weekend. "Bikini Swamp Girl Massacre" is based on a true story told by the lone survivor of a group of beautiful young women who left the concrete jungle of South Beach to venture deep into the Everglades jungle, where they were brutally murdered by a Seminole warrior spirit named Coowahchobee. As the women go missing one by one, and the seemingly innocent tour guide denies foul play, one brave beach bunny risks her life to escape alone in the jungle knowing that she is safer with the snakes and alligators then at camp with Coowahchobee.Written by
Preparing for a camping trip, an all-girl group of friends heads into the Florida Everglades for a special tour of the area only to run afoul of a vengeful Native American spirit intent on making them pay for trespassing on his land and must fend off the crazed attacks to escape alive.
This was a rather decent enough slasher. One of the few positives here is the rather joyful glee that accompanies the majority of the attacks here, which is pretty common throughout the film. Setting up the idea of the crazed Indian who offers up plenty of confrontations with the group allows this one to partake in some rather fun encounters with him out in the swamplands attacking and hacking up the girls in brutal ways. The gore in these scenes are quite brutal in concept yet lamely realized in execution, yet the manic intensity and over-the-top glee with these scenes are infectious enough to make this interesting, as well as allowing this one to maintain a fine pace to be entertaining enough to keep going. Along with the fine nudity on display, these are what hold it up over the film's flaws. Among the many negatives here is the rather low-budget nature of what's presented here. There's very little here that looks natural or realistic, from the laughable gore and stalking scenes that waste the opportunity to have some suspense in the Indian's sudden attacks to the completely illegal way it appears they just filmed the whole film in one location. It's all quite obvious that this was filmed in such a manner which causes this to look completely patently fake and gives this such a cheesy atmosphere with the near impossible manner to have the events here come off as reasonable or logical. As well, the other flaw here is the rather comical and over-the-top killer who's so impossible to take seriously that it might borderline on dull rather than frightening. Not only is the rampage completely underdeveloped with stories changing depending on who's talking about the killer, but the way it manages to warp around the killing methods seem just too outlandish for the type of film conceived which allows this to become excruciating more than anything. Not only does it have a completely comical look but an irritating killer which isn't the best way to make a slasher effort and is what really keeps this one down.
Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Language, Graphic Violence and Nudity.
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