Postman: Good morning, madam! Ah, and a good morning it is indeed! For, you see, today is the day when progress arrives in this charming little town of yours! Now, let me steal a few moments of your time to introduce to you the novel concept that is the postal service...
[the door slams in his face]
Postman: [greets a little girl] Awww, aren't you the cutest little thing! Tell me, sweetie, is your mommy home?
[the girl sets her dog on him]
Postman: [narrating] It's been 176 days, a hundred and seventy-six days since I arrived in this godforsaken place in the middle of nowhere. "All you have to do," they said, "is set up a working post office over there, and return home a conquering hero . Piece of cake." HAH! What they did not mention is that the civilized concept of written correspondence is completely wasted on these savages. So here I am, trapped forever in this inhospitable pit of a town, with no hope of ever escaping. I need something big, something extraordinary, some miracle that will get these people to start writing some letters. Yeah, it's gonna take nothing short of a miracle...
Postman: [looks around a toy workshop] Hello?
[Klaus growls behind him]