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Star Trek: Discovery (2017)
Series one..best Star Trek ever. Series to, a return dreary repetition of themes rehashed.
I gave up on Star Trek after being a huge fan in the 90s with the next gen, Ds9, Voyager because it really went nowhere.
Then this came along in series one, and I was amazed, finally a StarTrek which engaged adults and had a sense of characters who weren't pretent , holier than though, diplomats, but swearing, killing, procreating people I could sense a state of familiarity with.
StarTrek grew up.
Season two...return to the drivel, pumped out episode after episode, emotional, predictable, happy endings. I just watched my last episode, serum gets a cold, then miraculously gets better, "seeing th light" after an inevitable death build up.
They ruined it AGAIN....the evolution of StarTrek into the 21st century, now sadly returns to where every episode has unboldly been before, over and over again.
I don't know who was behind this change of direction, form a long awaited originality back into mediocrity, but whoever it is...we'll done you're dullness is exemplary. Sadly the great score this series has, probably came from series one, and the reviewers have not yet come back to correct their score. Why? It makes no sense.
The Aquaman Game
While watching this film my sone and I devised the Aquaman game. The premise is simple. You watch this film with a timer running and a pen and notepad. Every time you see a line, concept, scene or cliche which is undeniably stolen from another film you write the time and the reference down. The person with the most wins.
The whole film is just scenes from some of the most successful films of all time, strung together in some sort of "guaranteed formula" concept of ensuring success, that patently has failed to work. IIt'snot a bad film, it's not as terrible as people make out, but it has too many plot holes and failures to allow yourself to escape into the universe and put the faults behind you to make any real constructed frame which makes the film whole. But, no joke its like watching every film you have ever seen before strung into one, with scenes from star wars, Warcraft, harry potter, game of thrones, how to train your dragon,"King Arthur", Avatar, Finding Nemo, Indiana Jones, Pirates of the Caribean, Hercules....and I don't mean these are similar themes, they are full identifiable scenes!
Throughout the film you question choices of rational, like why did the mother stay away so long? it tries to explain, but the answer doesnt make sense? Overall switch your brain off and enjoy the ride, if you bother to think in the film you will quickly turn into dispising it,
Stan & Ollie (2018)
Heart rendering beauty
Steve Coogan has catapulted himself into a different class in this film, John C Riley, well you kind of expect and he never disappoints, solid and dependable.
With such distinguished and recognisable cast, you kind of expect to see the familiar characters of the actors themselves playing parts that you cannot suspend disbelief. Clint Eastwood for example, you see a Clint Eastwood film, you have no idea who he's playing, it's just Clint Eastwood. But here, Steve Coogan disappears from the screen and becomes Stan Laurel, you are aware there are some slight physical appearance which make you know it's not quite right, but you are not seeing Steve Coogan, that's for sure. The film is engaging, enlightening into the real people that existed behind the alter egos of Laurel and Hardy, and is a beautiful dip into their personal relationship without portraying any dirty dark revelations that a sensationalist may be tempted to put into a film.
Instead it remains for the most, a journey you take with the boys, and their struggle to remain relevant in a fast changing world after some not so good decisions in hindsight, and decisions which were presented well enough for you to subscribe to the reasoning of each possibility and probably make the same mistakes yourself. What im trying to say is that some films will present such bad career decisions as painfully obvious to the viewer, but this film left you taking both sides with equal validity.
But most of all, the film presents their deep and loving friendship. I wept, I wiped the tears and weaped some more. The kind of tear when you are simply moved by such genuine love. The film seemed to be over too quickly, I could've stayed another hour and half. Well done all concerned.
Now this, this is award winning stuff.
The Favourite (2018)
Hype over substance
A disappointing film, I honestly cannot see what everybody's is banging on about.
Seemingly filmed on security cameras with wide angled lenses which distorted the vision, cut with on obtuse period of a single piano key alternating a beat with a rusty saw being played with a violin bow, this fastly became the most uncomfortable film I have ever had to endure. I noticed that I was physically furrowing my brow in subconscious distain for the filming. Which spent too long in the beginning jumping around between the characters for you to comfortably establish any sense of direction.
Nothing original in the script, typical follies of the period, a little jealousy and skullduggery between rising factions of the established order and the new. The film seemed to make its entire story based on those simple concepts that are usually an overplayed stereotype in all royal household films...pick any, it's there...how this became such a phenomena eludes me entirely. Olivia Coleman, whome I love, was wonderful, but her character which was a version of blackadders queen Elizabeth but with a weaker temperament and vulnerability.
It seems that when we brits make a period drama, which is nothing more than a film for tv, some forces come into play which destine all concerned for globes, oscars and awards that are totally undeserved. It just proves the sewn up, hypocrisy and old boy network that these awards really are.. they need scraping and replacing with genuine, unprogramed awards for invocation, creativity and delivery...not yet another rehash of a period drama, or holocuast cliche that seem to be guaranteed award candidates by the mere fact of making them.
Unoriginal uninspired and "super" underwhelmed.
If you cast your mind back to the 1970s we had spoofs like super gran, bananaman and super kid.
They were primarily aimed at eight year olds, where actual comedy was replaced with clumsy foolishness in a step which was the one above slapstick. Comedy, like technology evolves, and while we look back at these things with a nostalgic reverence, we often find that trying to reproduce that type of innocence in a world where society is more adult...it just fails, always.
I'm so disappointed as I love most of the cast, especially Catherine Tate. So when I saw this listed on Amazon Prime, I jumped at the chance to watch it. I wondered how I had never heard of it? That reason was quickly was revealed, the promoters probably watched its final cut and went...".lets play this one down, lets not spend any more on advertising...we've wasted enough money."
The Superbob character is depicted as a bit of a failing man, one with no personality. I think one of the "jokes" was when someone who had encountered him describes her disappointing experience, she says "he's a bit of a dullard". Which could possibly be the greatest achievement in this film, as they portrayed the main character as a dullard so well, so accurately...that the film was unwatchabley dull. I had to turn it off. 30 minutes of my life that on my death bead I will cry....please...in the name that is all just, at least give me those 30 minutes back!
It has one joke...the 70sesq concept of a useless superhero...and then they just show that as a sequence of events in the already grotesqly overdone documentary format.
There's sections of the bible with more up to date material than this.
More plot holes than ted bundys back yard.
I couldn't suspend my disbelief at any point in this movie.
It makes no sense. It's basically the "taking lives" premise where a soul passes from one person to the next adopting their lives. But due to terminal decay the person, who is at heart some sort of vampiric good guy has to jump from one person to the next killing each host as he goes, but only manages it seems to cups the host body for a day or two.
Despite this, he seems to attempt to continue the hosts lifes normal daily routines..why? He also wastes time disposing of the life drained corpses...which would appear to be in a state of severe decay...and by doing so. Makes their deaths looks more suspicious...why? This of course wastes most of the day he has in each host. He also seems concerned that the cops are catching him up...yet he would never have the same body, so could easily provide allibys for all the previous deaths...why?
It reminded me of a low budget student getting his first big budget script. Dialogue was poor.
It wasn't a terrible film, it was quite well made...but the conceptual plot, story and the dialogue really let it down.
A New Classic!
its been a long wait for m to find a horror genre film which was worthy of note, I had all but given up on them. Back in the 90's I went through a phase as a movie enthusiast, particularly in horror, so I watched a lot! Dated horrors such as Rosemary's Baby, The Exorcist, Hellraiser, The Shining all spring to mind as a comparison to the originality of this film. It has something, an edge, an x factor that these other classics have. Finally, a writer and director who understands the true nature of what makes a good horror film isn't simply jump-scares, log cabin gore and "found cam footage" as per the flood of horror bilge over the past twenty years. This film is a modern classic fully deserved of all the praise it gets from now and for the next thirty years. Being an occultists myself (and noted authority, not that I'm bigging myself up, just assuring you of my credentials) I am also impressed with the authenticity of the subjects, to an extent, there is a little liberty for the benefit of entertainment. The film pulls no punches, and often leaves you asking what the...? just happened? Love it!
I'm hoping Ari Aster, doesn't leave it there....I want more, same world, same cult...here take my money! I only give it 8 stars as I always like to leave room for something beyond my experience. Its top notch...and if you read my other reviews, you will quickly see positivity does not come easily from me!
restored my faith that horror films can be good..thank you!
Hotel Artemis (2018)
shallow and obvious
There is not one aspect or moment of this film that in not cliche. Every character, every moment, every concept, every scene has been done almost every film ever made. Somehow this film has managed to bring to screen the epitome of action film, cliche.
This is not a film for a movie enthusiast. If in the unlikely event, you have never ever seen any film before, you'll love it.
It would be impossible to really give spoilers in this film by revelation definition, yet I am loathed to tick the box, because I have to point out my major issue with it, which is its whole seen before theme, nothing happens that you wouldn't expect. If it was some 14yo boys home made script that he put on at a film festival, I would give him a very patronising "well done". The fact that Hollywood have now reached the stage where they are financing this drivel regularly makes me fear for the whole industry and the "dumbing down" of humanity.
Even the soundtrack, as good as it was, classic black-woman soul which was totally what you expect to give the character (Jodi's nurse) some sort of melancholy, which was the only layer of a very thin onion of her one dimensional character. Other than that every other character was absolutely one dimensional and seen in a thousand films before; you have the good guy at heart bank robber, his not so smart brother that ropes him "back in", the old woman that is long in the tooth seen it all before, the giant muscle guy that is loyal but not smart, the whiny rich guy who always gets his own way (obviously deserves to die just for being mouthy), the dumb Oedipus son trying to please his dad who knows hes dumb, the rich (father) megalomaniac who rules the city...OMG the list goes on but ultimately concludes with the Russian femme Nikita assassin...typing this list of characters is giving me nausea! and an endless supply of dumb henchmen who seem to get killed for merely being henchmen, even though the people killing them are meant to be the people you ingratiate with. And, of course their interactions with each other are playing into that personality in every sense of the word. You neither like nor hate any of the characters, they all coma and go at a whim, oh, speaking of which there was wedged in some "cop" that carried the story nowhere, had no purpose, revealed no bigger story that for some reason despite being a 20+ storey hotel, had to be hidden from the guests (all three of them) by wheeling her between rooms before she wanders off...was she the girlfriend of the writer or something and promised a part? did she will it in a Facebook competition? what, why? never mind, I've wasted too much thought on this film already.
This film could not get more predictable, cliche and opiatic for the mindless zombies who will give this anything more. don't waste your time...you will, because, the trailer makes it look great, I couldn't wait... take my work...nothing to see here!
Await Further Instructions (2018)
So bad, so, so bad!
Where to even begin, respectable cast, good basic premise...so poorly executed and poorly written that no amount of quality casting can save it. I am so surprised that actors like Grant Masters took this role. His role is particularly bad. Usually films like this put together a set of random individuals which don't know or trust each other, and that just about works. But to say that this is a family behaving like irrational, paranoid freaks, uncaring when any of them die, often being the cause of each others suffering. Its not in any way credible. Not a single character was relatable. they all behaved ridiculously and unsuitably to the situation. Which begs the question why did they accept the roles of the most one dimensional, stereotypes of amateur film making, its clear from the outset its a ridiculous film with dialogue and development.
And then, just towards the end, it turns from a suspense thriller into some sort of alien, satanic horror film. If this had been some amateur filmmakers attempted entry into a film festival, you could accept it as a good foot in the door to progress into real film making. But since this clearly has budget, well known actors and expensive filmography...what the hell? there's good scripts out there that will never get made while some idiot is throwing financing at this tosh!
Well I'm sure they will have learned their lesson, this film is a bust!
It will be a financial flop, and every actor has took a step back in their career.
Old men, playing a childish game. Ok I get that concept, could be funny....if they had another single joke or comedy sequence in the entire film. It has one joke....old men playing tag. That's it. Seemingly they all have nothing else in their lives, characters are one dimensional which would normally do in a film with leading characters to make the rest of the film. All we have here is five supporting actors, no lead, no direction. Poor writing in that it has a sequences, but no dialogue of any merit.
This is what happens when you get bankable comedy actors, and a reasonable budget and make a film thinking that's all you need.
It surprises me this has a total of six points by people who give it nines, I means SERIOUSLY! You think films don't get much better than this? You leave yourself only one point to place all the better films you will ever see in your life?
There is nothing redeeming about this film, nothing I would say saves it, no acting, no cinematography, no soundtrack quality.
I leave one star in the same vein as people who give it nine. There's room for worse. Barely.
The 15:17 to Paris (2018)
I'm not going to pull apart the acting of the three stars of this film. I think, given the dire construction of flawed contrived conversation they did alright. The film itself however was terrible. I think Mr Eastwood was quite keen to jump on the story of this, then when the task came to it of creating a background and a whole film of this event, the realisation that there isn't a film that can be made, the writers padded this event into a montage of wasted conversation. The childhood development part was fine, the military training was fine, all that was left was the incident, and about an hour to turn this into feature length, so we had a monotonous hour of three guys walking around the sights of Italy, going into bars and taking selfies that did nothing to develop the characters, plot or entertainment.
The conversations were dire, falsified and barely could flow from the lips of the most professional of actors, let alone three guys in their first attempt...I actually think they did very well, sometimes a worksman can blame his tools.
If anyone to blame it's Eastwood, and the dialogue writers.
The Week Of (2018)
Somebody please stop this guy from making any more films
The winey voiced, stale humour of sandler has not managed to pull anything out of the hat for many years. I have to ask who is funding these insults to entertainment. Is he funding them himself? I thought I'd give it a chance for the sake of Chris Rock and Steve Buscemi, as a gave up on sander years ago. But even they couldn't get either me or the wife beyond the 25 minute mark. Sandler is the biblical anti-funny, the prophesied coming of the holy state of unfunny. He is a cancer to comedy. The whole Happy Madison franchise is some form of metaphysical media death.
They only way a film could get worse is if he paired up with Tyler Perry to make some form of cross dressing Jewish thanksgiving homecoming movie....set in the ghetto. If sandler read that insult, he'd probably turn it into a script...and it would still be better than this shocker.
There's people pushing shopping carts around collecting cans that could get together and write, perform and produce better than this, give them a shot before sandler ever gets another chance. The only camera he should ever be in front of again, should be his driving licence renewal. And even then...he couldn't raise a smile.
Apart from all the bits between the moment it started, and I assume the very last credit...it was great. More of that please.
You know when people say one star is to much...this one star I had to put on this review has too many pointy bits, too much yellow, and is too big if it was viewed from Saturn..
In case I haven't made myself clear...this film sucks.
Mary Magdalene (2018)
Boring, and not much to do with the title character.
Twenty minutes in to an empty auditorium. I was ready to go. I have in my fifty years only ever walked out on one movie. This would've been the second, but my wife insisted we made the most of our evening out together and stuck with it. Forty minutes later she had fell asleep and I was stuck watching it.
The self indulgence of the director was overwhelming, the script had no inspiration, you kind of literally expect "inpsiration" in a religious film.
The scenery... was it filmed in Ireland or something, I can't remember a scene with sand or sun. Making it a miserable film even more miserable by its dull Northern European weather.
So, how about the story of Mary Magdelane. Nothing...not a jot, no intrigue, no character development, just a stale one sided cardboard woman who decides to join a bunch of travelers passing through her town because they wanted to put some sort of woman's rights swing into the film to connect with modern movements that simply didn't fit in the movie. It picked out key points in the forty plus year old Jesus...didn't he die at 33? He,s looking rough for a 33 year old. Maybe they should have gone for the cultural appropriation angle instead of the women's movement one to apease it pc wallies, since not a single character had correct features for that part of the world.
Don't get me wrong, actors act and play people who are not them, so I don't cave to this nonsense. But it did stand out that all the characters wer western, even the extras virtually.
So yeas, basically about five seminal moments from the Jesus story, blind man made to see, Lazarus raised from the dead, last supper, betrayed with a kiss, crucified and saw in the garden at gethsemane....that's the Jesus story, we all know that... in between you would have thought they would've kind of created at least some interesting stuf about Mary Magdalene ? You'd have thought. No 5his one dimensional, "I will be faithfully by your side" character basically opposes any credit they had at women's individuality as she follows Jesus around like a sheep, listening to him whine about his lot in life...I wouldn't want hang around with him for ten minutes, let alone follow him and launch a new era of religious doctrine. The only really information that developed MM in any way was at the end, after the film, where it does the what happened next text on screen, where it tells us that MM was recognised by the Vatican as an apostle recently and not as the whore she is popularly credited as, as that now becomes documentary evidence that she or any of the others even existed.
There is so much interesting and great esoteric concepts in many books about MM that could've at least been posed...but they left this all out for a boring film discussing the most boring in between gaps of the key points of Jesus story mentioned above that without that context could've easily been about Brian, or any other prophet wandering around "Ireland" 2000 years ago...I can't be bothered looking where it was filmed, but Blackpool beach would've been more convincing.
Nothing, but nothing interesting or new, or dynamic about this film. It's quite possibly the dullest film ever made.
The Last Jedi - Lets hope so!
To say this was a peice of crap is to insult all the great craps I have had in my life.
I have two points to make here. one about the film, and secondly to support the people complaining about the credibility of IMDB in its ratings. you only have to look at the reviews to know that something is awry with a HUGE majority of people giving this 1* to attempt to give people a true notion of this film. Back to the film. Currently with a rating of 7*+ on IMDB, despite...well Ive gone down two pages and not seen a positive review or one that scored more than 4, I suspect shenanigans.
When Disney first got this franchise I thought, oh well, there goes Star Wars, but I ate my words, they did a great job previously.
But this, this is EXACTLY everything you thought Disney would do wrong with the franchise.
I can see the scriptwriters now at the beginning of this project. A bunch of 30 something marketing executives who simply have not lived a world where star wars is almost like a right of passage.
One sparks up, ok "Empire Strikes Back Was the greatest Star Wars film of all time, lets watch it and do that again!" they sat and watched it, quite possibly their first star wars experience and then in fan fiction style took all the elements, juggled them around and applied it to new characters.
most of the poorly sequenced bits can be recognised as bits from the original films, we have a new Lando Calrisian character, who does what lando does. we have a Snow battle, but in salt...we have brother sister connections.., we have betrayal....... and then we have...."put the characters in a scenario where they run out of options and all hope is lost, and then as luck would have it, someone turns up to save the day"...repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat...and keep repeating as that is ALL you have for the film, change scenario, change the characters as it darts between expositions and has split the story into a weave of subplots each with their own duo. throw in some weird love triangle between Rey, Finn and the new "Token asian" IMO Rose.
so many things wrong its hard to avoid spoilers by avoiding specifics. All goes well until "That Scene"...you'll know it when you see it, but I'll just say "superman scene", only those who have seen the film will get it. from there out its downhill all the way.
Oh, and if you didnt like JaJa Binks...get ready for merchandise overload. In classic disney fashion. They have toys galore going to poor out of this and I hope they have pre-ordered billions of them, and that the public see this film and its merchandise for what it really is..not worth your time.
To leave this film as Carrie Fishers legacy, well words cannot express how angry I am. And I think most of the world will share this sentiment. The producer, directors and writers should never be allowed near a studio again.
if disney had any sense of moral decency they should give this franchise away to anyone else, anyone in the world.
is there a single positive? A couple of jokes, were well placed. Some sentimental speeches in light of Carrie's passing were well placed. Kylo Ren (Adam Driver), stole the show, wasnt keen on him in the last one, didnt think he suited the role. In this he really showed he could have been a great new Darth Vader. If I ever watch another one?
Wooden Oscar to Domhnall Gleeson..seriously dude! I know the lines were terrible, but it was almost like watching a school nativity where you played joseph.
I say from the bottom of my heart, there was so much wrong with this film, anything they got right was smothered. Please do not go to the cinema and pay cinema prices to see this garbage, even die hard fans, wait till its on TV. A message needs to be sent from the fans.
A Hologram for the King (2016)
Time better spent cutting toenails
What was the point? This film is a section from a man's life, as most films are, but in the vast majority of cases the reason it forms entertainment is that the section of a man's life in films usually chronicles the unusual or extraordinary. Hologram for a king does not. It simply tells of a man who goes to do some work in Saudi and has a benign cyst on his back that he expresses a very slight concern for. He seemingly has a problem with rest and can't get up on time for three days, this may be anxiety and jetlag, meets a woman and decides to take a job there. That's it! There's your spoiler, not that there is anything to spoil. Usually that part is just the underlying premise upon which you build the extra-ordinary story, the writer in this case has chosen to omit that part. Of course the performances are solid, you can't go wrong with Hanks and the ensemble that accompanied him was equally good at delivering a convincing "I'm a normal person", but then how hard can that be, most of us practice this all our lives. Most frustratingly was the sub-plots that went nowhere, and believe me there was lots of them, loose ends that the viewer clings on to hoping that there is some significance to these characters, it is only as the film ends you realise there was not, they were pointless! These would be his estranged ex-wife who is trying to force him to sell some house to pay for his Daughters College, this subplot ends there with no resolution. There's his daughter who is dropping out, and is sympathetic to the dad (Hanks), he chats to her through skype, that's the full development of that plot. Most interestingly is the Saudi cab driver (Alexander Black) great character, you think
this is going somewhere
you think. No, his plot is being accused of an affair that he is not having. He initially instils intrigue, as though he knows something about the development that Hanks has been brought across to work on, intimating that it is some kind of false project or scam, turns out that plot doesn't get developed, and he doesn't have any more light to shed than that. Oh, then there's the love interest who throws herself at Hanks, but it turns out he's not that interested and there's another sub-plot dropped, instead he falls for his doctor, an in-divorce proceedings Muslim woman doctor (Sarita Choudhury), who despite the strict protocol of women's behaviour in Saudi and the fact she has shown him no interest what so ever, is very Americanised and simply begins an affair as the result of an e-mail he sends her
if only it was that easy! Ooh, in one particular gripping bit, he goes and gets his team some Wi-Fi
get your popcorn ready for that bit!
And there you have it, that's the film, sorry to spoil it but spoilers alerted, although I firmly believe there is nothing to spoil, there is no film here, it's just actors doing what they do.
The Dressmaker (2015)
Hardly a spoiler because if you start watching this, unless you have a very short memory you will realise that this film is "Edward Scisorhands". Same film rehashed, subtle plot changes, but yes, that's all this rehash is. It's perfectly well executed, and an enjoyable film, but I cannot believe that people are not drawing this comparison. There is the the talented dressmaker(hairdresser) ostracised by the local community of gossips and 1950s dressed women. Considered dangerous or even murderous, living in the strange house at the top of the hill. Okay they add some subplots but seriously, guys, 0/10 for originality. Even the quirky characterisations and over exaggerated characters are on a parallel. If they had Tim burton directing this you'd think you were watching the same film.
Oliver, Stoned. (2014)
just watched this on Amazon prime, because I'm running out of things to watch. I would say this is a Seth Rogan film if it wasn't for the fact he ain't in it. This is no compliment, if your a Seth rogan fan then you'll probably think it's OK. The characters are so one dimensional they could be served with paper cut outs The acting has been criticised, I honestly don't think the actors or their acting was too bad, it's a weak film and as the saying goes you can't polish a t**d. The storyline has the typical "sethroganesq" stoner screw up guy, who keeps failing at all things in pursuit of weed, a disappointed dad who not only appears to be only ten years his senior for the nearly thirty something stoner living life as though he's 17 (hence the repeating Seth rogan references (did I say that I don't think Seth rogan should be allowed in front of a still camera never mind a movie camera) I got about an hour into the film when I found myself making use of the skip 10 seconds facility that Amazon provides, then I asked myself why I was wasting my valuable 4am time of insomnia on this when there's a bathroom floor I could be scrubbing or ironing that could be done...anything that would mean I don't have to waste my life on this film. That said I pity the actors and crew that probably wasted a lot more than one hour making this drainage. So, to end, I recommend the writer or final script editors that put this together as a script go back to Taco Bell and start wiping down the tables where they belong. Please send a cheque to compensate me for my time. It is in the interest of humanity I have bothered to take further time to write this review...may the Lord have mercy on your souls. Avoid this film, and avoid any film the writers make...note to self make a mental note of their names, wait don't risk forgetting...get a tattoo Jazz Kalkot and Tom Moris...you...you are to blame...don't go trying to pin it on the actors.
The Iceman (2012)
Must Watch ***
It's seldom I come away from a film thinking what an awesome performance from the lead, Michael Shannon captured this character, who while disconnected from emotions in a psychopathic way also resonated familiarity and a very identifiable normal human being making you feel compassion for him and his plight of just trying to earn enough to provide for his family and survive in a tough world. I still don't know how he pulled it off. Welcome Back Ray Liotta, Who has made some guff lately, but still not Ray at his best, I'm sure thats still to come. Wynonna was sterling and apologies for not paying more attention as she was so good she blended in as a completely believable character..if that makes any sense..so good I missed her work? In Short Legend of a film, definitely one everybody should see and its a shame this genre of films don't make the headlines anymore such as Godfather, Goodfellows even Silence of The Lambs..Thrillers is general because they are getting overlooked in favour of CGI blockbusters.
More like this please.
The Conjuring (2013)
How many times can they hash out the same old tripe. I struggle to class this as a spoiler as...If you have ever seen a film where a family move into a detached old house with a cobwebbed filled attic/cellar, where the dog won't come in and the someone first catches a glimpse in the mirror, the father tries to rationalise when all his family are screaming monster in the cupboard/wardrobe/cellar/attic/under the bed...yada yada yada. well this is yet another one of those films, nothing to see here, move along. The only credit I can give to this unimaginative template of a horror film, just change character names and some dialogue..and bingo a new Hollywood horror film right out of the scripts of the seventies...anyway the credit, a sterling (if a bit stereotypical of the girl who sees the monster as her imaginary friend...yes it has that old chestnut too) performance from Mackenzie Foy, the little girl who seems to have 20 years acting experience over that of Ron Livingston who's about as wooden as an oak tree's morning glory.
Man of Steel (2013)
SUPERMAN IS DEAD this film is KRYPTONITE
I can see why this movie appeals to a majority of people, it has all the explosions, fighting and fast flickering none stop action that seems to satisfy people today and it has it in abundance.#
I hate films which I have often reviewed as being "pretentious" and what I like to call "Emperors new clothes" which often get great reviews by other "pretentious" people who like to say how much they love some arty piece of drivel so that they can appear intellectual to the rest of us, as though we missed the greatness simply because we are not intelligent enough to have understood this cinematic masterpiece.
Unfortunately in a reversal of my usual standpoint, today I can't help thinking that I have become a member of the "highbrow brigade" as Man of Steel is what I can only think of as a "placebo of action for the in- intellectuals".
For me this film was tedious, I struggled to keep my eyes open and the character at the heart of the film wasn't Superman, it was ironman, thor or a generic super hero with a cape, who was indestructible and could fly...and nothing else. Assuming the writer "Goyer" and the Director "Snyder" are to blame for this debacle, what were they thinking?
I cannot claim to be a comic book reader, I'm no super hero geek, and I honestly don't know whether Superman is DC or Marvel. But I do know what superman is, and this ain't it.
Superman is not bolshy and tough, he is humble and meek, he doesn't allow thousands of people to die, because he is happy to push the bad guys through buildings making them collapse on the innocent public. There is a previous poster (lyre) that goes into the details of how many things are wrong with this film and I agree with every one of them.
So reap what you sew those that accolade this movie, I fear is that this is the end of Superman, this film has ruined it for the future as with this being a box office success, and the great unwashed looking at it favourably. Be aware that all future Superman films will be driven by sales and money hungry corporations will say...make more like that.. so well done Snyder and Goyer..you have killed superman.
one more thing to add to the nonsense reported by Lyer, how come everyone can teleport between Kansas and Whatever city "Metropolis?" it's supposed to be set in, seems superman and his foes push each other through countless collapsing buildings, up floors and be back and too between the desert, space, the city in a matter of seconds, to always have Lois Lane to rescue, or follow them up the stairs and be at the centre of the action...Is she super too?
You may well applaud this film now, but give it a couple of years and watch it on the same day as the classic Christopher Reeve version and you will then see how lacking in substance and Superman ethics this horrible horrible film was. Superman Returns Also was much better.
A franchise falling apart
Main spoilers near bottom look for warning.
What have they done to Bond, this was not a film that lives up to the expectations of the Bond franchise. As a film in it's self it was okay, nothing to write home about, in fact had this film not had a character in it called Bond it would have gone straight to video (DVD BLURAY whatever it is nowdays).
This film has enough quality actors to deliver. I do however care if I am able to follow the plot, accept that the reasoning and rational is not too contrived to make a storyline. This film falls at both these points.
The fact that I can say points about this film is a bit of an irony, in that it is pointless. Rules of Bond are quite simple, he saves the planet from devilish madmen hell bent on world domination, he does not bother with petty shoplifters, car thieves and in the case of this film, some balloon who has a vendetta against M.
From the outset it was a sequence of "bond Style" locations and chases but lacked any sequence, unravelling of story or development of either a "evil villain" or "Bond Girl" in fact there was not a bond girl in the film. So it went from car chase to bike chase to train chase to casino to boat to island to London to Scotland so all the ingredients but without a purpose, nothing unravelled. This film made no sense.we were just expected as viewers to trust that bond had some reason to go to the places listed above without any real reason other than they are "Bond Ingredients". Hints were dropped here and there that normally would have some depth, instead they were just keywords to associate one scene with another "Principally the word SKYFALL" which gets a mention by a shrink to bond but then gets brushed under the carpet like its some hidden codeword that cannot be talked about leading us to believe the shrink had some purpose to bring up such a word....nope it was apparently random to the shrink.
Please when watching this (as no doubt you will, hell its Bond) just separate the franchise and evaluate the film as if it was a new spy character series like Bourne, and when you do that you see this film has no substance whatsoever. Awful awful awful.
Sam Mendes should not be allowed behind a camera again if he can cock up this tried and tested formula. Craig is looking rough, and while still better looking than me, I wouldn't pitch myself as Bond and neither should he.
below more direct spoilers
It introduced a new Q character, cashing in on the geek chic by making him an attractive chap, but didn't give him enough substance for him to reoccur in the next film.
They take a trip to Scotland for reasons only known to Mendes himself which turns out to be Bonds childhood home called "skyfall"... hurrah a meaning to the title, not quite on par with goldfinger, man with a golden gun, moonraker etc, Skyfall a derelict old house where Mendes cannot decide if Bond was an orphan or had a father or whether all his possessions upon bonds premature bodyless death were put into storage or sold off.
bond goes to Skyfall to have the villain come to him instead of being on the backfoot, however bond goes completely unprepared and has to resort to old shotguns (Bond is never unprepared for anything you idiots..shaken not stirred is his catchphrase mendes !!).
gets helped out by an old man that recognises this 44 year old craig who has been looking after the place faithfully for what must be 40 years by my reckoning despite his parents being dead and him being orphaned, he kept the place batman esq ideal for Bonds return, who this gamekeeper will now lay down his life for, even though clearly bond has not been in touch.
and does bond succeed in protecting M..no he fails and M dies...BOND SHOULD NOT FAIL !
Magic Mike (2012)
Tedious Meets Pointless
Seeing this advertised it looked very much like "Boogie nights" meets "Full Monty" which is an accolade in itself, what you actually get is tedious meets pointless.
My wife was really looking forward to this too she's a Rom-Com fan as most women are, I'm sick of having to watch them to keep her happy TBH,and seeing that the above named films are in my personal top 50 of all time it seemed like one I could actually enjoy but still have credit for my choice of films next ;).(bonus)
Neither of us were entertained in a any way shape or form its a slow drive-less sequence of events that never lead anywhere. After an hour of sitting in silence I turned to the wife and said "Whats this about then? Its going nowhere" her reply was "I know its RUBBISH" which sums it up in a nutshell. There is literally is NO STORY, no events, the characters had promise had there have been a point to why they came together. It is neither action, comedy, thriller, romance or adventure. it's two hours of the boring bits in a good film that you forget as soon as the good stuff starts just to pad it out.
If you read the positive reviews they all surround the stripping, so basically lonely women doing the bias thing that they criticise men for doing, "ogling and objectifying", which I don't have a problem with in its self, but using IMDb to skew ratings which can affect whether people waste (lets face it A LOT OF MONEY on at current cinema prices) is damn out of order when they just rate something on its "hot man" concept rather than film quality.
As for spoilers there is no chance of anyone writing a spoiler on this movie, because nothing happens (does the fact telling you nothing happens count as a spoiler?).
Ill Manors (2012)
It has been a while since I have been spirited to write a positive review on a film, I'm always drawn though to gritty British street drama by the likes of Shane Meadows(This is England, Dead Man's Shoes) and Guy Richie, and now I have Ben Drew to look out for. The film borrows the integrating of separate lives genre such as used in Magnolia and Lock Stock with a Rap music throughout, now had I have know that it used rap music in that way I probably would have avoided it like the plague as rap music is just tedious to me under normal circumstances, but the lyrics which add narrative to the story and backgrounds of the characters is superbly done and despite my prejudice on rap music I have to hold my hands up and say "I have been educated" other music is well chosen and builds nicely to the feel at the time of use in the playout. All acting is good especially so from the lead characters, Chris, Aaron, Ed played by Lee Allen, Riz Ahmed & Ed Skien Respectively. I am shocked however to find according to IMDb that this is Lee Allen's only production...Wow! impressive I'm sure he's going to become one of Britain's household names. If you like this sort of British drama, go see, you will not be disappointed and well done to all concerned.
The Convincer (2011)
Very enjoyable, gripping
This is a must watch of fans of films such as Fargo and Usual Suspects, a roller-coaster ride which has you empathising with all the characters that surround the main character as he unveils his story and his underhanded and immoral plans which take him deeper and deeper into trouble. You soon forget that the protagonist is revealing a story of events and get caught up in the moment. Through most of the film I was merely content in the enjoyable storyline, it was only at the end sequence when all the components come together that you realise that this is actually a masterpiece of setting you up for a change in direction. Bravo to all concerned
Route Irish (2010)
not all bad
Just adding my balance to the reviews here. The acting does stand out as being particularly off in points, as you can see some of the actors eyes searching in the back of their heads trying to remember their lines as though they had received the script that morning. The story was hard to follow and unconvincing as a reason for a conspiracy. On the plus side, it did have potential, however potential is not any use to a finished product. I have to agree with another reviewer who suggested that Hollywood would have done a better job of it...and THAT really pains me to say as I do love British films mainly for that exact reason that we tend to make more subtle realistic action which makes it more believable and therefore more thrilling by its realism instead of impossible stunts (read Mission Impossible and anything by jon woo)