The siblings congratulate Greg after word spreads that he stood up to Joan for passive-aggressively questioning Jen's parenting skills. Also, Chad insists on having one last meal with Colleen's grandmother before heading off to jail, Matt and Greg discourage Tim from beating John at a round of golf and Sophia gets a peanut stuck up her nose.
Tim and Heather unintentionally make things incredibly awkward for Tyler when he brings his gorgeous new girlfriend, Clementine, to meet the family. Also, Matt and Colleen are caught canoodling at the office by their obnoxious co-worker, Will, Jen and Greg vow not to become germaphobes, and John buys Sophia a cell phone behind her parents' backs.
When Matt and Colleen catch Chad trying to kidnap her beloved pup, Princess, Chad uses the opportunity to pitch them his new business venture. Also, Jen and Greg try to be intimate for the first time since having a baby, Heather "breaks up" with her longtime hairstylist, Lynette, and Tim ruins Samantha's birthday party.
When Jen and Greg interview potential nannies for Lark, they find it difficult to find one they trust. Also, Tim, Matt and Greg go camping, Heather suspects Matt bought Colleen earrings with money she loaned him, and John makes a wooden puppet for Lark that the family has more fun playing with than she does.
Joan invites their recently widowed neighbor, Gary Timpkins, to Thanksgiving dinner, during which everyone has a bad reaction to Colleen's cauliflower dish. Also, Tim and Sophia try to find a last-minute replacement for Heather's spoiled turkey, Jen and Greg debate who to name as Lark's godparent and John takes Samantha to the Harvest Festival, where she sneaks into the corn maze with her boyfriend.
Greg is still bitter over an accident that sidelined a competitive game of ping-pong he and Matt had started years ago, so they decide to finally settle the score. Also, Heather questions herself after urging Tim to get a vasectomy, Jen is stressed about returning to work, and Joan learns her credit card has been stolen after strange packages start arriving.
Colleen joins John and his Air Force buddies for his annual tradition of dirty Christmas caroling. Also, Joan tries to hijack Lark's first Christmas from Jen and Greg, Samantha gets lice from a mall Santa, and Tyler announces his plans for college.