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Visuals of the movie are really nice. That's for sure - CGI is really advanced today, unfortunately it is a lot of effort completely wasted. I also like Cara Delevigne so I have expected this movie to be at least somewhat enjoyable.
Unfortunately, the story is too long and too boring, also too political and too complicated. Basically it is Avatar-style mashup with Star Wars where the humans are the bad folks. In a theory this could be somewhat refreshing experience, but in reality it is almost painful.
There is zero chemistry between the two leads, especially Valerian is absolutely unsympathetic character. The story itself is incredibly dumb, sort of unloved late French Vinnetou rip-off (the one without any action and a ton of political speech) mixed with very lame love story. The movie is too dumb for adult audience and too messy for children. It is hard to describe, it is somewhat like "Alice in the Wonderland Tries to Create a Federation of Thousand Planets While Trying to Resolve Crimes of Late French Imperialism" or something like that. Yes, it is really messy and stupid.
I do consider this movie to be an absolute failure of epic dimensions. It would be somewhat acceptable in the 80ies or maybe even early 90ies, but for today it is just too dumb and too long. It is movie that targets everyone and satisfies no one.
The French comic is strange in general. Sometimes it is really nice (Barbarella), sometimes it is creatively odd (Immortel), but this is just very bad example of very lazy storytelling mixed with a lot of wasted artistic effort. It is really hard to me to recommend this very nicely filmed wreck of a story to anyone. Sorry.
Nonsense mixed with insults and utter lies
To say it frankly: There is a bit of truth there. There was an pharaoh named Tutanchamun, there was Achenseamon, there was Aj and Haremheb. And yes, there was Egypt. Everything else shown in this mini series is Star-Gate class nonsense mixed with utter lies and insults both to the history and real historical characters. There is no other way to describe it as some actions and happenings in the movie are not just ignorant, they are intentionally deceiving and insulting.
First: Yes, the father of Tutankhamun, Amenhotep IV aka Akhentaten founded monotheistic religion. Christians seem to love this story, yet it is not related to their monotheism at all (Aten was a form of Sun-God Ra, really not related to Yahve). It was horrible failure that almost lead Egypt to its demise. Tutankhamun did not support this religion, in fact he RENAMED himself from Tut-ankh-Aten (Living Image of Aten) to Tut-ankh-Amun (Living image of Amun, the very god depicted in movie as a source of his problems). The king decided to erase cult of Aten and restore old gods. He was not rebel, he was restorer of old regime. The people loved him for doing that as the Amun was too abstract and not popular.
Second: He was married and loved Achnseamon and had two children with her, both aborted because of inbreeding problems. However he loved her and they seemed to have short yet happy marriage. Every scene in the movie depicting her is just a horrible insult to her.
Everyting else: Practically everything in the movie is one way or another just wrong, from the fact Tut never participated in combat to the internal shape of Tuts tomb in the end. It is JUST PLAIN WRONG.
What is maybe even worse I can clearly see an attempt to build the plot of the movie on novel Pharaoh by Boleslaw Prus, which is based on life of completely different pharaoh (Ramesse XIII) from significantly later era. This is still fiction yet so much better. Link to the movie based on the novel is here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060401/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2
Please, Americans: Stop believing such crap. Force your filmmakers to stop making such crap. The opinion that Americans are culturally and historically ignorant is based on movies like this.
This could have been so much much better
There is one huge sin in horror movies: You should never ever reveal too much nor too little. The best part of the horror movie experience is trying to understand what is going on. Give too little explanation and you will end up with something really annoying as no one could understand the movie. Give too much and the movie just stops being scary at all.
The best way is to reveal the background only in small pieces and maybe to build a misleading theory that falls apart at the end. The best mixture could end up like Sinister: You will see the point at the end but it is too late for the hero. And even after ending of the movie you will have no clue how the end could be prevented. It leaves chills and unpleasant uncertainty.
This movie fails in the second way: It simply explains too much too soon and becomes silly. In the middle of the movie you will know pretty much everything - what is going on, what is the cause, how to resolve everything. Everything is explained by the bunch of conveniently placed videotapes in excruciating and really unnecessary detail.
And exactly at that point the movie just stops to be scary at all. It is not that terrible, it is just an opportunity wasted by the author of the script who seems not to be familiar with basics of horror. It could be so much much better - all it needed was to reveal less background, use less cheap scares and focus more on the process of discovering what is really going on.
It could be as good as The Autopsy of Jane Doe. It failed because authors have no clue about story writing and they decided to focus on primitive and cheap Matrix style scares instead. They could save 80% of special effects budget, they could make a lot simpler story AND make the movie way much better.
In that sense it is quite a fail. The movie is not that horrible, it is just an opportunity horribly wasted.
Movie so boring even the mine gives up
This movie is actually not that terrible. It is full of inaccuracies, mistakes and failures - but this seems to be quite common these days. I see not a big problem here.
The fundamental problem is insane, excruciating boredom of it. The guy basically stands on a mine for most of the length of the flick doing nothing but hallucinating. It is absolutely beyond any acceptable level, this is really Guantanamo-torture-level of boredom. Literally nothing happens for so long time that even the mine itself gives up.
The movie is excruciatingly long, at almost two hour is absolutely unbearable. If the movie would be closer to one hour it might be somewhat acceptable, but let's be straight - this is story for a short movie. It is not thrilling, not exciting, just exhausting.
If you want a way better drama about the guy who is stuck on a mine, try No Mans Land (2001) instead. Way way better movie!
The Attack (2012)
An attempt to excuse the inexcusable
So called emotional but also very shallow movie that tries to excuse the inexcusable. An successful Arab surgeon tries to find out why his beloved supposedly Arab Christian wife decided to blow herself up and murder a bunch of kids.
It is, of course, because Palestinians are sad, because their land is somewhat insulted by the existence of Jews having their own state on its soil. Let's forget the fact the Palestinians could have their own state since 1948. The Palestinian state is of course only the entire land of and it is necessary to fight for it, especially by attacking the innocent.
The movie tries to explain somewhat logic of woman who lives peacefully under Israel rule but helps the terrorist. Her point is, you know, the Palestine is failed state, but it is her failed state and therefore it is better to spread the violence and chaos than to live in peace.
It is better to betray her beloved husband and refuse to give him the children, because you cannot have children if you do not have your own state (no joke - such crap is in the movie!)
So - let's betray husband who loves you. Let's betray the country that helps you prosper. Let's betray the humanity. F*ck God and his Commandment You shall not kill. Just do it! Murder! Mayhem! Heroism by killing these bloody Jewish kids! Revenge! Blood ties! Forward into the 21st century!
This made me literally sick. Literally. I feel no sympathy to such character, she should burn in hell for a lot of reasons. Her message to the husband "Do not hate me" is the most sickening part. Yes, everyone has to love betrayer and child murderer.
Who would film such crap? Oh, French people, of course. I've got it now. Let's send some more money to help Hamas so sad, emotional Palestinian women can murder even more children. Because the revenge on the innocent is the very best revenge!
Fender Bender (2016)
Boring beyond words, so generic it does not need description
Well, the movie is beautifully shot, that's about it. I really like the seventies style of the camera, but not much more.
The greatest sin of the movie is the fact it is incredibly dull and boring. I do not want to point out that it is full of cliché, yes. There is really nothing you would not see before. Everything you would expect is here: Stupid heroine that is simply not able to finish not only the killer, but also cannot finish simple phone call. The usual teen cannon fodder. The impossible to kill enemy that roams endlessly and kills without any reason whatsoever etc.
But this is not the main problem. The real problem is boredom of the whole thing. It is insanely generic. There is no actual thrill, no actual surprise, simply nothing. It is really insulting to request money for such generic stuff. Actually there is a lot of similar movies, that actually are innovative or thrilling, like Knock Knock. This movie really does not even try to bring something even remotely new.
Old ladies dreams about the nuclear war
This movie is virtually unknown in Europe and I can see why. The problem is in incredible naivety about how the nuclear war could look like. Behavior of main characters is not only stupid, it is actually suicidal - as for example in the German movie The Cloud (2006).
I'm stunned into disbelief how many Americans do consider this movie to be "realistic" or "better than The Day After or Threads". Actually it is absolutely unreal emotional soap opera written by someone who was not only lazy to get basic information about nuclear warfare, but even didn't bother to get some information from survivors of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
I have expected that Americans as expected participants in the nuclear exchange have been trained in basic survival skills. OK, so there is light from the blast, let's crouch behind the couch! And let's go outside for walks and forming orderly line for bottled water. People dying by radiation poisoning look like they have an influenza. Wow. So let's sit, use our last batteries for playing sad music and be sad in general. What's that? Sort of romantic family movie about dying?
Because the nuclear exchange / terrorism still cannot be ruled out, let's sum up what to do in case of nuclear attack that kinda missed your residence. (If you have been hit directly without warning, you will probably evaporate, will be killed by pressure wave, will burn in the fires or suffocate. So any attempt to survive is basically based on assumption you will need to face only secondary effects.)
First you need to try to grab as much water from the water duct as immediately possible because this is likely the very last clean source of water. Then you need to hide in the cellar with protection of at last half of the meter of soil or you need to put as much mass of anything between outside and yourselves. You need to stay at least 14 days inside and that means you cannot even bring out the dead or take a leak. The clean water should be used for drinking only, water outside cannot be used, especially rain water. After 14 days you can spent about 1 hour outside for burials, taking waste outside and searching for food. Keep outside activity for bare minimum and avoid physically intensive tasks at that point. If you do not have gas mask, then use the wet cloth as the minimum breathing protection. The cloths used for going outside must be kept isolated near the exit if you cannot wash it.
This kinda might help to survive. Never ever go immediately outside even for church or children's play, otherwise you will see the real effects of radiation poisoning that is way way way worse than shown in this soap opera. If you plan to behave as people in this "realistic" movie, please save yourselves from the suffering and use your gun to shorten your suffering.
In the end you might survive. Do not expect the remains of your culture to be so nice a clean as in this soap opera, you will end up in pretty messy dark ages. After that you may try to survive the real long term effect as radioactive poisoning of soil, failure of agriculture and general harshness of life. It will be bad but not as bad as this crappy uninformed movie.
Nymphomaniac: Vol. II (2013)
And now Lars von Trier has destroyed the sex itself
I have written quite exhaustive review of this movie but Socialist State of IMDb kinda prohibits some words - but in a very Kafkaesque manner does not explain which ones. That's somewhat unfortunate as the movie Nymphomaniac can only be described by words that describe some mature content activities. I mean some really depraved mature content activities.
Even though there is a lot of mature activity going around in this four hour long movie it is also unbelievably dull and boring. It is really hard to describe four hours long intellectual exchange so to speak between utterly depraved female character that seems to ask for understanding and her supposed intellectual savior. Philosophy, music, arts, the topics you would expect to be discussed between an old loner and insane sex addict - at least if you are modern intellectual leftist. It is so excruciatingly boring, long and really painful to watch.
I kinda loved early Trier works like Kingdom Hospital but this is just beyond horrible. The main female character is supposed to be some sort of female suffering from masculine and capitalist oppression, but she only abuses others - males, females, her own son, everyone. Its sick character only getting sicker as movie progresses.
There is no resolution at the end, no salvation, no conclusion, no mercy, no atonement, not a single spark of light at the end of the tunnel. The main heroine is simply sick psychopath who should be treated at the closed psychiatric ward as she descends just from from perverted to simply dangerous and evil.
Fear the Forest (2009)
This movie should be viewed by any aspiring filmmaker
There is a lot of awful movies, but they usually do fall just in one category of badness. For example the script is bad, actors cannot act, the production values are low, the plot is derivative etc.
Fear the Forest is an unique exception as it combines all the different sorts of badness into single package so you can study them and do not waste your time with different bad movies.
For start there is incredibly messy script with ton of mostly useless side characters. The actors cannot act which would not be that bad unless they are supposed to sound overly dramatic or professional. Then - there is just horrible camera probably held at hand on all times even in situations where the tripod would me most welcome. Crazy use of color filters and effects, every scene looks different. Then we have some really really bad sound recording. I rather do not mention the plot holes or pure inability to build suspension. There is no thrill at all except the thrill of watching really horrid film making.
In summary this is a prime example of too ambitious project with not enough resources or experience to actually finish watchable movie. It is just a pure mess valuable only as a warning for beginners.
Year Six (2014)
Harry Potter and The Damnation of Lame Filmmaking
Some indie movies are really good. Some are just horrible and should have been never released. Like I know it might be fun to create your own action movie and maybe to put in online for a few friends, but please - be realistic. There is a ton of very bad movies already, so do not add another one.
The problem with this apocalypse movie is this is just a boredom movie, totally absurd, without solid logic, with environment intact, just deserted. The main "hero" is a wimp who would hardly survive alone in an amusement park. The movie is just an hour but feels like three hours long. It is just that dull and boring.
Probably the worst part is the dialogue. If the movie would be completely silent, it could at least try to be artsy. Depression, ugly people, boredom, desperation. You know - apocalypse. But the attempt to add some story makes this creation total rubbish.
To viewers: Please, save yourselves from an hour of pure suffering. To creators: No. Please, no more. No more, please...
Exodus: Gods and Kings (2014)
Disgusting, sickening adaptation of sickening propaganda
Let's say this in a simple manner: Exodus is really sickening part of the Bible. It is not only horrific lie, it is a huge insult of a entire nation of Egypt. For starters - there were no slaves in Egypt. You could be captured in the battle or you could be sent to the forced labor, but there was no legal concept of slavery as in Greek or Roman times. You could always become a part of the Egypt society if you would accept their rule.
The entire story of Exodus is a story of hatred, supremacist, intolerance and genocide. It is a sickening part of Jewish culture, basically the first holocaust ever mentioned.
But this movie takes this insult to a very new level: It is not only story of intolerant and hateful God who strikes his punishments on innocent folks of Egypt, but also story of Moses creating his own Taleban. To add insult to the injury the authors describe "the pharaoh" as historical figure of Ramesse The Great and what's more, they portray him basically as a nazi dictator.
This movie is described as "historical drama". It might be a drama, but it is not historical. It is like Himmler and Goebbels wrote "The history of Jews" - blatant, disgusting insulting lie. I really do not understand why this episode of Bible is seen by some as a "proof of the might of the God". Are we really supposed to see this evil, malevolent, murderous creature as God Almighty? What a rotten, disgusting foundation for the faith!
Gods of Egypt (2016)
SURPRISE: Actually quite good!
Do not trust "movie professionals" who know nothing about the Kemet - the original ancient Egyptian religion. Yes, this is an action movie. Yes, it diverges a lot from canonical ancient Egyptian religion. Yes, it is "too white" for ancient Egypt. Yes, there is a mixture of Hellenic interpretation which kinda does not fit in. Building an "Super Seth"? A pure nonsense.
But you know what? It does not matter as it captures the spirit of Kemet pretty well. Seth versus Horus? Oh yes. Flat Earth with day side and night side and never ending fight of Ra with Apopis? Yes. Debates between the humans and gods leading to sort of understanding and sort of tolerance? Yes. Nepthys, the wife of Seth, "excellent goddess",protective goddess, feeling sadness for people dying? Yes. Multiple Thowt servants, mapping the knowledge? Yes! (Please do complain, black racist people here: Black Thowt is displayed respectfully here!) Hathor, "cursed by love"? Yes! Isis, the super model of double betraying women that will betray her son to betray his enemy to allow her son win? The nasty manipulating goddess that is so sensitive to people in love? Oh yes! Anubis, the inert god that feels nothing towards gods of men yet fights for the order of the underworld? Yes! Lots of action in between Egyptian gods? Oh hell yes! Actually I do appreciate the effort to capture the feeling of Kemet. Yes, this is not the Kemet. But considering all the alternatives I have ever seen, this is the very best. Actually, the Christian overtones of God understanding the nature of suffering the mortals are not damaging, they are helping! Dear "professional" reviewers! Any single of you who reviewed this movie less than 40% - please ask me for a diploma that certifies you have sh*t for brains, you know sh*t of history, culture and you should focus on movies like The Independence Day. In such movies your cultural ignorance has no distortive value.
For all others: This is a fairy tale. An American fairy tale. But the American fairy tale that has *the feel* for the dynamic of ancient Egyptian religion. It is an excellent movie, it is fun, full of action and actually does not insult ancient Egyptian religion.
Eli Roth: Yes, it is dumb, xenophobic and misogynous
Another lame, misogynistic, unwatchable murder porn piece from Eli Roth. I guess this is another movie from his "Do not travel to XXX" series or something. I really do not understand why there are some countries yet that allow this guy to shot flicks on their ground as the resulting picture is always overwhelmingly negative.
So the guy who hates all the humanity decided to introduce Chile to the world. It is full of murderers, rapists, egoists, corrupt people an it seems to be quite understandable that this hole of sin must be cleared in way of tremors, fire, waves, rape, murder and such funny attractions. Every good deed from the American tourists will be punished and only the most annoying character will remain as it fits the perverted world of sin and sickness pictured by the Great Misogynist.
Well, let's stop to call this "cinematography" and let's call it slightly informative murder porn instead. This is clearly intended for people who somehow like murder porn yet do not want to download it from the servers in Ukraine where such porn is provided for a fee. They are probably afraid that these sick foreigners will suck their funds from a credit card so this movie seems to be somewhat safer alternative.
Those who love catastrophic movie will pick other titles like Bolge (The Wave) from Norway. It is also very dark but realistic and does not assume every non-Western human is a sick bastard in the depths of his heart.
This is not a western. This is a regular horror movie
I'm stunned into a disbelief. So many negative reviews both from audience and professional reviewers... Did I watched the same movie? Boring, nonsensical, derivative and stupid? Oh, hell no! I have seen 500+ horror movies and even though this might not be the very best or totally original, it is still great, powerful and beautifully shot. This is not simple to understand western movie with good guys and bad guys and simple to understand morale story.
No. This is a "The Dead Man" class confusing horror story that lies to the viewer. The problem is you may understand the real story maybe from the half of the movie and at that point you will have very hard time to guess what is the truth, what is the lie and what is the delusion.
In the end you will very hard time to understand what REALLY happened. This movie is confusing, strange, but WAY better than the so applauded "Eight Hateful". This story is way better, more clever and actually more pleasant to watch. I would advise the viewers to stop swallow the marketing and watch the movies with their mind opened. At that point you might start to distinguish over-hyped marketing stuff and really innovative storytelling.
Itty Bitty Titty Committee (2007)
Comedy? More like feminist horror story.
Rise up, comrades! Here we have an educational feminist propaganda movie dressed as a comedy. A bunch of no so pretty girls doing not so much real work, they partying a little and doing not so much revolutionary work in not so much funny movie. They try to explore their sexuality in not so explicit way. Most of the movie is blaming these white racist, I mean these men who are pigs or something. Except for those dumb but lovely boy toys who are good at licking the female parts.
Wow. Is this supposed to be modern or progressive? I call it both dumb and naive.
I happen to live in a former communist country where the REAL feminism was a daily thing. We have had these really emancipated women who were driving tractors, working in steel mills and doing all possible "male jobs" including serving in military and dying for our country. It was not pretty nor erotic - the daily hard work was no so good for their bodies nor soul. Also they were included in some real revolution and had the honor to be jailed, punished and executed as their male comrades. Not so romantic and not so pretty in reality.
I would recommend to folks who think this is progressive to visit some real place where the women have their revolutionary roles assigned by government like Northern Korea. A year or two could teach them about their prospect in REAL class-less society. It is way different than they think.
Some confused folk might think this naive propaganda movie is somewhat inspirational or funny. I consider this to be a slow and somewhat boring horror movie because I have seen the society where this became a harsh reality. Something like a funny movie about a bunch of mad outsiders who are mad at the oppression of the society and decide to found an activist group called NSDAP. Funny. Real funny.
The Incredible Torture Show (1976)
Little bit of torture porn, a lot of stupidity
Troma is abusive, perverse and also the symbol of unlimited freedom. No one would dare to make such movies these days. Most of their movies are also very cheap attempts to get an easy buck.
This one is really not one of their best. Unfortunately, it is very boring and insanely stupid. There are actually very cruel, brutal and sadistic movies that are also clever and worth the watch - like Salo or even Wozard of Gore (the one from 1970).
Unfortunately the Bloodsucking Freaks looks like a porn movie that went wrong. And by "going wrong" I do not mean it includes torture or murder, but because it includes very bad acting, extremely stupid characters and very plain and insanely boring plot. Seriously, this is non only cheap, but also a pretty lazy work.
If you are looking for a horror / thriller movie, look elsewhere. If you are looking for a fake snuff porn, you will also find better pieces.
The Darkroom (2006)
A parade of no-good pathetic zeroes
What a waste of time! So there we go. Pathetic mental patient goes nowhere. Then he meets another zero good for nothing boy that goes to nowhere. Then we meet his good for nothing alcoholic mother that has abusive friend that happens to be an pervert and possibly serial murderer. They all are on their road to nowhere.
And the "heroes" manage to do nothing. Not a f*cking thing.
No one is saved, even friends.
In the end... nothing is gonna be okay. The mother? Probably the same drunk. The son? Still a weakling. The man? Still a good-for-nothing zero.
What a epic victory for no one...
This movie is supposed to be some sort of parody about the American Christian concept of rapture. The "serious" rapture movies are pretty dumb themselves, but this comedy takes the oddity and boredom to completely another level.
This movie was recommended to me as a "extremely funny and provocative comedy mocking the concept of rapture". Well, it seems to try to mock and to make some fun, however absolutely unsuccessfully.
Pathetic and extremely stupid "heroes" with zero chemistry, lots of dirty talks and almost no action... meh. Watch Dogma or Little Nicky instead.
I Origins (2014)
I have expected a lot from this movie. A lot of people have praised it as a great movie that literally blows the Hollywood out of water. I'm shocked into disbelief how the public today can assume the movie is clever and spiritual even if it is so incredibly shallow and stupid. Maybe they got confused by the cool soundtrack and the fact the actors do wear glasses.
Well. The movie has a lot of very bad flaws. For the start it is insanely boooooring. Basically there is nothing going on for almost two hours. It is not surprising, there are not twists. Not a single one. Well there is an elevator. So we know someone is going to die here, it is obvious at least five minutes earlier. We do know the scientist will go full spiritual, it is obvious at least one and half hour earlier. "I have been hipster scientist and now I'm hipster believer." This level of shallowness is just stunning.
The movie is not emotional. It has same level of emotions as displayed in "Melancholia", "Her" or "Another Earth" - I do mean there is just single emotion, which is kinda mixed out of passivity, longing, sadness and guilt.
The movie is not scientific. The level of science displayed in this movie is analogous to the Penny in the Big Bang Theory: You will let the actors to wear glasses and to say "molecules". Well, here is the "science".
The movie is incredibly pretending, shallow and stupid. It completely focuses on surface and totally abandons any attempt to make anything clever. Cool camera, cool haircuts, cool sadness, one single emotion, completely absurd premises. What has happened to the public that this is applauded as a great scifi flick? What about "Memento", "Blade Runner"? "The Moon"? "The Box"? Those are great and deep scifi movies.
This is just movie analog of Starbucks decaf vanilla latte: It looks cool but it is not coffee anymore. It already lost all the qualities and it only resembles greatness.
Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
Haters gonna hate but...
All right! There is a lot of haters but whatever. This is the very first "superfolks" movie I have actually enjoyed. The reason? The characters, who are mostly "gray". They are not good guys but not the bad guys either.
The first half of the movie is actually the best. A group of rogues, lost folks, betrayers, head hunters, desperados. I liked the racoonish character most. He is just so amazing! Do not expect anything deep or clever, but this movie is just as clever and as fun as it is possible for mainstream comic show.
This movie is not amazing in the sense of the "great art cinema", but it is powerful, emotional, fun and clever. And the message is perfect: You may be "an a-hole, but not 100% d-ick". Yes, most of us are not "100% d-icks". Even those who are pretty bad are still capable to do great things.
"So what should do next? Something good? Something bad? A bit of both?" - Oh yes, I love these characters from this gray area. They are as close to life as possible. Most of us are "gray", we are A great show!
Very cool West-East near future action movie
Please forget the opinions of manga fundamentalists. To quote the Black Butler, "their opinions slightly fuel my wish for killing". They are not alone on this world and these movies are made for more general public who do not have encyclopedic knowledge of the respective fictive universes. So their fundamentalist dismissals of movies based on this argument are totally off the mark.
I have seen the Black Butler movie for the very first time and I have kinda liked it. Of course, there is an incredibly complex storyline that makes the Japanese stories hard to follow for us, the plain West village folks. It might be a hard thing to swallow for some but it is worth it.
The story is actually a near future sci-fi fantasy crime movie. Even though this might seem to be bizarre, it is actually very cool. The plot is somewhat familiar for the Westerners as it builds on the West culture. The uneasy relationship between the "master" and "servant", that is somewhere between the love and the hate is also very interesting. The "master" might seem spoiled and much more powerful "servant" might seem cold and cynical, but the ending is really powerful.
Forget the critics. This is very "above average" drama, a crime movie and a somewhat bizarre love story. Pretty much unforgettable experience. And yes, the opening sequence is one of the most amazing combat scenes I have seen: If you meet a well dressed butler with a butter knife asking politely for something, you should not laugh at him. You should not!
The Fugue (2012)
Actually not bad!
This is a prime example of "small home made thriller / horror movie". While not being revolutionary or especially well made it is actually quite good. The budget had to be very very tiny, basically a bunch of folks running around L.A. with a camera but whatever.
The movie starts as a description or explanation of some unfortunate happenings to the girl that has been abandoned by her boyfriend. She seems to be a victim.
At the beginning she seems to be a victim of bad people, then a victim of haunting - but it is real? Is she mentally ill or deeply misunderstood by others? The whole movie takes the perspective from the view of this young woman, which is clearly delusional and does not see the truth. But what is the truth anyway? Is there a monster in the old well? Does she control the monster? Or does the monster control her? Or is she the monster? Or is it responsible the ghost of the former owner of the place?
While not being a great movie for movie theaters, it may be an interesting watch if the rent is low. The result is very acceptable for an amateur team who made this movie.
As dumb as bricks
Was this supposed to be a thriller? A horror movie? Every character is incredibly dumb and everyone totally fails to communicate. Everyone is psychopath, drunk, idiot or whore. There is not a single sympathetic character in the movie, period. Everyone and I really mean everyone made me just sick.
The female character played by Jennifer Lawrence is incredibly, insanely stupid. I mean a lot of beyond "Darwinian candidate level stupid". I think this is really a very bad spot on her career that will be hopefully forgotten.
The moment that made me laugh in the very bizarre moment was she tries to remove the straps by burning them on the light bulb. She tries to burn them for a pretty long period of time. Hello? Have you ever suffered a burn by a light bulb? You would have to be a Hero of Soviet Union class macho to sustain this! Yet she manages to free herself only to make several incredibly bad decisions after that.
Please, stop to make such idiotic TV shows. Please, do not make such crap anymore or at least mark them as "ultra dumb waste of time for a brainless audience". I feel very sorry for everyone who wasted his money on this.
The Toolbox Murders (1978)
Fails both as a porn and as a horror movie
This movie is kinda supposed to be some sort of exploitation classic. It has murders, nudity etc etc. Unfortunately there is not much nudity and the gore is absolutely lame. There is not plot at all and the camera is really very very bad. The soundtrack is horrifying because it is so so lame. I mean "elevator class music" lame. It makes the suffering of watching almost unbearable.
The only thing I have found interesting is the fact the women to be killed seem to never try to fight or scream or run. They are not characters, they are there just to be killed.
I do not consider this movie to be horror or thriller. It is probably very weird attempt to make bloody softcore porn or something. Whats worse - it is incredibly boring. Having said that: I never made it to the end of the movie. It was too lame and boring to waste time on this amateurish attempt.
Most of the movie would be, well, okay. Nor bright, not particularly scary, but acceptable. And there is the ending. The very strange ending that is probably supposed to point to the X-Files or something. Unfortunately it instantly ruins all the "okayness" of the movie as a piece of turd would ruin an "okay" food.
Aliens seem to be bastards here. Okay. So why they decided to return for the crazy girl? To clean up the mess? What they are doing with abducted people? Do they build ships from their bodies? What is the mess with the anal probe? Whey the lovers were returned to the Earth? Why they were instantly shot by the military? They have returned from the space, shouldn't they be questioned first? If the military has an agreement with the aliens, why the military keeps the alien body? It is just amazing how you can waste quite a good movie by adding a five minutes of utter nonsense at the end. The ending might be epic but, well, it would require folks who can see beyond X-Files and cheap teen slashers. But the idea to illogically add "the smoking man" was probably too cute you know.
What a waste. What a waste. Watch rather "Alien Abduction" instead. It has way better ending.