Cats (2019) Poster

(2019)

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1/10
Combating online piracy
macrev-5735824 December 2019
Hollywood's new way of combating online piracy. Make movies no one wants to watch.
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1/10
This is what the people in Birdbox saw.
mariamelkott23 December 2019
Warning: Spoilers
My friends wanted to see this and out of pure curiosity i went with them . Now i have fewer friends. The cgi is a nightmare. The plot is non existent. And they used Taylor as a promotion tool and she appeared in the movie for like 10 minutes.
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1/10
I wish I could score this less than 1 star
michaelely-0162722 December 2019
This movie reminds me of that scene from Jurassic Park where Jeff Goldblum says "You were so preoccupied with whether or not you could, you never bothered to ask if you should." This was hands down the most disturbingly awful movie I have ever seen. Whoever greenlit this should never be in charge of the light ever again. How dare they do this to me?!? Please don't go see this movie. And if you do, may God have mercy on your soul.
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1/10
This is what I see during sleep paralysis
mghtysauc327 December 2019
My own cat looks at me in shame now. This film has singlehandedly destroyed my relationship with my pet.
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1/10
This is why North Korea hates us
hook033126 December 2019
I've never seen a film that made me want to place my own cats up for adoption until now. Words cannot express how awful this truly was.
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1/10
It's really not that bad once you close your eyes!
azabeni27 December 2019
You must never open them though. Otherwise you will never see your cat the same way again.
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1/10
From a HUGE Cats fan... this was an utter DISGRACE
morgo-2866524 December 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Cats is my absolute favorite musical. I've watched the stage production four times and the 1998 film probably over 100 times at this point. I love musicals and am a huge fan of Tom Hooper's Les Miserables. But this. This was an absolute DISGRACE.

Cats is an opera, so there should not be talking. Cats is a ballet, so there should actually be dancing. Casting big names for this show was a horrible mistake when they were unable to sing and dance, in a show that is ALL about singing and dancing. Taylor Swift's cat, Bombarlarina, should be pink, not an orange tabby. She was also in like 10 min when this cat is one of the MAIN CHARACTERS. The cat Rebel Wilson plays is a TAP DANCER. This didn't happen. Old Dueteronomy is a male baritone cat (literally the FATHER OF ALL THE CATS. It says it in the song!!) Dame Judi Dench, although lovely, was the most horrid rendition of Old Deuteronomy I've ever seen. Why was Mistofelees a coward and afraid to do magic? What even happened to the choreography at the JELLICLE Ball? The song was like 2 min! This is just the tip of the iceberg. I could go on for DAYS!

I know there is a lot of talk about "fixing" some of the CGI and releasing a new version, but honestly, I don't know what they expect to fix. The CGI was not the worst part. The lack of actually musical talent was, in other words, the entire movie needs to be remade with real broadway performers.

I can go on and on about what was wrong with the specific cats and musical numbers, but my review would likely be more than 50 pages. I only recommend that you see this movie to have your own opinion about the horribleness. And then you can go see the national touring cast and all hope will be restored.
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Staring at a wall is a far better use of your time.
fudgenuts10125 December 2019
There is a wall in my house. The wall is a simple wall, eight feet tall, and fifteen feet wide, it sits in a corner in the basement. It has been painted beige, with a few coats to cover up the bumps and scratches from coats before. It's got it's idiosyncrasies, the way the light jumps off the paint, the not so even drywalling underneath. Stare at it long enough, and it begins to speak to you - or at least allow you to speak to it. Maybe there's something to the wall - or maybe it's just my romantic illusions of inspiration and contemplation that bring life to it. My point is this - staring at that blank wall for two hours is far more inspiring, interesting and enlightening than watching even just two minutes of the cinematic colonoscopy that is "Cats." A film so awful, so ridiculous and so void of substance its very existence is an affront to musicals, film and theatre. Unless you're a fan of 'so bad it's good' cinema, stay away. This is a watershed moment in bad movie history.
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1/10
Worst Movie I Have Ever Seen
sjreid200321 December 2019
Sorry to pile on, but in my 55 years I have never walked out of a movie until now. We had high hopes, we love musicals, but good lord, this was awful on every level.
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1/10
why
pcord-2245026 December 2019
I used to be a wholeheartedly christain mother. I then watched this movie and became an atheist. No loving god would put us on a planet with the likes of this.
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1/10
Should be considered as a crime against humanity
nxescii25 December 2019
Honestly I wish I was joking. Just everything was completely terrible. James Corden was cripplingly awful but that's nothing particularly surprising. Leaving the cinema I'd felt as if my soul had been sucked dry. Avoid at all cost.
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1/10
Love reading the reviews!
azkazulfakhairina30 December 2019
Grabbing popcorns; not during watching this movie but during reading the reviews.
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1/10
I Prayed For The First Time in Decades. What a disaster.
jerseypiper7725 December 2019
I'm not a praying man, but I was praying so hard for this movie to end. From the fist minute, I knew this movie was going to be a disaster. What a waste of talented actors.
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1/10
What were they thinking?
tarodgers-7724521 December 2019
I...it just...I can't....I...I got nothing.

Theatre is theatre for a reason.
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1/10
Cats is the worst movie of the decade.
joystick5323 December 2019
My body and soul was not ready for what I just witnessed.
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1/10
Strong contender for the worst film ever made
andrewsk85 January 2020
In 25 years this film will have a weird cult following, and an aged James Franco will make a "meta" film about it. Until then, it will remain universally regarded as an utter shambles.
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1/10
The best horror movie since 2018's Hereditary.
irishboy14124 December 2019
This film is truely a masterpeice in unintentional horror. The effects are so special I'm going to have nightmares for weeks to come. Why they didn't just dress the actors in costumes and makeup I have no idea, either the filmmakers are lazy or someone wanted to push the boundries of visual effects. Cats pushes those effects right off a cliff into the uncanny valley. The design and look is freakin disgusting.

I never saw the stage musical, so I didn't know what I was in for. This movie that has no plot, it's just a bunch of random cats introducing themselves. I tried to enjoy it as a so-bad-it's-good cringefest, but the lack of plot and the terrible effects make it impossible.

If you can't even look at the screen without feeling annoyed & disgusted, it's impossible to enjoy it in anyway.

Thanks Tom Hooper.
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1/10
Keep a good stack of holy water around if you wanna watch it.
kamranRa21 December 2019
This is what Dante saw in one of his dreams. also this is traumatizing for children so if you are 22 or older go watch it.
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1/10
My eyes! 😣
dtlacey7820 December 2019
Not entirely sure what I just witnessed but man, that was.......weird. Went in hoping it was gonna be so bad it was good but alas it was so bad it was just plain awful. Self-indulgent & oddly even the A-list cast seemed terrible. Kids will love it no doubt, grown-ups not so much.
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1/10
I give up
AaronKyle199820 December 2019
I cannot believe I actually payed money to watch this horrid mess. My eyes burn and my soul feels like it's being ripped out by the devil himself. Absolutely nothing including Judi Dench and Idris Elba didn't help this film from being a total piece of garbage. Almost every scene is unbearable and the ending result is one of the worst films of the decade.
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1/10
Every 10 star is a bot
miesperuna29 December 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Horrible movie. Can't say anything else. They failed with everything in this one. Don't waste your money on this.
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1/10
Load of rubbish
barawlings-5653220 December 2019
Not a lot more I can add to the reviews that have already been written. The directors obviously thought that by throwing a load of A list actors at this it would somehow make up for it's short comings. James Corden was terrible (as usual).
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2/10
A disastrous show of pompous and inconsequential gibberish, garish visuals and tedious storytelling
themadmovieman21 December 2019
I've got nothing against movie musicals, director Tom Hooper, or even anybody who's a part of making this film. But goodness me, Cats is an absolute monstrosity. Garish, non-sensical, boring and everything in between, it's a pompous and pointless musical that plays out with barely a redeeming feature, proving one of the most unbearable cinema experiences I've had in a very long time.

While I haven't been a big fan of Hooper's work in the past, particularly Les Misérables, Cats pales in comparison to anything the director has made before, failing on all levels in its pathetic attempts to provide even a semblance of fun, magical theatre, and instead staggering along through its repetitive and frankly tedious story on its way to a terrible ending that can't come soon enough.

There's nothing positive I have to say about this movie. Les Misérables, for all its faults, at least had a degree of spectacle, emotion and drama, whereas Cats is little more than an experiment gone wrong: a horrifying Frankenstein's monster that attempts to blend modern cinematic techniques with classic West End storytelling.

First, the visual effects are extremely offputting. Whether it's the uncanny CGI human/cat-like figures, the inconsistent and distracting scaling and sizing issues, or even the plasticky, garish look of the whole film, Cats is a really unpleasant spectacle. And for all of the technical expertise that clearly went into pulling it off, it all feels squandered on a misguided and painfully showy movie.

Next, Hooper's directing is jagged and meandering throughout. While the screenplay is hardly a work of art, Cats lacks even the slightest bit of show-stopping stage energy, symptomatic of direction that leaves the film wandering aimlessly right the way through.

Hooper's visual style is uninspiring and unimaginative, the musical and dance numbers are repetitive and dull, and even the biggest, best dramatic set-pieces are completely missing any sort of real presence, instead just fading into the movie's jarringly inconsistent structure.

The pacing is a massive problem throughout, as the film shirks the need for even a basic three-act structure in exchange for a horribly repetitive yet still inconsistent layout. Basically, for two hours, it goes like this: Dialogue, mini song, big musical number. Dialogue, mini song, big musical number. And repeat. Again and again and again.

In that, Cats proves so boring, so predictable, and clearly so without life that it's happy to just sit and move you from one musical number to the next. A great movie musical should organically blend song and dialogue, with each complementing the other with the goal of developing the story wherever possible.

Cats is so aimless and repetitive, that the pathetic excuse for a story barely seems to move at any point. Instead, it's just a vehicle for big West End musical numbers on the big screen, all built up to in jarring fashion that makes each song more awkward than the last.

That story, too, is almost unbearable throughout. I won't pass judgment on the original stage show, but in the case of this film, the plot is non-sensical, the characters uninteresting, the screenplay unfocused, and the emotion painfully superficial.

A little bit of fantasy is fine by me, but when a film is constantly repeating its fantasy mumbo-jumbo about cats being sent to heaven or something or other, it gives no incentive to keep watching, worsened by a total lack of character focus or even a consistent main lead.

Francesca Hayward plays the young, new cat to join the tribe, so you'd think that she would be the main focus for the story. However, the movie is so distracted by trying to cram in as many A-listers and side characters as possible that the whole thing feels like an endless meet-and-greet, still introducing new characters deep into the latter stages, and not even giving a second to let Hayward's cat take centre stage.

There's no story because it barely gets going. For what feels like an hour and a half, the film jumps between random characters' introductory musical numbers, and then, remembering it has to wrap things up in a two-hour window, abruptly shifts to tying up loose ends that were never really established in the first place.

As a result, despite the immense acting talent on display, none of the characters are memorable, and none play even a leading role for you to connect with at any point. Alongside Hayward, there's Robbie Fairchild and Laurie Davidson, both of whom seem to be on screen enough to warrant a leading role, but neither even gets the slightest bit of attention from the screenplay.

So, whenever their characters take any sort of role in the main plot, it comes across as sudden and out of left-field, a problem only caused because the movie spends so much time trying to entertain you with A-listers dressed as CGI cats. But even for all the Taylor Swift cameos in the world, it's surely not worth steamrolling simple character and narrative development.

In short, Cats is an absolute atrocity. From a director with an already wobbly track record in the musical genre, this film is an utter disaster, failing to capture any sense of spectacle or fun, and instead meandering and wandering through a non-sensical, boring and predictable story that's seemingly used mostly as a platform for some big West End musical numbers and A-list cameos.

There's nothing good to say about Cats, and unless you really want two hours of pain at the cinema, I suggest you stay as clear as possible.
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1/10
I'm in soo much pain right now , so much pain . Please make the pain stop , please ...this movie...noooooooo
salimarsiwala22 December 2019
Do not watch this under any circumstances , this movie is a dangerous to your mental and physical health
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1/10
In the Litter Box
drednm20 December 2019
CGI mess of a movie with caterwauling "stars" in ugly costumes and abysmal dance numbers based on the hit Broadway musical.

The movie is ugly to look at and is an assault on the ears with Jennifer Hudson screaming at the top of her lungs and every other "singer" shown in loving close-up as they mug through their numbers. This includes Judi Dench, Ian McKellen, James Corden, Rebel Wilson, Taylor Swift and others.

Really, I thought Hudson was trying to cough up a hairball. She should have. It would have been the highlight of the film.
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