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"The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel" Pilot (TV Episode 2017) Poster

(TV Series)

(2017)

Quotes

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Miriam 'Midge' Maisel: My life completely fell apart today. Did I mention my husband left me? Okay, did I mention that he left me for his secretary? She's 21 and dumb as a brillo pad. And I'm not naive, I know that men like stupid girls, right?

Guy with Blonde: Uh...

Miriam 'Midge' Maisel: But I thought Joel wanted more than stupid, I thought he wanted spontaneity and wit. I thought he wanted to be challenged, you know what I mean?

Blonde in Front Row: Uh...

Miriam 'Midge' Maisel: You two are gonna be together forever.

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Miriam 'Midge' Maisel: Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. It's Yom Kippur. I'm supposed to be fasting, atoning for my sins in the eyes of God.

Susie Meyerson: So?

Miriam 'Midge' Maisel: So, I'm eating peanuts.

Susie Meyerson: You showed your tits to half of Greenwich Village. You think the fucking nuts are what's going to piss Him off?

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Susie Meyerson: I don't mind being alone. I just do not want to be insignificant.

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Miriam 'Midge' Maisel: Do you love it?

Lenny Bruce: Do I love what?

Miriam 'Midge' Maisel: Comedy. Stand-up. Do you love it?

Lenny Bruce: Seriously?

[Midge nods]

Lenny Bruce: Well, I've been doing it awhile. Ok, let's put it like this: If there was anything else in the entire world that I could possibly do to earn a living, I would. Anything! I'm talking dry cleaners to the Klan, crippled kid portrait painters, slaughterhouse attendant. If someone said to me, "Leonard, you can either eat a guy's head, or do two weeks at the Copa," I'd say "Pass the fucking salt." It's a terrible, terrible job. It should not exist. Like cancer. And God.

Miriam 'Midge' Maisel: But do you love it?

[Lenny shrugs, grins sheepishly, and walks away]

Miriam 'Midge' Maisel: Yeah. He loves it.

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Abe Weissman: Life isn't fair. It's hard and cruel. You have to pick your friends as if there's a war going on. You want a husband who'll take a bullet for you, not one who points to the attic and says 'They're up there.'

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