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Rust Creek (2018)
An old story badly retold
Full disclosure, I couldn't actually finish this. Too many preposterous scenarios and completely unrealistic story that a tries to reinvent the outdated "traveler lost in the woods and threatened by hillbillies" story. Way beyond the outer boundaries of imagination. There are better ways to portray strong women.
Bird Box (2018)
Stretches suspension of belief into stupdity
Excellent cast of great actors acting decently. Sadly, it's not enough to carry this ridiculous concept of a movie that requires a suspension of belief that goes well beyond normal boundaries.
Don't believe me? Fine, I want you to get in a car and drive to your nearest grocery blindfolded. Then, I want you and two children to row miles down a river to an unknown destination in a boat... blindfolded, dropping a child in the water and retrieving them, all without ever taking off your blindfold, AND arrive at the unknown destination, yes, blindfolded.
When you've accomplished these apparently basic tasks that virtually any human could easily do (blindfolded), then you can explain to me why blood would flow out from under the closed door of an industrial freezer.
Ludicrous, ridiculous, and absolute nonsense movie. Sorry, but you lost me at driving to the grocery store blindfolded.
An old idea wrapped up in an old sterotype with a new face.
As a behavioral health professional, I found this movie to be an immediate disappointment. Stereotypical psychiatric BS abounds here. I guess the truth about psychiatric services just isn't very supportive of the abuses necessary to craft a psychological "thriller", term that only loosely applies here.
This film is filled with false stereotypes and stale narrative that is way beyond suspension of belief. Reality doesn't even come in to play. From the start it just makes things up to meet it's own needs. I could have turned it off within the first 15 minutes and the end result would have been the same. The saddest part of this movie is that it has stained Claire Foy's reputation forever, in my mind. She should have passed on this offer - it wasn't worth it, at any salary.
Lost in Space (2018)
A sad effort unworthy of a classic masterpeice
This is poorly written TV at it's worst. The scenes stumble along from one poorly thought out problem to the next badly done solution... Why, why why? Therre are so many holes in this story line, I don't know where to begin. In an advanced future, where we are traversing interstellar space, we still stock all space craft with 20 century flare guns?
In sp. 1, the spaceship falls through the ice into the unfrozen water below; when night falls, the previously unfrozen water is frozen solid in seconds; shortly thereafter, it begins to rain?? The next day, as the sun rises again, the previously unfrozen water remains frozen solid... why? The daughter manages to drive to within yards of the family with no beacon, no communication, and no map or any idea exactly where they've gone... really? The problem with the frozen drain hoses is solved by poking at the end of the hose... really? Think about it... yeah.
This is a brilliant idea that is poorly executed. Please stop now; it hurts too much. You are crapping on a classic that deserves far better than this.
The Open House (2018)
Just poorly done from concpetion to anticlimax
Unlikely premises and stupid scenarios run amok here. No, open house isn't like that anywhere. No, Realtors don't act that way. No, an average person would NEVER respond that way. No, nobody would react to that situation like that.
This is just a stupid movie. While the core premise has potential, this has way too many unbelievable characters and unlikely situations. The "scary" factor is there, but it's just too rife with unreasonable stuff that breaks the bonds of believably. After droning on with one ludicrously stupid scene after another, you're treated to artificial crescendo of over-drama, followed by yet another anticlimactic non reasonable conclusion.
Please, never make another movie like this.
Alien: Covenant (2017)
"There's a lot here that doesn't make sense."
Spoiler Alert! The best actor in the show dies in the opening scene. That should be a red flag, but we are giddy with anticipation, so we ignore it. After decades of work to locate the perfect planet for a colony of humans, years of planning for the trip, and more years of space travel in cryogenic sleep, the recently awakened crew decides to take a side trip to a nice looking planet to find the singer of John Denver songs (I kid you not).
On arrival at the new planet which is covered by raging storms of hurricane strength, the crew makes no effort to evaluate the atmosphere, the landscape, or the flora/fauna. Instead, over half the crew and the captain jump into a shuttle ship and take off for the surface. Instead of flying over the previously pinpointed site of the John Denver singer, they decide to land in the water no less than FIVE miles and several thousand climb feet away from the site.
Apparently, the crew has never been trained on the dangers of new life forms, so they just walk about,touch things, and step on all manner of strange flora. They also decide to split up, something they seem to want to do throughout the entire movie. Of course, some of them are infected and get sick. Of course, we must take them back to the ship. Again, this crew has no apparent understanding of the concept of quarantine.
Once the tech realizes that something really nasty is literally coming out of the dude in the med room, she wisely locks the room down. Then, after frantic sobbing and panic on the radio to the rest of the crew which are returning from the five mile 3500 elevation foot climb, she opens it back up again because she found a gun. She slips on blood, which results not only in her death, but due to her inept firearms skill, in the complete destruction of the shuttle ship in a fireball. I mean, how much flammable material were they carrying? This happens right in front of the rest of the crew who were, apparently only moments away during the previous radio call... ?
"There's so much here that doesn't make sense." Actual quote from the movie and captures my feelings less than one hour into the movie... Amazingly, just when death is upon them, we discover that Walter the Android has a John Denver-singing doppelganger named Dave. And coincidentally, he's living right on this planet! Numerous references to Prometheus help us make this tangential connection. Dave takes them to the site of the John Denver singing and it is a gigantic city. How did they NOT see that before now?
The mother ship is trying to fly through the storms. We're not sure why because they eventually launch another shuttle for rescue. Meanwhile the crew continues to separate from each other and die from aliens. Dave teaches Walter to play the flute and expresses his gay android love to Walter. Walter is ambivalent, then oppositional, so Dave kills him and takes his place. They get rescued and taken back to the mother ship
Walter had instant repair abilities, Dave does not, so why doesn't the crew pick up on the fact that Walter (actually Dave in disguise) has major cuts on his face that aren't healing? No one knows. Instead, they all let Dave put them back in cryogenic sleep because, they're tired, I guess. Dave is now in control of the human and the alien race. They are as doomed as the story line of this movie is.
THE END, gratefully.
A Terrible Movie From Any Perspective
Gender aside, I can't imagine a worse effort. Boring plot, worn out story-lines, cliché action, extremely poor acting and even worse scripting. In terms of a badly done movie, this one "has it all".
For any gender, this is an embarrassing effort. I certainly wouldn't promote it as an "all women" product, or an all anything product, for that matter. I would hide this movie in an archive somewhere and pretend that it was never done.
How does this get a 7+ score??
As previously pointed out in these reviews, Blindspot is suffering from more than a few of the titled problems; What is it with FBI shows and stupid scripts? don't you people do research? Blindspot is not quite as dumb as Quantico, but it's a close competitor! The entire premise is just stupid. Are we to believe that the FBI is in the habit of involving trainees and victims in it's investigations, in the field? Really? As if that weren't enough, Jane Doe gets a gun in episode 3 - not just any gun, but an FBI issued firearm Wha-What!? Uh huh, yeah, that could happen, right?
From start to finish, every episode is filled with complete nonsense and canned script, e.g. "Stay with me!" as someone dies (OMG). The effort to include all possible references to terrorist threats, drones, special forces, CIA, blah-blah, is sad and repetitious. The "computer girl" is equally unimpressive and grates on my nerves.
Finally, is the FBI really this incompetent? These guys can't catch a criminal (he's too fast), can't follow a lead (computer girl does it all), can't shoot, and can't fight. Annoyingly, Agent Reade reminds us every episode that involving a victim/citizen in a law enforcement investigation is uhm, WRONG.
I can't imagine I can watch the entire season...
Eye in the Sky (2015)
Boring, Unrealistic, overly emotional puff piece
Half-way through the movie, I tried to buy the little girl's bread online so I could get the movie moving - OMG! What a piece of crap!
- No USAF pilot EVER behaved liked that. None ever will. - Excruciatingly tedious - NO group would EVER struggle with a scenario like this IRL. NEVER HAPPEN. - The camera angle of the drone never changed through the entire movie - Are we supposed to believe these things hover?!? THEY DON'T! - No pilot, authorized to fire, is going to zoom into a nearby street to see if that person walking into the neighborhood is a kid - The collateral damage has already been evaluated and considered. Now, if a school bus drove up, maybe.
Bottom line is this - I love Helen Mirren and the rest of the cast was good as well. BUT, this story line was the worst. Trust me, I get the idea of the conflict inherent in war, but whoever wrote this story doesn't. Instead of doing some research, they just made up a bunch of crap to support an idea.
American Crime (2015)
Strangely addictive, but still lacking.
American Crime has much potential, most of it unrealized at this point. The show has a strange, morbid attraction, and, while far from terrible, it often feels like the actors are working too hard, possibly trying to make up for the clichéd racial tension, predictable, repetitive dialogue and unrealistic inter-relatedness between crime/character.
While utterly watchable, the overall experience leaves one with a sense that the drama and events are not happening because they might naturally occur that way. Rather, they are happening only because it has been pieced together in order to make a better story.