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The Borderlands (2013)
Not bad, certainly not great.
WARNING! This review contains a big and very childish spoiler at the end.
Some church guys turn up to a small parish to try to determine if a miracle took place or not. Could it be this miracle was staged by the local priest trying to gain some notoriety and more parishioners, or is there something more sinister a foot?
Filmed found footage style this film starts off great introducing the characters well and setting up the basic premise with ease. There are some funny moments and some very tense moments. There are a couple of interesting twists and the use of all the cameras makes sense for once. I must admit I was very much enjoying the movie.
Then it happens. The movie just turns into running and panting and screaming peoples names in the dark. The torch light flicking over something in the dark then coming back to nothing there. Crawling through tunnels and Camera glitches galore. Where have I seen this before you wonder? Could it possibly be every other found footage film there is. YAWN! For a film that started off so well it was very disappointing to watch it devolve into the same thing all these found footage films become.
Then of course the ending. What a joke ( here comes that spoiler ). The two surviving characters crawl into Satans bum hole, and guess what, Satan's poo melts your skin off while you scream into your buddies head mounted camera. Thus giving this film a truly s****y ending.
Cops respond to a distress call from another unit. When they arrive at the abandoned police station the call came from everything goes weird and gory.
Visually arresting and well scored this movie does make an impression but doesn't make much sense. By making the cops out to be quite scummy at the beginning of the story it made it so I wasn't really rooting for them. The locale is good with the abandoned police station having a very eerie feeling. The constant dream sequences while at first impressive become a bit tiresome when you realise the movie is lacking in narrative drive when most of what you see turns out to not really have happened.
For me it felt reminiscent of Some Italian splatter like Fulci where plot played second fiddle to imagery and mood. I am in no way saying it is in league with Fulci but it has a similar feel to the likes of The Beyond and City of the living dead.
The master stroke of Baskin comes in the casting of The Father character which to me was akin to seeing Michael Berryman for the first time in the Hills have eyes. This actor has such a striking appearance it just adds to the feel of the movie.
The plot really is the weak link in the whole production with the ending being one of those you've seen a thousand times in horror movies. Very tiresome to see it end in such a contrived and over used way.
Overall I think I could probably watch this movie again but it isn't one I would heartily recommend.
Monster Trucks (2016)
A young loner discovers a monster in a junkyard and finds he can use it to power his car. Soon he befriends the monster and sets out to help it find it's way home.
Great special effects and some good performances from some likable lead actors makes this an enjoyable movie to watch. Don't expect the plot to hold up to well under strict scrutiny but it is a kids film after all. There are some good positive messages about family and friends with a little bit of a green message too but nothing heavy handed.
The monster is very likable and the film has some funny moments too. Definitely recommended. I know I would have loved this as a kid and would have certainly enjoyed the action scenes in the second half of the movie. I can imagine younger kids of today having fond memories of this movie in the future. I just hope people give the movie a chance.
The Polar Express (2004)
Truly the stuff of nightmares.
This is a children's film. Yet it is full of the kind of monsters that haunt you at night while you writhe sweat soaked in a bad dream. The death mask like faces and cold dead eyes of the creatures in this film are soul shrivelling and yet these creatures are the children we take our journey with. Each time one of them speaks their lips peel back to reveal gnashing teeth. Their emotionless faces hold a kind of unfeeling malevolence that is fear inducing. Couple this with the fact each of them has a voice of an adult it takes you to some surreal place where everything seems somewhat sinister and unsafe.
The angular empty world this movie takes place in exists on another plain. Cold and flat and devoid of any believable life. It is somewhere I would dread to wake up in.
The elves are terrifying spindly little legs and goblin like faces. They are more like how you would imagine Rumpelstiltskin to look. Their appearance is more of something that would steal your soul than build you a toy.
Permeating this film is Tom Hanks, speaking through several of these characters like some eternal element. The big brother of this vacuum world. A puppet master using these automatons for his own ancient devices. But at the same time he is also the voice of our Hero boy. Is this some internal struggle a part of this all-seeing presence fighting against itself. I don't know. But what I do know is that at night sometimes I see the faces of these hellions in my nightmares and so will you if you view this harrowing piece of celluloid.
Another Zombie turd.
When we were kids my cousin and I would play in the woods. One time we were out there and my cousin disappeared for a while. When he came back he said "You've got to see this, I have just done the biggest turd you have ever seen". So I went to take a look and it was true, it was massive from such a small child and it had this annoying fly buzzing all around it. Well watching a new Rob Zombie film is like going to see my cousins turd. I'm amazed that he's made this but as I expected it's just a pile of crap. Also I'll use the fly as a metaphor for Sheri Moon Zombie aimlessly buzzing around this steaming pile in the most annoying way.
Unlike almost every other review on here that starts with " I loved House of a thousand corpses and Devils rejects" I didn't love those movies. I was bitterly disappointed with House and thought Devils rejects was just a gore stained collection of stolen ideas. I preferred his Lords of Salem and to a lesser degree Halloween 2. They at least seemed to show Zombie had some kind of voice as a director.
31 is such a simple idea that I can't understand how it could go so wrong. There is little to no character development for our protagonists. The "action" is filmed in such a way it lacks any excitement and the movie is paced so badly it becomes a bore. The character of Doom head which many are saying is the saving grace was just loaded with the terrible direlogue Zombie is now infamous for. With no cohesive character or personality traits to make him believable I just didn't feel it, it didn't work for me. I did enjoy seeing Meg Foster again and thought she was great. I did also enjoy the fight scene with the chainsaw clowns but in a movie with a run time of 1h 42 mins this isn't hardly enough to recommend it.
After everything the ending is also terrible Zombie tries to leach tension from a scene where there is none because he doesn't realise by this point nobody cares. He kills off the few likable characters and leaves us with one no one was rooting for.
I don't know why I continue to watch his films but I will say one thing for Zombie. When it comes to dropping turds he beats my cousin hands down.
Dismembering Christmas (2015)
Not the present I wanted, but it'll do.
This seasonal slasher has a group of friends stay at a cabin in the woods for the holidays. Little do they know a killer is lurking in the forest waiting to kill them off one by one.
Dismembering Christmas brings nothing new to the genre but does somethings well. The snowy setting and Christmas decorations along with the characters clothes all make this feel very Christmassy, really making the seasonal slasher work. Another plus for the film is some of the hand-held camera work. In particular the drinking scene is very well done with the camera swooping around the whole group as they enjoy themselves. Another scene where one of the characters is trying to sneak passed the killer and the camera hides along with our protagonist giving us a little peek of the killer is well done.
The acting is real hit and miss. To be fair most of the cast do a good job with one or two exceptions. But the bad ones are bad. The dialogue is okay, I've definitely heard worse. The sound though is an abomination, Spiking and dropping sometimes during the same scene it's really off putting. The kills are okay a couple off screen but the ones you do see are pretty good a done with practical effects. The editing is all over the place sometimes it really ruins the flow of a scene.
The biggest mistake for me comes in the final scene of the movie when the final girl finally gets the baddie. This moment has the worst sound and the worst editing. Also the blood should be spraying from the bottom of the shot instead it's coming from the side, you can even see a black tube spraying the blood at the actresses face. I can't believe how shambolic this last scene is and that's what the movie ends on.
Dismembering Christmas isn't a terrible film. It does somethings really well but fails on other respects and it's this that's most disappointing. It could easily have been a much better movie if more care had been taking with some aspects.
Brand New-U (2015)
So very, very boring
This movie opens with the camera stationary on the female leads face while she repeats the same two lines of dialogue over and over. I should have realised from this patience testing opening that I wasn't going to enjoy this film.
This movie is painfully slow. It looks nice and stylish and the acting is pretty solid but the story isn't really saying anything. I kept telling myself something interesting was surely going to happen but it never did. It does't even have a point, I thought it might be trying to say something about love or soulmates or how you have to make the most of the hand your dealt but no. It's meaningless style over substance and boredom fully lording it up over that style.
Maybe I missed the point but to be honest I don't care I won't be watching this again.
Lake Nowhere (2014)
Retro done right.
I'm not sure if this is a long short or a short feature running at just over 50 minutes including some fake commercials and a fake trailer at the beginning. What I am sure of is that I love it.
Following the traditional setting of a group of kids going to a cabin by the lake the set up is over in minutes and then everything kicks off. One of the group goes swimming in the titular lake and when he returns the fan blades get well and truly clogged with poop, Where the film blends slasher and something supernatural brilliantly.
Shot in the retro style this movie pulls the look off fantastically. With tape roles and heavy grain, but it's not over done, it feels authentic. The clothes the look of the cabin everything is convincing. One small thing gave away that this is not an actual film from the period and that's the red heads tattoo. It's drawn in a style more contemporary a real shame when everything else is so great.
The effects for the kills are all great again in keeping with the vintage style of 70's and 80's horrors. A cool synth score soundtrack accompanies the action just adding to the flavour. The acting is pretty solid throughout all the way up to a pretty satisfying conclusion.
This truly is a love letter to those old horror movies you used to rent from the video store. So if that's your thing seek this out and if not seek it out anyway because it's great.
Sick Girl (2007)
Torture porn that is torture to watch.
I watched this movie about three years ago. I'd heard a great deal about how nasty and shocking it was. The torture scenes in the barn near the end are quite brutal. But the thing that I remember most about this film is how annoying the lead actress's voice was. You spend the majority of this movie with this character and she is painful to listen to. Not only because of her delivery but because of the actual direlogue itself. I couldn't root for the character because she was so annoying and skanky.
If the most memorable thing about a movie is how annoying the leads voice is, it doesn't bode well for the film. I'd avoid this film.
This movie starts with a girl getting a beating from her boyfriend for accusing him of cheating while their infant child watches through a crack in the door. 18 Years later a group of halfwits are out clubbing in Sexy costumes (well the girls are anyway). After getting drunk they leave the club and decide to break into an abandoned store where it turns out a killer dressed as a bunny girl lives.
There's not much plot here but what do you want from a slasher? I suppose you want kills. Well it has those but they're all crammed into the last 20 minutes of the movie. I had to laugh at one girl who as soon as she turns up at the building gets murdered straight away.
The kill effects are actually really great with old school make up effects. One torture scene filmed by the killer has some really nasty effects in it although it loses the effect of being filmed by the killer when all the camera angles start changing and the killer appears on camera as well, whoops!
The acting is poor, the girl dressed as red riding is awful her voice was so annoying and her delivery was terrible. Humans just don't talk that way. The filming and sound aren't going to win any awards either, especially the sound which is really muffled for the most part.
I did really like the killer. The outfit was sexy and creepy at the same time. It's a shame she wasn't in the movie more.
Then at the end there's a terrible post credits scene that looks like it was filmed much later than the rest of the movie. Don't know why they felt the need to add this, maybe because of how short the running time is. Anyway it's pointless and adds nothing to the film.
Bunni is not a bad film. If your into slashers it's quite a fun one. If you're not into slashers I'd probably avoid this.
Midnight Special (2016)
80's kids film written by someone with depression.
A kid with special powers is taken by his father to go on the run from a shady government agency and a weird cult.
The plot and the trailer for this movie put me in mind of several films I loved as a kid. Sheriff and the satellite kid and it's sequel Why did you pick on me? as well as D.A.R.Y.L.. Only this one is for "Grown ups" who don't care about plot or fun.
The story picks up just after The father played brilliantly by Michael Shannon has already rescued the boy from the weird cult that was hailing him as some kind of messiah because he can repeat radio messages and shoot a calming light out of his eyes. I sort of feel like we missed out on one of the more interesting parts of the story by not seeing the rescue.
The bulk of the movie is spent watching the father the fathers friend and the child try to make there way to coordinates the boy has spoken of during his radio chants.
I'm usually quite fond of ambiguous plots but this one is far to light with so many threads left hanging you could make a cat of nine tails to whip the script writer with. When the expert they call in works out were they are headed because he stares at a white board and circles a few digits with no explanation how he worked out where they are headed we're just supposed to accept he's the expert and thats how he worked it out.
The ending was also very reminiscent of the Abyss, With a fairly disappointing reveal. The movie is pretty much SCIFI light, light on SCI heavy on FI. I wanted to enjoy this film but because of the similar themes to those 80's kids films I mentioned I thought it was going to be more fun. It wasn't and the ending left me feeling hollow.
This is one of those movies I won't be watching again.
Last Girl Standing (2015)
Predictable but mildly entertaining.
Last girl standing starts with the ending of a slasher film. We see the final girl of a slashers bloody aftermath dispatch the killer and escape with her life. We then pick up a few years later where the girl has become an unsociable and quite unlikeable social outcast. Distancing herself from everyone at work until the handsome new slacker guy arrives and oddly takes a liking to her. He then tries to integrate her into his circle of friends, just as things start to happen that could mean the return of the antler headed murderer from the intro.
My main problem with this film is that the lead character is so poorly written and unlikeable as well as being obviously bats**t crazy. So crazy in fact that you can guess the ending at least 20 minutes into the movie. The one member of the group of friends who points this out is ignored because she's quite obviously the bitch character, but I still liked her more than the main girl. In fact everyone in the movie is more likable than our heroine. I can't understand why they keep her around, maybe its because batsh**t crazy is the one stereotype not yet taken in the group.
The film is well made, well directed and it also has a pretty cool soundtrack. The gore scenes at the beginning and towards the end are really well done, with what looks like mostly if not all practical effects. I really wanted to like this movie more than I did. I think maybe I was just hoping for more because I liked the premise of the movie so much. Hopefully someone else can take this idea and make a better movie.
The Culling (2015)
The movie should have been culled.
I must say I didn't like this film. Allow me to summarise the ludicrous plot for you.
Some kids find a lost girl at a roadside diner and decide to drive her home. Once there the parents of the lost child come home and invite the kids to stay. Everyone gets drunk and high. The Mom of the little girl cuts her leg with an axe then the parents of the year drive off to the hospital leaving their child in the care of a bunch of drunk young strangers. Then a load of stuff happens that is very tiresome, nonsensical and boring.
The acting is good by the two main leads it's just that the story is never really engaging. Also it's one of those movies where the plot is fairly vague with reasons for what's happening and I didn't really care enough about it afterwards to try and reason anything out. There was a pretty weak twist in the end that added nothing to the enjoyment factor. The effects aren't great either a bit of blood some poor CG overall a bit lazy.
Certainly not one I'd recommend.
A Fun possession movie.
I first heard about this when it was called Backmask, then it was called Exeter now it has the title of The Asylum along with another hundred horror movies why they went for this lame title I don't know.
When I read Marcus Nispell the director of the Chainsaw remake and the Friday 13th remake was directing an original story I was really interested as I enjoyed both of those. This film has been knocking around for a few years so I've been looking forward to seeing this for some time and was worried it wouldn't live up to my expectations, but fortunately for me for the most part it does.
The story concerns a bunch of kids who have a drug fuelled party at an old loony bin that they're renovating. The next day when all the other kids have left and just our main group of friends remain they begin fooling around playing records backwards and trying to levitate each other. Well our main guys little brother ends up possessed and things take a turn for the worst.
The humour and horror in this one are really well balanced. With the right amount of chuckles, scares and gore all making this a great watch. The do it yourself Excorcism videos they find on the Internet and some of the dialogue are really funny. It crams in just about every possession movie cliché you've come to expect but does it in such a knowing way that it doesn't come across too cheesy.
The overall look of the movie is also great with a real professional sheen to the whole production. The gore effects are also great with both funny and gruesome moments rolled into one. One particular scene with the fat guy was really great.
Don't get me wrong it does have its problems. I guessed the ending from the beginning and a few of the characters are very one dimensional but it is very entertaining. As long as you view this in the right frame of mind it is a good watch. Just don't expect anything highbrow this Is pure entertainment horror.
I think I'm done with low budget zombie movies.
Wyrmwood is a movie I'd heard good things about and was really looking forward to seeing it. It starts pretty well giving you the set up for each of the lead characters back stories but then shambles along much like every other zombie film you've ever seen. It has a few humorous parts to it that may raise a smile and the A team like sections where the group build things in a garage were quite fun but the plot overall is just a bit boring.
The most original ideas in it involves the female lead who for some reason has a mad scientist injecting zombie blood into her brain which gives her control over the zombies. Also the zombies produce a gas that can be used as fuel. Personally these ideas didn't really do it for me which is maybe why I didn't enjoy the story.
The effects are okay the zombie make up is fairly good, although the overuse of CGI blood squirts when zombies are shot is a bit off putting.
It has one of those endings that could lead into a sequel, personally I won't be interested in a second visit.
Bloody, brutal and lots of fun.
Savaged is the story of a deaf mute girl on her way to a new life living with her fiancé. she stumbles across some unsavoury desert dwellers up to no good and is brutalised and eventually murdered by them. A local Shaman witch doctor tries to resurrect her but something goes wrong and the girl comes back changed and ready for vengeance.
Michael S. Ojeda has come up with a great new twist on the rape revenge genre. Somewhere between "I spit on your grave" and "The crow" Savaged is full of so many cool and original moments that this indie horror easily puts most Hollywood efforts to shame. The casting in Savaged is great. Amanda Adrienne manages to look both Fragile and strong in equal measure as the Vengeful Zoe making it easy for the viewer to sympathise with her as well as get behind her as she dispatches the bad guys in ever more inventive ways.
Some of the set pieces in Savaged are truly great. One scene which can only be described as a bar fight with "guts" was truly inspired. Another scene where our heroine battles on the back of a moving truck was also impressive. Some of the more gruesome scenes also had me wincing with how just plain gross they are. All of this leads up to a great Showdown and a strong if tragic ending.
Given that the movie is a low budget Indie the special FX are very impressive. The make up for Zoe as her body gradually degenerates are fantastic. Granted there are some fairly poor CG effects in here but in general they are of a pretty high standard with nothing so bad as to ruin any enjoyment to be had. Although my one true gripe has to be the use of CG blood squirts, I wish people would stop using these as they just look poor.
What this movie has is a real sense of fun and how it manages to maintain this at the same time as being very brutal is a great achievement. Savaged has that 80's movie feel where even though some of the things that happen are a little silly it doesn't matter because it's pure entertainment. I can't wait to see what Mr Ojeda does next.
Watching this will not become a Ritual.
Ritual takes the often used trapped in a motel room thriller and adds in a satanic cult element but doesn't do anything original with the idea.
The intro had my hopes up with it's stylish opening and eerie credits with the gradually appearing skull mask setting the mood very well. yet as the movie carried on my interest gradually waned as each scene was a real effort to sit through. An almost totally unlikeable female lead and virtually no chemistry between the two main actors made for every exchange between them a real laborious viewing experience.
The cults masks were fairly effective but you never really got to see what they were up to. The strange use of a high pitched whine as scenes got more "intense" was a rather annoying sonic choice that for me didn't pay off. The usual horror movie foolish choices appear but you should be used to that sort of thing if you watch this sort of movie. Obvious comparisons to vacancy are likely but the two movies are almost poles apart in terms of delivery. Vacancy is almost relentless once it gets going were as Ritual is a more sedate slow burn.
The biggest problem with Ritual for me was it wasn't any fun. It was just a little too miserable and slow. Ritual is not really a bad movie but having seen it it's probably one I wish I'd waited to watch on the horror channel.
Butcher Boys (2012)
One long chase scene.
Four kids out for some fun upset the wrong gang of cannibal greasers and are chased around a city at night while being picked off one by one. The script for Butcher boys was written by the writer of the original Texas chainsaw massacre with most of the ideas from that movie being regurgitated here only slightly tweaked. Several scenes are reused which dampens the impact as you've seen it before. It also borrows from other films most notably Judgement night.
In its favour Butcher boys does have a pleasingly nihilistic tone as once the film gets going nothing is explained. Who are these rockabilly cannibals? Why are the cops scared of them? Just what is that weird restaurant/gentlemans club they're running all about? But the tentative approach to the violence portrayed is at odds with the gonzo storytelling. Apart from two or three slightly graphic scenes the blood and gore is fairly minimal. This could be due to budget constraints. If I so I would have maybe saved the money spent on the constant nighttime aerial shots and spent that money on more prosthetic effects. A little more violence would have pushed this film up another notch on the crazy level making it that little bit more memorable. The nihilism does eventually reach it's apex in the finale when all hell breaks lose. Unfortunately this scene also turns a few things already set up in the film on its head. Making you question even further the lack of coherence.
I did find watching Butcher boys a fairly frustrating experience. I could definitely feel the opportunity for a good if not great movie in there somewhere. Visually it's very competent, it's well filmed and has a certain visual style all credit to the directors achieving this on a minimal budget. The sound and score are also strong. On the whole the performances are good with the odd exception. The problem lies mainly with the script, it borrows too much from other films, some of it could be classed as a knowing wink or nod to the writers previous work. Although had it been written by anyone else I think we'd be calling it plagiarism.
In the end I was left neither loving or hating the film hence the score. Maybe on a second viewing I'd like it more, but at the moment the only taste left in my mouth is vanilla.
Twentynine Palms (2003)
A vacant, empty bore.
May contain spoilers.
A couple drive about arguing, eating, getting naked in the desert and occasionally having some animalistic sex. There is no real plot. There is no depth to the characters. The woman is a completely vapid idiot. The guy is a shaggy haired Burk. The only positive for the almost two hours running time are some nice scenic shots. The movie contains every cliché of art house cinema. Long periods of silence, close ups of characters faces as they begin to cry, characters talking in different languages to each other, a three legged animal, it's like a student film maker saying "look, at me I'm being arty".
Then in the final fifteen minutes the film turns "Dark". A totally unprovoked and vicious sexual attack takes place. The aftermath of which is probably more shocking than the event. These few scenes are made more shocking by how mundane the rest of the movie is. Which I feel is a cheat. I wasn't shocked because I cared about the characters it was just the visual of this scene. Remove this from the movie and there's literally nothing you would remember about it.
Described as an experimental horror film, I don't know what the experiment was. Maybe it's whether you can get away with an hour and half of nothing as long as you stick something nasty on the end. I think the experiment was a waste of time.
Oh, how my excitement withered.
Yeah I also read all the buzz about this movie being the new Evil dead or whatever they were saying. I suppose it is like evil dead plot wise, group of kids go to a cabin (or abandoned house in this case)are all one by one possessed or infected by evil. Then gorily kill each other off.
Unfortunately that kind of comparison is unfair to Wither as it gives you certain preconceptions. Unlike Evil dead this movie has no sense of fun. It is far too serious and given the quite silly plot this doesn't work in its favour. The only laughs I had were at the main guys hair becoming quite crazy during one of the fights the brother characters generally cheesy appearance and the subtitle coming up for a quite obvious shouted expletive, twice. Also none of the characters seem to have a problem killing each other. These people are supposed to be long time friends but they quite happily shoot and stab each other in the blink of an eye.
It is fairly gory but if gore is what you're looking for it doesn't even do that in an original way. None of the kills are inventive. I had seen nearly every kill bar one (the one with the stool) done before. The effects are in the majority done with practical effects with a bit of CG help. There are a couple of CGI blood squirts which I loathe because the blood just vanishes. Overall the gore effects are good but not as extreme as some reviews claim. The possession make up for the actors is pretty good. More effort does seem to have been made with the brother character than anyone else though.
The Gore effects aren't the only time CG rears it's ugly head, there is added heavy rain in certain scenes that doesn't appear to be making the actors very wet (oops). Also some over the top clouds of dust and debris.
The ending is also a massive anticlimax you wait the whole movie to see the thing that caused all this mayhem. when you do finally see it it's a bit of a non event.
I was really looking forward to Wither I enjoyed the directors other movie Blood runs cold but this one lacked something for me.
I wish I had seen this as a kid.
Out in the desert reptilian aliens kill a humanoid alien leaving his Laser gun and necklace in a pile of ash. Later that day Billy Duncan finds the gun and necklace and discovers that combined they hold immense destructive power. He sees this as a great opportunity to get revenge on everyone who has done him wrong. Eventually the power of the weapon begins to take control of Billy as he begins to mutate and revenge takes a back seat to wanton destruction.
It would be easy to write Laserblast off as rubbish. It's not particularly well made the acting isn't brilliant the special effects aren't great (excluding the stop motion aliens) but it is a whole lot of fun. Some of the jokes in the script fall a little flat but the performances themselves are a constant source of entertainment. The props with there schlocky appearance are great. I know if I had seen this as a little kid I probably would have found Billy quite creepy in some of the scenes when he mutates. In the end when the weapon takes over Billy and he becomes more Morlock than man the movie turns into explosion porn, and we are treated to some truly odd choices of things to blow up. Yeah the script is weak and nothing is ever explained but thats what your imagination is for. I have my own ideas of what the aliens were up to, and why Billy went that way. In this day and age of everything being explained out for us in exposition heavy dialogue this is a rare treat.
I must give special mention to the movies musical score. The music in Laserblast really adds a level of class to proceedings which in all fairness probably doesn't deserve to be there. That main theme over the credits really is great sci-fi music.
I enjoyed Laserblast and they really don't make them like this anymore, I'm not even sure they'd want to, which makes me very sad.
The Devil's Music (2008)
Could have been so much better.
Shot documentary style following the aftermath of some mysterious events between the lead singer of a goth rock band and a pop star. The Devils music is a series of on camera interviews with people involved with the band and the music biz mixed in with footage filmed by people in the group showing some of the weirdness.
The plot is actually an OK idea, the lead singer of a rock band befriends one of her groupies who used to be a fan of a pop-star who they believe has some dark secrets. on the positive side the members of the band and the tour manager are all very good and you believe in the interviews that they are real people. There are two or three actually pretty creepy moments in the movie that work well sadly thats it for positives.
The two leads, the rock-star and the pop-star are terrible. Its real weak below TV standards acting and where the focus is on these two a lot of the time it really drags the movie down. But the most fundamental flaw with this movie is the music. Given that we are to believe that these are both successful acts in the music industry the songs are dreadful. The pop-star is supposed to have a major following but the songs are barely even radio jingle worthy. The same can be said of the rock songs and when the band are playing on stage there's people there holding instruments that aren't even on the track. You'd think if you were going to make a movie based around music you'd at least get some quality songwriting secured to make the whole thing believable.
It's a real shame that an original idea was wasted on what turns out as a pretty useless film.
Did you like it Doctor? Yes I did Doctor.
This is an 80's movie which mixes the Jekyll and Hyde story with the body horror sub genre that was popular at the time of this movies release. An aged actress desperate to maintain her youth has been funding a scientist who has been trying to create a serum to reverse the ageing process. Well the acting granny has gotten bored with waiting and demands he tests his serum on her. Had she seen the doctors collection of deformed lab rats she may have reconsidered. Well the serum works for a while but then her head gets big and pulsating. He tries to rectify it but obviously it doesn't work out, cue blood and gore.
I really like this movie. It has great old school prosthetic effects some pretty cool music and acting that's not that bad. It has a few of those odd things that make a movie memorable like the night watch man who has the voice of a cartoon character, the fact all the scientists constantly refer to each other as doctor In every conversation. Also nearly everyone in this film has a secret crush on someone. The main woman when she starts transforming nearly always does a really dramatic spin either away from the camera or towards it with her hands in a startled pose. I find these sort of things endearing in a movie and they make it more likable despite its obvious short comings.
If you like these 80's horrors this is definitely worth seeking out and the end gore sequence is just brilliant.
Advertising execs stab each other in the back over their careers and a an average looking cockney scrub in this mediocre pantomime thriller.
Rachel Mcadams is given the opportunity to prove she is more than just a rom-com princess in the role of the manipulative boss lady to Noomi Rapace's Ad campaign creator, an opportunity she squanders. It's not entirely her fault though with such a terrible script to work with there wasn't a lot she could do. Noomi Rapace is dreadful, for me she hasn't yet been convincing in an English language role and she is just either wooden or over the top in this. The plot twists are visible with your eyes closed and nothing will be a surprise. The only thing that kept me watching were the laughs and this isn't a comedy. Some of the dialogue is so stupid I just kept feeling my jaw drop.
When Rachel Mcadams tells a tragic story from her characters childhood and her and Noomi Rapace are just sat there sobbing it actually made me laugh because the acting was so terrible and the words they were saying were so poorly written. Add to this the amount of times you get one of those suddenly waking up from a dream moments (a cheap movie trick thats overused) that the film becomes a bit of a mess. So much of this is poor even down to the add campaign that triggers the war between these two women. Their clients are in such raptures over this dreadful idea that it's ridiculous. Also the rough looking guy they chose to play the love interest adds another comedy element to it. Why would these two attractive successful women be tearing each other apart over this guy?
I'm sure I read on some of the advertising that this was supposed to be an erotic thriller. There were no erotic moments in this film anywhere. I think someone pulled a dildo out a drawer at some point and there was a lesbian smooch thats all the eroticism you get I'm afraid.
I can't believe this was directed by De Palma. I have enjoyed many of his films in the past and I hope this is just a blip and not the shape of the things to come
Thomas Dekker, I love you XXX Gregg Araki
This is quite clearly the work of someone going through a midlife crisis. Part remembering those long lost college days but mostly creating a past that they'd wished they'd lived. This movie is basically Roger Avery's Rules of attraction processed through the mind of a drag queen. The masturbation fantasy of a frustrated old man.
Most of us remember our college days and the ridiculous rubbish we used to say but this movie takes that to another level with the characters talking some real cringe inducing shite. Line upon line of paltry faux-intelectualism, enough to make a little bit of your soul die just by hearing it. Cheap ass set design like you'd see on any Australian soap opera, horrible wardrobe everything about this movie looks cheap.
The cast are all attractive young people just going around posing, preening and having sex with each other. Then you get some awful weak scifi garbage going on then the whole film just disappears up it's own arse.
I got sick of seeing Thomas Dekker pouting and gurning into the camera. It started to feel like I was watching the directors own voyeuristic desire for the young actor as his face seemed to constantly be filling the screen. I'm sure there was probably more of this footage in the dailys that made it's way into his personal collection.
This film is a total waste of anyones time.