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"The Orville" Mad Idolatry (TV Episode 2017) Poster

(TV Series)

(2017)

Quotes

Isaac: I believe what we have encountered is a planet locked in a multi-phasic orbit.

[in the conference room with all the senior staff]

Capt. Ed Mercer: Okay, let's pretend I don't know what that is.

Lt. Gordon Malloy: Do you know what that is?

Capt. Ed Mercer: I do not.

Lt. Gordon Malloy: So, we could just say that.

Capt. Ed Mercer: Thanks, buddy.

[sarcastically]

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Capt. Ed Mercer: Oh, God, that is a lot better than Bortus' poo drink.

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Lt. Gordon Malloy: Hi, we're the fashion police and these outfits have got to go.

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Cmdr. Kelly Grayson: [after Ed speaks to Admiral Ozawa] Why didn't you tell her?

Capt. Ed Mercer: You helped out a kid, that's all. And cultural contamination of a society that undeveloped is a serious charge. I just don't want to have to come visit you in prison.

Cmdr. Kelly Grayson: Really? You wouldn't want to visit a women's prison?

Capt. Ed Mercer: You're right. I'll call her back.

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Cmdr. Kelly Grayson: Oh, my god. I forgot what a terrible cook you are.

Capt. Ed Mercer: It's awful, isn't it?

Cmdr. Kelly Grayson: [laughing] Yeah.

Capt. Ed Mercer: It's terrible. See, you know, I was afraid of that, and I didn't want to use snythesized food tonight, so I made a backup.

[retrieving two plates]

Capt. Ed Mercer: Peanut butter and jelly is impossible to screw up.

Cmdr. Kelly Grayson: What are we, twelve?

Capt. Ed Mercer: Yes, we're twelve. And afterward, I'm gonna pull your hair and call you fat, and that's how you'll know I like you.

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Cmdr. Kelly Grayson: This isn't gonna work.

Capt. Ed Mercer: You mean us.

Cmdr. Kelly Grayson: None of this should have happened. You defied an admiral's orders to protect me, and it sent our science officer into a 700-year exile. You and I, together... it jeopardizes your command. It jeopardizes the smooth operation of this ship, and it jeopardizes our friendship. It can't happen.

Capt. Ed Mercer: When I'm really honest with myself, I know that you're right. But that doesn't change the way I feel.

Cmdr. Kelly Grayson: I know. But for now, those are feelings we need to forget.

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Cmdr. Kelly Grayson: Hey. You awake, too?

Capt. Ed Mercer: Yeah. Can't sleep. They were wrong about the Opsadda. It does come out.

Cmdr. Kelly Grayson: What?

Capt. Ed Mercer: Nothing.

Cmdr. Kelly Grayson: My god, what happened to your hand?

Capt. Ed Mercer: Oh, this. I was playing a Mochlan game with Bortus. What's insane is apparently I won.

Cmdr. Kelly Grayson: You should go down to sickbay and get that fixed.

Capt. Ed Mercer: The explanation for how this happened is not something I want on file.

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Capt. Ed Mercer: So, um... what do Mochlans do for fun off-duty? Do you guys play, like, board games or anything like that?

Lt. Cmdr. Bortus: There is a popular Mochlan game called Latchkum that we play from time to time.

Capt. Ed Mercer: Oh, well, break it out. Show me.

Lt. Cmdr. Bortus: I do not believe you would enjoy it. It is not for humans.

Capt. Ed Mercer: Come on. You know what? There's so much I don't know about your culture. I-I want to... I want to learn.

Klyden: [a few moments later] I will pass the Latchkum to you, then you pass it to whomever you wish as quckly as possible.

Capt. Ed Mercer: All right.

[they take turns passing it back and forth]

Capt. Ed Mercer: So, what, does this just go on until somebody...

[a sharp spike protrudes from the Latchkum and impales his hand]

Capt. Ed Mercer: AHHH!

Lt. Cmdr. BortusKlyden: Latchkum!

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Lt. Cmdr. John LaMarr: Captain, there's a large central structure just to the north of here.

Capt. Ed Mercer: Let's go.

[cut to them entering the building, where they find a large statue of Kelly]

Capt. Ed Mercer: Oh, yeah, we're in a lot of trouble.

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Capt. Ed Mercer: Kel, I'm sorry, but you can't blame yourself for any of this.

Cmdr. Kelly Grayson: I watched three people murdered in my name. Five others already dead. And a mother telling her child that if he misbehaved, "Kelly will get him." You're damn right I blame myself. And I'm forbidden to even try and fix it. I mean, how many more people are gonna die down there in the name of Kelly? Thousands? Millions?

Capt. Ed Mercer: If there's anything at all I can do...

Cmdr. Kelly Grayson: No. Just... I want to be alone.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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