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"Scream Queens" Blood Drive (TV Episode 2016) Poster

(TV Series)

(2016)

Quotes

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[first lines]

Cathy Munsch: [holding up a blood bag] This is a normal pint of blood.

[holding up a different bag]

Cathy Munsch: This is a pint of blood I just tried to give a patient with hemolytic anemia. As you can see, has a little mouse in it. And this one... has a bunch of coins at the bottom. Clearly, the only blood at this hospital is blood spilled by the Green Meanie that has been mopped up and put back into bags.

Chanel #3: Sorry. That's on me. I've just gotten really into recycling lately, and instead of just dumping all these patients' blood into the swamp like everything else, I thought it'd be nice if that patient's blood could have a... second life, pumping through the hearts and boners of all the neediest patients at this hospital.

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Chanel Oberlin: [to Dean Munsch] Can you please stop flirting with Dr. Brock as if he had sex with you for any reason other than the fact that he was sad about me and you were the closest semi-damp orifice?

[to Brock]

Chanel Oberlin: Thank you for letting me be the one to draw your blood, Brocky. You know every drop counts towards the competition, and I really want to win so we can go on our romantic, all expenses paid vacation to Blood Island.

Dr. Brock Holt: Now, have you done any research on this place? Because it doesn't sound very romantic.

Cathy Munsch: Oh, I'm sure you'll be fine. I mean, clearly, you're a risk taker, Brock. And millennials like Chanel here, they live in a post-AIDS world. Most of them just assume they're gonna get HPV, herpes, or the clap.

Chanel Oberlin: Excuse me, but I am perfectly clean.

Cathy Munsch: Honestly, Brock, I think you're safer putting your penis in a land mine or a wood chipper than having sex with Chanel.

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Chanel Oberlin: What are you doing standing over my bed with a knife watching me sleep?

Hester Ulrich: I'm bored sitting around this apartment all day! Why don't you guys have any cable?

Chanel Oberlin: We're millennials. No one has cable. That still doesn't answer my question about your standing over my bed with a knife!

Hester Ulrich: I told you, I'm bored. When I get bored, I start to think of ways of how to murder people! If you don't give me something useful to do with my time here, at least one person in this house is gonna die.

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Dr. Brock Holt: [hearing Chanel's scream] What happened?

Chanel Oberlin: Wha...?

Dr. Brock Holt: Oh, my god. This poor girl... wait, who is she again?

Chanel Oberlin: Chanel #9 or 10 or 11. I don't know. At a certain point, you just lose count.

Dr. Brock Holt: Well, why'd you hook her up to all these blood bags? This is weird.

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Cathy Munsch: I heard screaming!

[seeing one of the Chanels dead]

Cathy Munsch: Damn it! You know, at some point, this swamp is gonna be, like, 90% dead bodies.

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Chanel Oberlin: Chanel #9 was my patient, right? Well, it looks like she gave about two dozen bags of blood, which means I am back in the lead, which means we are going our romantic, luxurious, all expense paid vacation to Blood Island!

Dr. Brock Holt: No. A, you're going to Blood Island alone, because I'm still creeped out about those STDs, and two, aren't you a little upset that your friend just got murdered?

Chanel Oberlin: [indifferently] Meh.

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